Missed escalation - Is it worth it?

[NewBeeWinner]

I approached this girl through cold approach on campus and got her number. Fast forward to that weekend and we go on a hike together starting at 9 am. She showed up late because she has to drive an hour and a half to get here from her current place. I was expecting her to leave at noon, as she said she had things to do. But instead she ended up staying and we spent the entire day together hiking and talking until 8 pm. We ended up in her car and we had broken the touch barrier way before this, back to when I first met her. We had sex talk and she gave a big escalation window to escalate to sex, but I missed it. I got a kiss at the end of the night.

Fast forward around a week to today. We made plans to meet at noon after I got out of class. She showed up late again around 2 (she worked until 10-11) and she had class at 4:30. It was hot as all craziness today and I had originally planned to isolate her by going on a small hike away from campus, so that plan didn't execute. Instead we walked around campus a bit and ended up in her class' building sitting at a table and talking. There isn't an easy area I can isolate her on campus. She's readily open to my touch and I get her to laugh easily. She ended up saying I should sit in on her class, which I did. Then I went with her back to her car.

She sat in her car and we had some low key sexual talk. I stood over her outside her car and teased her after a while that she should kiss me. I didn't get a kiss, but she offered me a ride to my car. Waiting outside my car, I leaned in one last time and said "Give me a kiss" to which she denied saying "not this time because I said so". Looking back now, I shouldn't have leaned in and asked, it probably came across slightly desperate. I was attempting to be more demanding and assertive, which she stated she finds attractive. She said shed see me later.

I missed the big escalation window. Any tips for correcting this? Or is her sudden denial an attempt to keep me around? This was my first time since the hike seeing her.

 

[Hue]

I was attempting to be more demanding and assertive, which she stated she finds attractive.

That's good you're working on yourself in this way. I think it's important to attempt to be overall dominant than to be demanding though. The former is always good whereas the latter is a contextual tool to use (such as demanding respect or commanding someone who needs to be dominated more aggressively).

What's more dominant, telling her to kiss you or putting your hand on her cheek and giving her a manhandle kiss?

I missed the big escalation window. Any tips for correcting this? Or is her sudden denial an attempt to keep me around? This was my first time since the hike seeing her.

Wait for the next one. Or, go find a new girl to distract yourself from the after effects of these hiccups, and she'll more than likely come around more enthusiastically / be more receptive after some time has passed. Right now she's the dominant one, hence "not this time because I said so". So she has control of the speed of things, which usually ends in her making you jump through more hoops / invest more to escalate. You don't want that dynamic. Especially if she's saying shit like this over something as small as a kiss. If a girl said this to me I would probably laugh at her and tease her until she started to act more submissive and playful (she's taking it way too seriously lol). That is if she isn't so rigid that it didn't work. If she didn't come around in a timely enough fashion I would just next her.


Hue

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Thanks for the reply, Hue.

I think you made a good point on being demanding vs being dominant - I wasn't thinking of it in that way initially.

I seen her today by accident and went in for a manhandle kiss, but she quickly moved back away and I missed it. I teased her saying "You're no fun" to which she replied "That's the point" while smiling - I feel like she is treating it as a game just to mess with me at this point. Honestly, its annoying and I want to frame it as something I'm not interested in playing. I don't have the time or energy for it. Any tips on doing this?

I think if I can isolate her a bit and then physically escalate on her some, she'll be more willing to let it go. Kind of like you said to make her more playful and submissive. I'll try maybe this weekend or next week sometime. If she still doesn't let it go, I'll just next her.

On that note, I'm still out meeting girls the best I can with my time. Today I approached around 5-6 girls and got numbers, but all of the girls were taken (expected at a college anymore). I'll keep cold approaching and will post an update at the end of this week if anything has changed.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Update:

Its Friday night and I yesterday attempted to make plans with the girl above, to which she replied that her weekend is "Lookin pretty shitty", which then followed her saying she has a lot going on and simple one line responses. Previously she had stated that she's usually free Sundays and had replied with paragraphs to my simple sentences. I eventually got frustrated and, as it was late at night and she gave no solid reasons to not join me, I said "Well you're obviously tired or whatever so text me when you're in a better mood" and I left it there.

This interaction made me realize two major things I need to work on:

1) I need to text warmer when making plans with girls I have met. I still get to the point of making plans, but I find it usually goes better when I can make some quick conversation with them. (Quick update - Not long after writing this, I texted girls who I didn't get responses from for a while, but this time more warmly and I've gotten much warmer responses from all the ones I texted)

2) I really lack at frame control. I thought I had understood what frame control was, but I never actually practiced it or attempted to get better at it. Now I am reading up on frame control and am going to make a serious effort to improve in that area of my seduction. From what I have read so far, it is quite literally the key I am missing to having smoother and more favorable interactions with women.

To summarize my update: things have failed to move forward at the moment, so I will give this girl some time (about a week) and then re-initiate with her. In the meantime, I have been cold approaching and meeting women so I will make plans with them. This has shown me I need to work on frame control and being a warmer person so that I can better guide interactions towards the goals I want.

Will update as things move forward! Please give me feedback on what you think so far (and any suggestions for what to do moving forward)!

 

[Hue]

Sounds like you've pointed out some of your central problems for whatever stage your in, and great, you're still out approaching and getting numbers!

Judging by the interactions with this girl and the way you texted her, "obviously you're tired, text me when you're in a better mood" you've made a move in the direction that says you're not playing this dynamic of non-reciprocal investment.

If this were me, I would completely next her until she re-initiates contact while you continue to develop your skills with other girls.