Mojo gone - how did you fix it?

[REM050]

Hello fellow lovermen,

I’ve been following this site for a good many years now and used its content to much effect, but today is going to be my first contribution to the forum. Following discussions is fun, but with this one I would like to (re)start a theme that probably quite a few of you will find themselves in from time to time.

To put it short: I’m having a bad year. Romantically, seduction wise, professionally and, because of all this, also personally and mentally. Where 2023 was excellent in all aspects of life, recovering fully from a few years of poor health included, somehow ‘the gods’ have decided to put me to the test for this one. It isn’t nice - although it isn’t all completely falling apart either.

Now, to stick to the seduction part of things. My favourite mode of operating is picking up a girl during the day, go for an instant date somewhere in my city - it’s an old European one, so it’s all walking distance - and then invite her to my place and cook some food or have a tea or whatever. In the past this almost never failed. When she would come home with me I’d be pretty certain I had her in the bag. I seduced a few models, a ballet dancer, and some very pretty yoga teachers this way.

Last year, for example, I picked up a bit over half a dozen girls with this method, some of which stuck around to be my lover for a while. Then there were a few from social circle, some whilst going out at night and in summer I met an Italian girl that invited me for a long weekend on Ischia a few weeks later (she arranged everything).

This year nothing seems to work. I picked up as much girls this way the first half of this year as I did the entire last year, but except for one that clearly was looking for a bit more adventure in her life I lost them all. One was ‘seeing someone already’ and bailed at the last moment due to her Christian values - whilst stating she found me very attractive at the same time - another was being very flirty but left my life the same swallow tail butterfly-y way she entered it. All of them asked me for my number, only to never reply and vanish from the planet completely the next day. There were two girls that I ran into by accident some weeks later and both were stone cold to me - even though they told me their entire life story with glimmering eyes whilst here at my place a few weeks earlier.

I know I’m quite a bit mood or state sensitive so it’s obvious all of the aforementioned setbacks do play a role here, but still I feel like I’m missing some clear points of improvement here. Because of all of this my motivation is at an all time low, not to mention my confidence - obviously. I have been considering ‘hitting the red button’ and going ‘tabula rasa’ in a different place, but I like my life as it is (house, social circle, profession etc) too much to do that.

So as for the women: they trust me, they enjoy my company a lot (some were with me for hours) and I obviously made them feel something because why would they be so upset when running into me again later. Pushing things forward faster is one option, of course, but I would love some more quality feedback. Most of my friends are oblivious to the ways attraction work and the ones that do have settled down and are so infatuated with the family life that all they do is telling me to do the same.

So, for everyone that lost their ‘mojo’ sometime in their lives: what did you do to get it back?

 

[gameboy]

Ok let me see if I understand right.

The girls come home to you, you have tea and deep conversation, and nothing sexual happens? Do you try to escalate and they refuse, or where is the problem exactly?

 

[isildur1]

you've had a lot of positive experiences so that clearly shows you're an effective individual with strong SMV and good daygame prowess and your results look good prior to this slump . Remember daygame is brutal and has a 95 percent drop out rate minimum the fact that you've survived this long and actually have gotten laid with high quality women is impressive you should be proud of yourself and not get too spoilt .

could it be you're just experiencing a bit of negative variance in dating? there are always bad streaks where things can go wrong - if a woman is overly religious and choses to date others or ditch you as a result that's something you can't control . There will always be women that flake for motivations and things that are just beyond your grasp - when i started out i had 4 months of poor dates and a whole heap of flakes before 3 daygame lays in the space of one week - good streaks come but there will be bad ones too- it happens to everyone .

Keeping your mentality high and as corny and cheesy as it sounds appreciation for the experiences that youve had are really important remember most guys in the world will never be able to experience what you have- dating models and belly dancers is an fantastic acomplishment -if these women found you attractive enough to sleep you from a raw cold approach there are bound to be 10,000s of other women in your country that will do the same. You have the reference experience to show you are good enough and you have the ability. But much like poker there will be some bad hands, some women you can't do anything about. You can't change women or their objectives and goals and you can't force people to like you , in general women move quick and flake often even after sex or good dates in some cases. It's normal .

 

[isildur1]

tips to get the mojo back

find good wingmen to motivate you - from my experiences this will increase your output and increase your enjoyment of the process (well it did for me)

understand and reframe why you're doing this - your time on this planet is short as is everyone elses whos reading this forum you therefore want to maximise it with the best possible women and that will require a large work ethic and some form of mental strength and adaptability - whether you're a male 1 or a male 10 you need a huge amount of mental strength regardless of your ability everyone will have negative streaks and variance .

