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My everlasting problem

IAOWTHAY

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
May 8, 2016
Messages
2
Hello guys , the everlasting problem that I talked about in the title , is a problem that haunted me for my whole life , it is like , people never gave me value , let me describe that , it's like the first impression I give is that I am a submissive , not respectable , too nice , and underestimated kind of person ( without even saying a word ) , for example I am with a group of people , let's say , for a school project , the first thing they would do is , like shut me up all the time ( although I am the one of the best in the class ) and never care about my oppinion , or say " okay , we'll look at that later " and yeah they never care about it , and this is the case in all aspects of life , also , people always feel free to disrespect me for whatever reason , like they feel dominant in my presence , and the thing that frustrates me is , I try to display confidence , use dominant body language , work out 5 times a week ( 3 times strength training and 2 times with my soccer team ) , and try all things I read in GC but without any outcome , and those things just ruin me with girls and my social life , It's like people don't take me seriously at all and I tried everything , being the mature guy , the funny guy etc...
sidenote , I am not complaining ( and will never complain ) that people are bad , but just wanting to fix something that haunted me for so long , in all places , and I mean all , in my soccer team , the 4 schools I attended etc ... , it just the same impression and same reactions that always repeat , and thank you in advance for your answers
 

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 14, 2013
Messages
1,016
IAOWTHAY,

you're touching on so many areas in self-development, it's hard to tell which area you need help the most.

IAOWTHAY said:
it's like the first impression I give is that I am a submissive , not respectable , too nice , and underestimated kind of person

That's just your self-image or your (mis)interpretation of other people's reaction...It's not necessary what other people think of you. (The fact is it doesn't matter what they think of you) They probably don't think of you that way, but because you think you're like this, you act like this so other people treat you like this.

Watch some RSDTyler or RSDfreetour videos. Find the videos that will answer your questions. It sounds like you need to sort out your mindsets first before you look at techniques. I could tell you to be congruent and don't put up a persona, i.e. don't try to be the mature guy, funny guy..etc. , but I think the videos will explain it better than I can. The thing is "displaying confident" is very different from "being confident".

You need to respect yourself first before you can expect others to respect you. This means set up boundaries for YOURSELF. Find out what behaviours you cannot tolerate from yourself and do your best to live up to it.

Focus on giving value without wanting anything in return. If you're doing or saying things to get people to respect you, validate you...etc., people can sense that you have an agenda and they'll put up a wall.

IAOWTHAY said:
It's like people don't take me seriously at all and I tried everything

Don't take life too seriously man. When you stop taking other people's reaction so seriously, they can relax around you and have fun with you.

IAOWTHAY said:
I am not complaining ( and will never complain ) that people are bad
That's awesome. I highly recommend Tyler's videos on inner game and beliefs, because I think you just have a false perception of yourself that you need to let go and let the real you shine through.
 

Zoro

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
1,124
Read, "How to Win Friends and Influence People."

People are pretty good at picking leaders within a small group. The leader is usually someone who is taking into account everyone's needs. Are you doing that? It seems like you're caught up in your own head, rather than tending to the group as individuals. Its more than just moving the group towards the goal, it's managing the people within it.

This is actually key to seduction too. Read Hector's article today and you'll see how keenly aware he is of the girl's needs.

https://www.girlschase.com/content/shatter-last-minute-resistance-compassion-passion
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

IAOWTHAY

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
May 8, 2016
Messages
2
I see , thanks for the replies , so , I need to sort my inner game out then begin with my techniques , right ?
 
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