My advice on dealing with being older and feeling like you missed out.

[Teevster]

A man's prime begins in his mid to late thirties, and lasts, well, for as long as he keeps himself healthy, fit, and strong.

Oh I though it was early 30s! Are you telling me things are only getting better???

I mean it makes sense - many of the top guys peaked mid 20s and peaked again mid 30s (they peaked for different reasons).

-Teevster

 

[Teevster]

Have I? Must be the college threads then. I actually had an epiphany recently. When we look at the past, we look at it with rose-tinted glasses. We imagine the most ideal scenarios of our youth. What if our parents were more laid back? What if we had more money? But then when we are honest with ourselves, we realize that as younger men, a lot of us were slightly timid. Even if the circumstances were right, some of us were just not ready even if we think we were.

We would have had a hot girl in our dorm but fumbled it or gotten too nervous at 18 as a freshman. A large part is media and society overhyping college here in America.

But I also think what if I had hit my prime early in life? Realistically, I would have:

• Gotten married
• Probably had my first kid by 30
• Bought a house in the suburbs
• Settled down
• Not have traveled to the best cities in the world
• Sort of become that fat suburban dad with khakis

It is hard to really find the drive to do Game if you peak early. It is why so many guys I have known that peak really early tend to burn out after their early 20s.

I look back on the guys I knew who were popular in school and uni. The vast majority of them that I used to follow on social media:

• Have gained weight
• Settled down with rather plain looking women
• Live a boring life
• Used to see my stories (back when I was active on social media) and would DM me about them and such

It is quite rare that I meet guys who own it in their teens and then their 20s and then their 30s. Most men who peak early, from personal observations, prefer to settle down because in their minds, they had their fun. I also talk to a lot of guys who peaked in school and tell me "It's not as easy after it".

And your point is?

That momentum/skill goes down if not maintained?

-Teevster

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

And your point is?

That momentum/skill goes down if not maintained?

-Teevster

1. We look at the past with rose-tinted glasses

2. Hard for guys who peak early to find motivation to keep on maintaining

3. Reason for number 2 is because in some ways, it does get harder on paper once you are out of a closed environment that seems good on paper (ie: College where women outnumber men and everyone is around 18-21 primed to hook up)

 

[Teevster]

1. We look at the past with rose-tinted glasses

2. Hard for guys who peak early to find motivation to keep on maintaining

3. Reason for number 2 is because in some ways, it does get harder on paper once you are out of a closed environment that seems good on paper (ie: College where women outnumber men and everyone is around 18-21 primed to hook up)

And your point is?

Aside from nostalgia (I agree, it is a thing in this field), your other points are pure KJ. I do not see any issues with point 2. I mean I peaked in my late 20s. Now I am less active than I used to, but that's ok - since I am in my prime agewise and les work is really needed?

Point three is just empty word salad, with no basis in reality.

-Teevster

 

[Skills]

Most guys that are older don't feel at all like we missed out... The ones that did are usually guys that married young... You are totally projecting... I am one of the oldest guys in the forum... Never ever felt like that...

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

And your point is?

Aside from nostalgia (I agree, it is a thing in this field), your other points are pure KJ. I do not see any issues with point 2. I mean I peaked in my late 20s. Now I am less active than I used to, but that's ok - since I am in my prime agewise and les work is really needed?

Point three is just empty word salad, with no basis in reality.

-Teevster

Late 20s is still a relatively older age to be peaking and note that you come from Europe where, from what I have learned, even things like college are a lot more different than they would be in the United States. There is nothing wrong with the idea that if you peak earlier in life (school or early 20s), it is generally harder to find the motivation to continue on with Game for most men, at least those not in the Game community. This being lessons I learned from guys who I spoke to well after their school days.

The sentiment was something along the lines of:

I have to go out and actually meet girls now instead of having them just show up to parties

These women are older and have more mileage on them compared to a freshman in college

It is harder to naturally make friends and have social interactions that school facilitated

Do I think all of these points are true? Not really. I do, however, find that of the guys I speak to that peaked at a young age, this tends to be the sentiment.

On the contrary, with Europeans I talk to, university days hold far less weight. They are not hyped up to be all that.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Most guys that are older don't feel at all like we missed out... The ones that did are usually guys that married young... You are totally projecting... I am one of the oldest guys in the forum... Never ever felt like that...

I agree with this but I do feel as if society kind of pushes this idea on you that you did. It happens in small doses and rather passive ways. Pretty sure it was you who wrote a while back about the Drake vs Kendrick Lamar drama. I was trying to get myself educated on it so I saw some videos around that. A number of YouTube influencers were gaslighting Drake for being in his 30s and getting significantly younger girls.

