- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Ok, so based on the stories I hear from others who have gone down this road before, it sounds like in a situation as twisted as this one, its best to just drop the girl and move on. I'm completely ready to do so if necessary. But first, I just wanted to check up with you guys as my experiance in social circle game is limited.
So technically, I met this girl about 3.5 months ago. She's an aide for my Physical Therapy. So for all intents and purposes, I interact with her twice a week for 3-5 minutes a session.
On my third session, I grabbed her number. I already wrote about it in my journal...here's an excerpt from it which describes the interaction:
"Me: We should hang out sometime
Her: Oh, is that so?
Me: Yeah... [I hand her my phone]
Her: Um, why are you giving me this? [laughs]
Her: Ohh...it's so I put my number in.
Me: Nooo, I just randomly hand my phone to people!
Me: And you just kinda looked like you need a new phone.
Her: Yeah, totally! I just got an Iphone 6, but I definitely need a new one! [She says this as she puts her number in]
Me: Yep...for sure.
Me: [I start to say something else. If forget what. It's irreverent though]
Her: [She interrupts me/blurts out]Ok, well have a good day! [She scurries out].
I guess it doesn't exactly show through the convo, but she was kind of nervous/panicky the whole time. And she isn't usually like that. In fact, every other time I've seen her, she's seemed to have quite a bit of social intelligence/good conversation skills. Also, I found her on FB, and it turns out, she has a BF." <---Btw, after closer inspection, it turns out her BF lives far away, so she's in an LDR with him.
Later that day, I sent her an ice breaker text. She didn't reply. Given that I'm going to be consistantly seeing her, I didn't want to ask her out cause I don't want to put her in the awkward situation of having to not reply to my text then have to see/interact with me again.
Instead, I basically dropped the whole thing and just chatted with her every time I saw her. Despite not replying, she was always very invested in conversation with me (i.e. she always stayed to chat way after her job putting electrodes to my chest was done), and she told me a lot of details about her life which are beyond the usual chit chat Customer Service workers do. Also, I'm almost sure that in some of the stories she told, she intentionally concealed the fact that she has a BF by referring to him as her "friend" or by cutting him out of the story altogether.
Fast forward to last Monday...she invited me to go watch a show with her at a club in the downtown area. She still hadn't mentioned that she has a BF, and I had never brought it up. She vaguely mentioned that maybe she was going to bring her sister. So I wasn't sure if she was asking me on a date or if she just wanted to hang out.
So when I finally did meet her (last night), it with her sister. A lot of things happened that night, but here are the highlights:
Pros:
- I flirted with/danced/hugged a lot of girls in front of her (I even madeout with one of them...don't think she saw that though. Haha). Every time I did this, she eagerly asked me "who was that? How do you know her etc" My reply was always "I don't know [sexy smile]". This seemed to yield positive reactions.
- She was VERY touchy with me. Like, literally only one other girl has gone out of her way to touch me that much. And she currently wants to sleep with me (I ended up having to friend-zone her)
- When guys would try to grind up on her, she would back into me asking me to "protect her"
- She grabbed my hand and led me to this one light show. I put my arm around her and she didn't seem to mind.
- After I got home, she went out of my way to text me at 3:30 AM "I had a good time tonight! Hope you got home safe"
-I created a lot of intrigue, teased her etc. throughout the night. Not much deep diving though (wasn't really appropriate given the night club environment)
- I won her sister over (i.e. she approves of me)
Cons:
- I came alone. Looks like she expected me to bring friends. So it definitely was not a date by any stretch of the imagination. What's worse is that she kept challenging me about this. Like, I think it was legit concerning to her that I came by myself. She seems to be exactly the type of girl to whom social proof is super important. I had none of it. Luckily, I had a good reason...my phone went through the washer literally a few hours earlier, so I lost all my contacts. So I couldn't invite anyone to come.
- 10 minutes in, she casually mentioned that she has a BF in convo. I didn't ask about it...he just came up in the conversation...I think we were talking about a Necklace she was wearing or something, and he apparently gave it to her.
- I was assigned the typical "guy pal" role of being her and every other in our group's BF for the night if anyone tries to grind up on them.
- She's pretty flirty/ high energy in general. I might be gettin caught up in meaningless reactions.
- I think I creeped her friends out. I did ok with her sister, but later in the night, her friends joined us, and I didn't do so hot with them. haha
- She was leading the interaction the whole night. She was clearly the "alpha-female" type. She was undoubtedly the leader of not just me, but also her entire group of 5 or 6 friends that night.
Also, throughout the entire night (including the start!) she as at least somewhat drunk.
So, I want to invite her over or ask her out on an actual date. But at the same time, I actually value her friendship a lot. Both because I think she's really cool, and because her social circle is full of girls who literally look like supermodels. Also, I feel like I can't ask her on a date anymore because I now know that she has a BF. Cause even if she wants to say yes, she still might feel slutty. If she wants to say no, she'll question why I'm asking her out in the first place since she knows I know she has a BF.