Maybe travel to a new country to do daygame- different dating scene might increase the passion - it certainly did for me doing daygame in China was awesome compared to London and gave me my confidence and mojo back sometimes doing it in the same city over and over again with the same women can get tedious

improve your own smv - maybe can increase your confidence a bit more but that varies from person to person

 

[REM050]

This is a wonderful community: just a few hours into posting and already so much constructive feedback. Thanks guys!

@gameboy It's pretty much like that, yes. I do escalate - which I always did very naturally/flowy: first closing the distance, then getting her to lean in a bit or wrap my arm around her or something like that - I have a 'leaning-out-window' with an amazing view that is very popular with the right kind of girls - and then see how she responds. I think Isildur is probably right when stating that it's just been a few poor hands dealt to me.

Which brings us to @isildur1 . Thanks for the great feedback. Love the tone of your writing too, btw.
I don't think I ever had a 95 percent fail rate in any form of game, except for night (in clubs) or online (utterly depressing) which aren't for me as I'm not tall enough for those, too old and I don't fit the aesthetic. When my hook rate drops under one out of four I usually start considering what I need to improve. Maybe I should aim for that 95% to counter any laziness I suffer from... It's a good day today (sunny, last week of summer holidays...) so let's see what updates I can get you tonight or tomorrow.

As for the change of scenery: I will go on a big trip to South America in Autumn. This is probably a good call as the best conquests ever were explicitly not from my own country. I'm not too successful with the local ladies, actually, but that's a different story altogether.

The confidence and SMV took a bit of a hit due to the professional setbacks, but financially I'm safe and sound so it isn't too big a problem, outside of the sense of fulfilment and achievement that is low.

Thanks again guys. Hopefully I'll be able to contribute with a nice conquest log (lay report) sometime soon.

 

[isildur1]

This is a wonderful community: just a few hours into posting and already so much constructive feedback. Thanks guys!

@gameboy It's pretty much like that, yes. I do escalate - which I always did very naturally/flowy: first closing the distance, then getting her to lean in a bit or wrap my arm around her or something like that - I have a 'leaning-out-window' with an amazing view that is very popular with the right kind of girls - and then see how she responds. I think Isildur is probably right when stating that it's just been a few poor hands dealt to me.

Which brings us to @isildur1 . Thanks for the great feedback. Love the tone of your writing too, btw.
I don't think I ever had a 95 percent fail rate in any form of game, except for night (in clubs) or online (utterly depressing) which aren't for me as I'm not tall enough for those, too old and I don't fit the aesthetic. When my hook rate drops under one out of four I usually start considering what I need to improve. Maybe I should aim for that 95% to counter any laziness I suffer from... It's a good day today (sunny, last week of summer holidays...) so let's see what updates I can get you tonight or tomorrow.

As for the change of scenery: I will go on a big trip to South America in Autumn. This is probably a good call as the best conquests ever were explicitly not from my own country. I'm not too successful with the local ladies, actually, but that's a different story altogether.

The confidence and SMV took a bit of a hit due to the professional setbacks, but financially I'm safe and sound so it isn't too big a problem, outside of the sense of fulfilment and achievement that is low.

Thanks again guys. Hopefully I'll be able to contribute with a nice conquest log (lay report) sometime soon.

im saying 95 percent of all daygamers will fail long run- the fact that you're still here and still out there despite some setbacks its a success in of itself. A big part of seduction is mentality and some of the worst wingmen i had were male models because they didn't have the mentality to deal with negative setbacks and rejection which for a lot of them daygame was the first time they were properly experiencing full on rejection - Online game the swipe lefts are hidden from you, night game everyone is drunk so the feedback isn't "real" or "honest" daygame is the only form of game where you are getting full on real time honest feedback continually most men really can't hack it long term - look how dead the seduction community is now for an example lol

if you feel your smv has had a setback i recommend Krauser's daygame talk he talks about how to deal with slumps

 

[REM050]

Thanks for the link @isildur1 !

So today I bumped into two nice girls. Auto rejected on the first one, sadly, but got the number of the second who seemed to really like the idea of seeing me again. Will keep you posted.

Btw. I think this forum will do just fine as a substitute for the wingman you suggested.

Cheers!

