This is my first forum post but I've known about the site for a year or so and have come here for tips, advice, ect. which have helped. I'm going to take a more active approach now as I've realized I started straying from many of my own and this sites principles. I recently screwed things up with a girl pretty bad, I'm not too torn up about it but I do want to go back and find exactly what my mistakes were. I will try to keep the recap as concise as possible and will pose specific questions at the end.
Lets skip the first few months as there isn't much useful information. Everything seems to have gone sour since the second time we slept together. That was three weeks ago. Prior to that I had started pushing to see her more often but she's busy with work and friends. I thought she had soured on me at this point as I asked her to do something three or four times in one week and she was "busy" for all of them. Anyways that Saturday I ran into her at a bar and she asked to talk to me. She said she liked me but that she didn't want a boyfriend, and then I made the biggest mistake. I was honest. I told her how I felt, and though I didn't say I wanted a relationship, I basically said I wanted more. Long story short I ended up taking her home again with almost no effort.
The next week I was away on business and she texted me 2 or 3 times during that period. She texted me right when I got back and we chatted but I didn't ask her to do anything. The week after that I asked her to lunch but she was busy, she asked the next day if I was free for lunch but I was busy. Again that weekend I didn't push anything mostly because I wanted to go out with another girl. Last week I asked her to do something Tuesday after work and she said maybe, however, in the end she was busy with a friends going away party, she proposed lunch the next day but I was again heading out of town for three days. When I got back I sent her a message asking which pair of shoes she liked more as I was shopping online. She came back with a snooty "I'm not going to wear them, why are you asking me?' I replied that I'd asked several people which was true. I then invited her to a party the next night but she said she was going to the beach. I get the feeling that she is souring on me and I'm trying to recover as she has a great personality and is very pretty. However, I'd like some other peoples opinion on where I went wrong.
1. How big of a mistake was it in asking for more? I know I gave "power" away with that comment but I still managed to take her home that night.
2. She had more or less asked for space that night and I listened and stopped pushing too hard. Did this show her that I was willing to change my habit to accommodate her wishes?
3. Was letting two weeks go by without asking her out on a weekend a bad idea?
4. Was my shoe comment to obviously an excuse to start a conversation with her? She seemed to read through it but I thought that this was casual and something I'd do with friends anyways, although I rarely listen and buy what I want anyways.
5. My current plan is to pretty much stop all contact for the next few weeks. Good or bad idea? Will she be able figure out what I'm doing by not contacting her?
6. Are there any other major mistakes I made in the above interaction that aren't jumping out at me?
7. Am I overacting to all of this?
Lets skip the first few months as there isn't much useful information. Everything seems to have gone sour since the second time we slept together. That was three weeks ago. Prior to that I had started pushing to see her more often but she's busy with work and friends. I thought she had soured on me at this point as I asked her to do something three or four times in one week and she was "busy" for all of them. Anyways that Saturday I ran into her at a bar and she asked to talk to me. She said she liked me but that she didn't want a boyfriend, and then I made the biggest mistake. I was honest. I told her how I felt, and though I didn't say I wanted a relationship, I basically said I wanted more. Long story short I ended up taking her home again with almost no effort.
The next week I was away on business and she texted me 2 or 3 times during that period. She texted me right when I got back and we chatted but I didn't ask her to do anything. The week after that I asked her to lunch but she was busy, she asked the next day if I was free for lunch but I was busy. Again that weekend I didn't push anything mostly because I wanted to go out with another girl. Last week I asked her to do something Tuesday after work and she said maybe, however, in the end she was busy with a friends going away party, she proposed lunch the next day but I was again heading out of town for three days. When I got back I sent her a message asking which pair of shoes she liked more as I was shopping online. She came back with a snooty "I'm not going to wear them, why are you asking me?' I replied that I'd asked several people which was true. I then invited her to a party the next night but she said she was going to the beach. I get the feeling that she is souring on me and I'm trying to recover as she has a great personality and is very pretty. However, I'd like some other peoples opinion on where I went wrong.
1. How big of a mistake was it in asking for more? I know I gave "power" away with that comment but I still managed to take her home that night.
2. She had more or less asked for space that night and I listened and stopped pushing too hard. Did this show her that I was willing to change my habit to accommodate her wishes?
3. Was letting two weeks go by without asking her out on a weekend a bad idea?
4. Was my shoe comment to obviously an excuse to start a conversation with her? She seemed to read through it but I thought that this was casual and something I'd do with friends anyways, although I rarely listen and buy what I want anyways.
5. My current plan is to pretty much stop all contact for the next few weeks. Good or bad idea? Will she be able figure out what I'm doing by not contacting her?
6. Are there any other major mistakes I made in the above interaction that aren't jumping out at me?
7. Am I overacting to all of this?