So my questions are:
Do you guys think I'm friendzoned?
Should I continue pursuing her?
If so, how should I proceed?
Any other thoughts are welcome
So technically, I met this girl about 3.5 months ago. She's an aide for my Physical Therapy. So for all intents and purposes, I interact with her twice a week for 3-5 minutes a session.
On my third session, I grabbed her number. I already wrote about it in my journal...here's an excerpt from it which describes the interaction:
"Me: We should hang out sometime
Her: Oh, is that so?
Me: Yeah... [I hand her my phone]
Her: Um, why are you giving me this? [laughs]
Her: Ohh...it's so I put my number in.
Me: Nooo, I just randomly hand my phone to people!
Me: And you just kinda looked like you need a new phone.
Her: Yeah, totally! I just got an Iphone 6, but I definitely need a new one! [She says this as she puts her number in]
Me: Yep...for sure.
Me: [I start to say something else. If forget what. It's irreverent though]
Her: [She interrupts me/blurts out]Ok, well have a good day! [She scurries out].
I guess it doesn't exactly show through the convo, but she was kind of nervous/panicky the whole time. And she isn't usually like that. In fact, every other time I've seen her, she's seemed to have quite a bit of social intelligence/good conversation skills. Also, I found her on FB, and it turns out, she has a BF." <---Btw, after closer inspection, it turns out her BF lives far away, so she's in an LDR with him.
Later that day, I sent her an ice breaker text. She didn't reply. Given that I'm going to be consistantly seeing her, I didn't want to ask her out cause I don't want to put her in the awkward situation of having to not reply to my text then have to see/interact with me again.
Instead, I basically dropped the whole thing and just chatted with her every time I saw her. Despite not replying, she was always very invested in conversation with me (i.e. she always stayed to chat way after her job putting electrodes to my chest was done), and she told me a lot of details about her life which are beyond the usual chit chat Customer Service workers do. Also, I'm almost sure that in some of the stories she told, she intentionally concealed the fact that she has a BF by referring to him as her "friend" or by cutting him out of the story altogether.
Fast forward to last Monday...she invited me to go watch a show with her at a club in the downtown area. She still hadn't mentioned that she has a BF, and I had never brought it up. She vaguely mentioned that maybe she was going to bring her sister. So I wasn't sure if she was asking me on a date or if she just wanted to hang out.
So when I finally did meet her (last night), it with her sister. A lot of things happened that night, but here are the highlights:
Pros:
- I flirted with/danced/hugged a lot of girls in front of her (I even madeout with one of them...don't think she saw that though. Haha). Every time I did this, she eagerly asked me "who was that? How do you know her etc" My reply was always "I don't know [sexy smile]". This seemed to yield positive reactions.
- She was VERY touchy with me. Like, literally only one other girl has gone out of her way to touch me that much. And she currently wants to sleep with me (I ended up having to friend-zone her)
- When guys would try to grind up on her, she would back into me asking me to "protect her"
- She grabbed my hand and led me to this one light show. I put my arm around her and she didn't seem to mind.
- After I got home, she went out of my way to text me at 3:30 AM "I had a good time tonight! Hope you got home safe"
-I created a lot of intrigue, teased her etc. throughout the night. Not much deep diving though (wasn't really appropriate given the night club environment)
- I won her sister over (i.e. she approves of me)
Cons:
- I came alone. Looks like she expected me to bring friends. So it definitely was not a date by any stretch of the imagination. What's worse is that she kept challenging me about this. Like, I think it was legit concerning to her that I came by myself. She seems to be exactly the type of girl to whom social proof is super important. I had none of it. Luckily, I had a good reason...my phone went through the washer literally a few hours earlier, so I lost all my contacts. So I couldn't invite anyone to come.
- 10 minutes in, she casually mentioned that she has a BF in convo. I didn't ask about it...he just came up in the conversation...I think we were talking about a Necklace she was wearing or something, and he apparently gave it to her.
- I was assigned the typical "guy pal" role of being her and every other in our group's BF for the night if anyone tries to grind up on them.
- She's pretty flirty/ high energy in general. I might be gettin caught up in meaningless reactions.
- I think I creeped her friends out. I did ok with her sister, but later in the night, her friends joined us, and I didn't do so hot with them. haha
- She was leading the interaction the whole night. She was clearly the "alpha-female" type. She was undoubtedly the leader of not just me, but also her entire group of 5 or 6 friends that night.
Also, throughout the entire night (including the start!) she as at least somewhat drunk.
So, I want to invite her over or ask her out on an actual date. But at the same time, I actually value her friendship a lot. Both because I think she's really cool, and because her social circle is full of girls who literally look like supermodels. Also, I feel like I can't ask her on a date anymore because I now know that she has a BF. Cause even if she wants to say yes, she still might feel slutty. If she wants to say no, she'll question why I'm asking her out in the first place since she knows I know she has a BF.
So my questions are:
Do you guys think I'm friendzoned?
Should I continue pursuing her?
If so, how should I proceed?
Any other thoughts are welcome