The comments that were being upvoted the most were:

Drake just missed out on his youth due to being a dork and is now pathetically trying to make up for lost time

He is too old to be chasing that party life, like dude just start a family already

Why is he still a f*ckboy when he is pushing 40?

I mean it was a big topic of discussion in his subreddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drizzy/comments/1723irl

 

[Teevster]

Late 20s is still a relatively older age to be peaking

I may have peaked in my late 20s, but I promise you that most men would have envied my "early 20s" and even late teen results.

you come from Europe where, from what I have learned, even things like college are a lot more different than they would be in the United States. There is nothing wrong with the idea that if you peak earlier in life (school or early 20s), it is generally harder to find the motivation to continue on with Game for most men, at least those not in the Game community. This being lessons I learned from guys who I spoke to well after their school days.

I admit that we do not have those wild fraternities and stuff that the US have. Ok, so you have/had an extra arena. Lucky you?

But that aside - most famous pua's were originally american, with NYC and LA being the hubs. Rarely did we read about "college" stuff. There was this guy called Hshudo, who specialized in it, but aside from him, it was mostly seen as a niche thing.

Where does this focus on "college" game come fra really? There are only two people I have seen mentioning this over and over again: you and the community's most notorious troll.

-Teevster

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

A man's prime begins in his mid to late thirties, and lasts, well, for as long as he keeps himself healthy, fit, and strong.

I am in my early 30s. One thing I am noticing for myself though is:

• Some gray hairs popping up in the beard (my hair is naturally black)
• Diffuse or slight thinning at the crown of my head

Do not want to hop on finasteride or anything since that kills boners. Might consider Minoxidil though.

I do feel like once men stop listening to society and the endless shaming that yeah, 30s are truly freedom. I care less of what people around me think and care less to being popular and having tons of friends. Now I am just focused more on getting good with Game and making money.

In my 20s, I felt like I was trying to fit in more and be friends with everyone. TBH, I like my 30s better.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I may have peaked in my late 20s, but I promise you that most men would have envied my "early 20s" and even late teen results.



I admit that we do not have those wild fraternities and stuff that the US have. Ok, so you have/had an extra arena. Lucky you?

But that aside - most famous pua's were originally american, with NYC and LA being the hubs. Rarely did we read about "college" stuff. There was this guy called Hshudo, who specialized in it, but aside from him, it was mostly seen as a niche thing.

Where does this focus on "college" game come fra really? There are only two people I have seen mentioning this over and over again: you and the community's most notorious troll.

-Teevster

-Teevster

Good on you because I even mentioned in the original post that at a young age, most men are not killin it with women or doing all that well so you are an outlier. This is why I have valued your advice on a lot of the posts you have made.

Let me rephrase and clear the air here as to why I even made this thread. It was because I was hearing a lot of content like the stuff below:

Inspired by older guys doing cold-approach pickup

Being 39 years old myself, I am extremely motivated and inspired by older guys doing cold-approach pickup, and even more so when they are successful at it (think 50+ years old and more). There aren't many older guys publically talking about their experiences or success with cold-approach and...

www.skilledseducer.com

College Women and Men in their 30's Help

Hey, I am a 32 year old man, stay in shape etc. Live in Tampa, FL college town. Thought about moving to Miami or somewhere else but my issue if you want to call it that is that the women who go out are mostly in there 19-24 year old range. I have no problem talking to and trying to but I worry...

www.skilledseducer.com

As you can see, other men do feel a certain way about age. In my original post, I never said that being older was a bad thing or anything to be ashamed of. I do admit that with age, there are certain things you might have to do differently. As for college and school, those are big developmental milestones and most men in their teens and early 20s start to either learn about Game or interacting with women around those ages, when it starts to become somewhat of a big priority.

 

[Teevster]

Good on you because I even mentioned in the original post that at a young age, most men are not killin it with women or doing all that well so you are an outlier. This is why I have valued your advice on a lot of the posts you have made.

Many men who banged tons of chicks in their early 20s too???

I find this whole debate to be silly.

45+ can be deemed older (you can argue 40 if you insist), and under 20 can be deemed younger (18 if you insist). Between 20 and and 40, age is a non-factor really. Yes you do have to calibrate to your age, but adjustements are relatively minor when you think of it, and the age will have very little impact on results.

-T

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Many men who banged tons of chicks in their early 20s too???

I find this whole debate to be silly.

45+ can be deemed older (you can argue 40 if you insist), and under 20 can be deemed younger (18 if you insist). Between 20 and and 40, age is a non-factor really. Yes you do have to calibrate to your age, but adjustements are relatively minor when you think of it, and the age will have very little impact on results.

