- Joined
- Jul 23, 2017
- Messages
- 187
Tonight I caught up with a woman I was previously in a serious relationship with (she's unavailable but we like to keep in touch, so we talk once a month or slightly longer) and I heard something that pisses me off. It's caused by something that's plagued me for a while. When we parted ways, I moved on to build a new social circle (as the old one was one I never got involved with much and she started going out with another guy in it a while after we split). However, I've learned that the old social circle pokes fun at her for having been with me before the new guy. He tells them to cut it out but they still do it whenever he's not around. This leaves a pretty bad taste in my mouth for a variety of reasons.
Honestly, me and the new guy don't like each other for obvious reasons but we both want the best for her (although I don't see him going so far as to stand up for a guy that is neither present nor liked by him). Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not waiting on her. I know better than orbiting, it's the reason I keep myself so distanced from her (regardless of our social ties, extending as far as our family members). However, I'll be damned if I let something about me cause a woman I've been with grief after being with her. I want to have nothing but a profound effect on their life (aside from this, I believe that I have as far I can tell).
So I believe the problem is simple enough as it's familiar to me. I've always just been more in favor of hanging out with few people rather than large crowds or multiple groups so I never really did anything about it. But I'm tired of being looked at like I'm low in social standing, I want people be proud to have even stood next to me when I walk in a room. With me about to run off to university, this seems like the perfect time to nail this sort of thing. So, time to get a bit more popular.
So enough with backstory, here's what you need to know:
My style is very much a Brooder, although sometimes I can adapt a more talkative seduction style if I'm able to get myself in the right mood. So I tend to be more quiet day to day and follow sprezzatura religiously. My social circles (both previous and current) mainly connect and show off through social media (Instagram, if it matters), however I suck at remembering to take photos for social proof or preselection (I get very caught up in the moment) and my page doubles as my personal and professional page (I'm a writer, most of my content is significantly relevant to my personal life. I live almost as an open book). One or two of my old social circle follow my account but I don't know that it matters since it's public. Would there be any sort of posts that would serve me best in any way?
As per in person, I only spent one or two nights with the full old social circle at small college parties. As you would imagine, I was pretty quiet and kept to myself and the friends I knew somewhat better (go figure, approach anxiety plagued me during my relationship). When I did talk to the other guys it was mostly surface level shit. I later learned that my friend who originally invited me to this party (my childhood best friend) had been going to these parties since middle school and never once invited me until I got into a relationship. He apparently never even mentioned me once during that entire time to these guys (I don't consider him a close friend anymore). Anything I can do to be seen in a better light without having to do much? Again, sprezzatura is one of my best strengths. To violate it would often seem really incongruent with my actual personality.
To grossly underexplain: I'm asking what I can do to become significantly more popular and gain more fame among peers when I'm starting from a place that's less than ideal in terms of popularity?
I don't care if everyone likes me or not, I do think that having that value would be both cool and beneficial to myself and the people I choose to surround myself with though. Plus, who doesn't love to embarrass a jay crew catalog that doesn't know when to shut up every so often? Let's blow em' away and make em' turn red for talking shit. What do ya say guys?
Edit: As I write this I'm currently pulling an all nighter for a college course. So if anything's unclear or makes no sense, just ask.
Honestly, me and the new guy don't like each other for obvious reasons but we both want the best for her (although I don't see him going so far as to stand up for a guy that is neither present nor liked by him). Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not waiting on her. I know better than orbiting, it's the reason I keep myself so distanced from her (regardless of our social ties, extending as far as our family members). However, I'll be damned if I let something about me cause a woman I've been with grief after being with her. I want to have nothing but a profound effect on their life (aside from this, I believe that I have as far I can tell).
So I believe the problem is simple enough as it's familiar to me. I've always just been more in favor of hanging out with few people rather than large crowds or multiple groups so I never really did anything about it. But I'm tired of being looked at like I'm low in social standing, I want people be proud to have even stood next to me when I walk in a room. With me about to run off to university, this seems like the perfect time to nail this sort of thing. So, time to get a bit more popular.
So enough with backstory, here's what you need to know:
My style is very much a Brooder, although sometimes I can adapt a more talkative seduction style if I'm able to get myself in the right mood. So I tend to be more quiet day to day and follow sprezzatura religiously. My social circles (both previous and current) mainly connect and show off through social media (Instagram, if it matters), however I suck at remembering to take photos for social proof or preselection (I get very caught up in the moment) and my page doubles as my personal and professional page (I'm a writer, most of my content is significantly relevant to my personal life. I live almost as an open book). One or two of my old social circle follow my account but I don't know that it matters since it's public. Would there be any sort of posts that would serve me best in any way?
As per in person, I only spent one or two nights with the full old social circle at small college parties. As you would imagine, I was pretty quiet and kept to myself and the friends I knew somewhat better (go figure, approach anxiety plagued me during my relationship). When I did talk to the other guys it was mostly surface level shit. I later learned that my friend who originally invited me to this party (my childhood best friend) had been going to these parties since middle school and never once invited me until I got into a relationship. He apparently never even mentioned me once during that entire time to these guys (I don't consider him a close friend anymore). Anything I can do to be seen in a better light without having to do much? Again, sprezzatura is one of my best strengths. To violate it would often seem really incongruent with my actual personality.
To grossly underexplain: I'm asking what I can do to become significantly more popular and gain more fame among peers when I'm starting from a place that's less than ideal in terms of popularity?
I don't care if everyone likes me or not, I do think that having that value would be both cool and beneficial to myself and the people I choose to surround myself with though. Plus, who doesn't love to embarrass a jay crew catalog that doesn't know when to shut up every so often? Let's blow em' away and make em' turn red for talking shit. What do ya say guys?
Edit: As I write this I'm currently pulling an all nighter for a college course. So if anything's unclear or makes no sense, just ask.
Last edited:
