- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
I met this girl via Tinder last night. We met up at a bar about 15 mins from my house. Originally, she had told me that she had the day off the next day, but midway through the night she mentioned that she ended up having to cover someone's shift the next day and she has to get up @ 6:30. This kinda ruined a huge portion of my plan for the night because I was intending to move her elsewhere. But by the time she told me, we only had half an hour till she had to leave.
Anyways, I met her @ the bar. We did some light bantering+deep diving for a while. Occasionally, I touched her here and there. At one point I disqualified myself as a BF.
Me: Na, I'm moving away for school again in a couple months.
Her: [Looks away with just a hint of sadness in her voice] Oh really, where's your school at?
The problem with using this as any type of gauge for how she felt about me is that she was kind of adhd-ish in general and her EC was terrible (i.e. she quickly broke eye contact and looked away throughout the entire date). And the sadness in her voice might have been something I was just imagining. Like, I'm legit not sure if it was even there. Her voice may have been entirely neutral. I can't remember very well.
Anyways, other than that, I moved her around the bar a few times, we continued chatting the whole time. I didn't really manage to create much of a sexual vibe. But I've noticed that's not always necessary to escalate. So as the date progressed, I consistently touched her to gauge how she feels about kissing me (ex. I was touching/stroking her hair at one point}. Eventually, I just went for it and kissed her. It was pretty brief and she broke it first, giggled and excused herself to go to the bathroom.
We talked some more etc. And she said she has to leave (this was 10 minutes later than when she said she had to go earlier, so I feel like it wasn't just an excuse to get away from me). It took us a while to get the bartenders attention so we could pay. So again, we talked and I also kissed her one more time. Again, she broke it after a brief period of time and giggled.
Finally, we left. She walked me down to my car, I had already asked about her favorite music etc.
Me: Let's go in my car and listen to music
Her: Yeah sure, go ahead I'm gonna go to my car (or something along those lines). [I'm not sure if she heard me correctly and pretended to ignore it as a form of politely saying no or if she genuinely thought I said I wanted to do it alone]
Me: Ok
As a goodbye, we made out for a little bit longer this time. Like, 10-15 seconds instead of just 1 or 2. Also this time it included tongue. Also, at the end, I grabbed her ass to try to escalate. She broke the kiss shortly after, giggled and told me to text her. She left.
It is now the next morning. I've checked Tinder and noticed that she's unmatched me. I also sent her the standard "I had a good time" text. She hasn't replied. And since she unmatched me, I don't expect her to.
As a final note, we're both lightweights and we had quite a few drinks. I was pretty drunk by the end of the night, and she was tipsy if not also drunk.
What do you guys think. I'm guessing this is a missed EW? Or based on all the giggling after every kiss, maybe she's not used to even kissing guys on first dates, and she's having "buyer's remorse" and feels taken advantage of cause she was tipsy/drunk (she seemed pretty conservative relative to a lot of girls I meet)?
Also, as a side note, I feel like I'm pretty bad at recognizing EW's. Like, I probably could have kissed her 10-20 mins earlier than I did. And had I been sure she wanted me to pull her (as opposed to the random shot in the dark I took), I probably would have been much more persistent. You guys know any advice or articles specifically about recognizing EW's?
Anyways, I met her @ the bar. We did some light bantering+deep diving for a while. Occasionally, I touched her here and there. At one point I disqualified myself as a BF.
Me: Na, I'm moving away for school again in a couple months.
Her: [Looks away with just a hint of sadness in her voice] Oh really, where's your school at?
The problem with using this as any type of gauge for how she felt about me is that she was kind of adhd-ish in general and her EC was terrible (i.e. she quickly broke eye contact and looked away throughout the entire date). And the sadness in her voice might have been something I was just imagining. Like, I'm legit not sure if it was even there. Her voice may have been entirely neutral. I can't remember very well.
Anyways, other than that, I moved her around the bar a few times, we continued chatting the whole time. I didn't really manage to create much of a sexual vibe. But I've noticed that's not always necessary to escalate. So as the date progressed, I consistently touched her to gauge how she feels about kissing me (ex. I was touching/stroking her hair at one point}. Eventually, I just went for it and kissed her. It was pretty brief and she broke it first, giggled and excused herself to go to the bathroom.
We talked some more etc. And she said she has to leave (this was 10 minutes later than when she said she had to go earlier, so I feel like it wasn't just an excuse to get away from me). It took us a while to get the bartenders attention so we could pay. So again, we talked and I also kissed her one more time. Again, she broke it after a brief period of time and giggled.
Finally, we left. She walked me down to my car, I had already asked about her favorite music etc.
Me: Let's go in my car and listen to music
Her: Yeah sure, go ahead I'm gonna go to my car (or something along those lines). [I'm not sure if she heard me correctly and pretended to ignore it as a form of politely saying no or if she genuinely thought I said I wanted to do it alone]
Me: Ok
As a goodbye, we made out for a little bit longer this time. Like, 10-15 seconds instead of just 1 or 2. Also this time it included tongue. Also, at the end, I grabbed her ass to try to escalate. She broke the kiss shortly after, giggled and told me to text her. She left.
It is now the next morning. I've checked Tinder and noticed that she's unmatched me. I also sent her the standard "I had a good time" text. She hasn't replied. And since she unmatched me, I don't expect her to.
As a final note, we're both lightweights and we had quite a few drinks. I was pretty drunk by the end of the night, and she was tipsy if not also drunk.
What do you guys think. I'm guessing this is a missed EW? Or based on all the giggling after every kiss, maybe she's not used to even kissing guys on first dates, and she's having "buyer's remorse" and feels taken advantage of cause she was tipsy/drunk (she seemed pretty conservative relative to a lot of girls I meet)?
Also, as a side note, I feel like I'm pretty bad at recognizing EW's. Like, I probably could have kissed her 10-20 mins earlier than I did. And had I been sure she wanted me to pull her (as opposed to the random shot in the dark I took), I probably would have been much more persistent. You guys know any advice or articles specifically about recognizing EW's?