-T

I agree with you, I do find the debate silly because let's be real here, we do agree on a lot more things than disagree but a healthy debate livens the forum up every now and then. At the rate technology and anti-aging medicine are going, we might be at a point where 50 is the new 20. I just hope they invent this crap before the hair on my beard gets any greyer lol.

Till then I will enjoy my youth and my upcoming trip where you will get that goulash pic

 

[KJ Francis]

I think the "missed out" feeling is only if you are not currently approaching much (or still suck) because you are comparing to some easy layups where you had "warm approach" social circle opportunities like dorms, etc.

Example I had an easy layup with a girl laying on the bed who literally undid one of her shirt buttons. I kind of froze and didn't take the escalation window. Once I read GC and understood men take the active role in mating, I reached out to her and fucked her years later.

Another example girl in the dorm was laying on my bed and I didn't escalate. Not long after, she went out one night and brought a guy in his 30's back to her dorm room and he spent the night.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I think the "missed out" feeling is only if you are not currently approaching much (or still suck) because you are comparing to some easy layups where you had "warm approach" social circle opportunities like dorms, etc.

Example I had an easy layup with a girl laying on the bed who literally undid one of her shirt buttons. I kind of froze and didn't take the escalation window. Once I read GC and understood men take the active role in mating, I reached out to her and fucked her years later.

Another example girl in the dorm was laying on my bed and I didn't escalate. Not long after, she went out one night and brought a guy in his 30's back to her dorm room and he spent the night.

It’s also funny, because the more you approach actively the less girls make blatant moves like this.

I think in the beginning they realise you are just too dense to make a move yourself and they try to make it too easy and help you through.

Later, when you get more of a closer mentality this happens less and less. They know you will make it work so they don’t need to be that active.

And I personally prefer closing the girls I am cold approaching now, compared to missing the girls that were signalling me heavily in warm environments back then.

 

[504]

NO FUCKIN WAY

IRT!

You back, like, fo' real?!!

 

[Aussiedude]

The funny thing though is that I never felt that I was missing my best years, in fact I believed that it was totally normal to start working on girls later. I even found strange how obsessed the other teenagers were about it. It wasn’t a part of my life then, but I always knew it would become at some point.

I am 28 now and I honestly feel I am just starting. Do I already get responses like: “you are too old”, from 18 years old? Yes. But you know what, the first girl that I ever approached in a party asking her number told me I was too old when I was 23 and she was 20, and then she also told me she was studying so much and had no time to go out at all.

If you've ever worked in sales you'll know the first thing they teach you is not to believe what people tell you is the reason they can't buy. Same with the age thing, that girl probably wasn't interested for a million different reasons. Her saying you're too old isn't the real reason It's just an easy way for her to duck out. It's the same as prospects saying, they have to speak to their business partner, gotta think about it, they never make decision without consulting their wife etc.

If let's say a chick doesn't find you physically attractive she's not going to say you're too ugly. Instead she picks the polite thing to say which is you're a bit too old for her. Guarantee that same girl can meet a guy older than you but he's better looking, ticks all her boxes and she won't think twice what his age is.

Also I've asked a few girls around the 20 age group about older guys. And from what I gather what matters isn't age but how the older guy looks. Which is fair, a lot of older dues 30+ really let them selves go. Why would a 20 year old girl fuck some overweight balding dude??

 

[ChrisXKiss]

If you've ever worked in sales you'll know the first thing they teach you is not to believe what people tell you is the reason they can't buy. Same with the age thing, that girl probably wasn't interested for a million different reasons. Her saying you're too old isn't the real reason It's just an easy way for her to duck out. It's the same as prospects saying, they have to speak to their business partner, gotta think about it, they never make decision without consulting their wife etc.

If let's say a chick doesn't find you physically attractive she's not going to say you're too ugly. Instead she picks the polite thing to say which is you're a bit too old for her. Guarantee that same girl can meet a guy older than you but he's better looking, ticks all her boxes and she won't think twice what his age is.

Also I've asked a few girls around the 20 age group about older guys. And from what I gather what matters isn't age but how the older guy looks. Which is fair, a lot of older dues 30+ really let them selves go. Why would a 20 year old girl fuck some overweight balding dude??

Yeah that’s exactly why I mentioned this situation, it’s never about the reason they give you, and it’s good to keep that in mind as I explained.

Which is important, because when people don’t have much experience they can take these reasons girls give them at face value.

Regarding the why a young girl would sleep with such older guy, I would argue because he has game, or status, or anything else that clicks with her. That said I would agree that most “age rejections” of that sort happen very fast so they are basically about looks and fundamentals.