 

[Marty]

To put it short: I’m having a bad year. Romantically, seduction wise, professionally and, because of all this, also personally and mentally. Where 2023 was excellent in all aspects of life, recovering fully from a few years of poor health included, somehow ‘the gods’ have decided to put me to the test for this one. It isn’t nice - although it isn’t all completely falling apart either.

So, for everyone that lost their ‘mojo’ sometime in their lives: what did you do to get it back?

Yes, something similar happened to me in 2017-18. The worst years of my life by far.

What I learned was to be very careful about the few areas that remained good and to be sure to salvage them. That’s because when you’re off-balance already, it’s easy to accidentally let additional elements of your life, which worked well until then, slip away too. You mention that “it isn’t all completely falling apart”, which sounds promising. I’d recommend starting by securing those items carefully, and building back gradually from there.

 

[Will_V]

Hello fellow lovermen,

I’ve been following this site for a good many years now and used its content to much effect, but today is going to be my first contribution to the forum. Following discussions is fun, but with this one I would like to (re)start a theme that probably quite a few of you will find themselves in from time to time.

To put it short: I’m having a bad year. Romantically, seduction wise, professionally and, because of all this, also personally and mentally. Where 2023 was excellent in all aspects of life, recovering fully from a few years of poor health included, somehow ‘the gods’ have decided to put me to the test for this one. It isn’t nice - although it isn’t all completely falling apart either.

Now, to stick to the seduction part of things. My favourite mode of operating is picking up a girl during the day, go for an instant date somewhere in my city - it’s an old European one, so it’s all walking distance - and then invite her to my place and cook some food or have a tea or whatever. In the past this almost never failed. When she would come home with me I’d be pretty certain I had her in the bag. I seduced a few models, a ballet dancer, and some very pretty yoga teachers this way.

Last year, for example, I picked up a bit over half a dozen girls with this method, some of which stuck around to be my lover for a while. Then there were a few from social circle, some whilst going out at night and in summer I met an Italian girl that invited me for a long weekend on Ischia a few weeks later (she arranged everything).

This year nothing seems to work. I picked up as much girls this way the first half of this year as I did the entire last year, but except for one that clearly was looking for a bit more adventure in her life I lost them all. One was ‘seeing someone already’ and bailed at the last moment due to her Christian values - whilst stating she found me very attractive at the same time - another was being very flirty but left my life the same swallow tail butterfly-y way she entered it. All of them asked me for my number, only to never reply and vanish from the planet completely the next day. There were two girls that I ran into by accident some weeks later and both were stone cold to me - even though they told me their entire life story with glimmering eyes whilst here at my place a few weeks earlier.

I know I’m quite a bit mood or state sensitive so it’s obvious all of the aforementioned setbacks do play a role here, but still I feel like I’m missing some clear points of improvement here. Because of all of this my motivation is at an all time low, not to mention my confidence - obviously. I have been considering ‘hitting the red button’ and going ‘tabula rasa’ in a different place, but I like my life as it is (house, social circle, profession etc) too much to do that.

So as for the women: they trust me, they enjoy my company a lot (some were with me for hours) and I obviously made them feel something because why would they be so upset when running into me again later. Pushing things forward faster is one option, of course, but I would love some more quality feedback. Most of my friends are oblivious to the ways attraction work and the ones that do have settled down and are so infatuated with the family life that all they do is telling me to do the same.

So, for everyone that lost their ‘mojo’ sometime in their lives: what did you do to get it back?

There's no substitute for physical exercise when you're low. It's the one thing that depends on nobody else but you. Your career, your relationships, your money, your freedom, and even your health in general can be taken away, but (to paraphrase James Bond) if you can exercise your little finger, you're still in the game.

Whenever I hit a low, I start doing some form of exercise, to substitute the suffering of things I can't control with the suffering of things I can. It's hard to feel bad about yourself as a man when your body is capable or construction or destruction, when your hands are capable of seizing things and bending them to your will. Everything else doesn't actually exist - money doesn't really exist, the past doesn't really exist, people's perceptions of you don't really exist, if you can act in the present moment in whatever way you want. No amount of financial debt can make your muscles vanish, your tendons weaker, or your dick go limp. Only you can do that.

Once you've established that you could live under a bridge and do pushups all day without getting depressed, it's very easy to look around and see what better options there are, and go after them.

 

[REM050]

@Marty and @Will_V Thanks for the great advice. More exercise never hurts, nor does cherishing what we have. I will let you know what the feedback is on the performance of my little finger in due time. And depending on how much she appreciates it she might even be the last one to date for who knows how long (never leave a good reference unanswered, as the great book of social etiquette says on page 211)