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- Jan 2, 2015
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- 1,107
Our campus rec center (gym) offers membership to a variety of different fitness classes for only $45 a quarter. Now that my shoulder is feeling better, I decided to throw myself into that in hopes of getting back in shape and upping my social circle game.
As usual, I'm facing a distressing amount of social anxiety. This is not to be confused with approach anxiety. I've written numerous posts about it already, so I won't delve into this issue again until I have new information.
However, i'm also facing a few others issues. All the classes I'm taking are very female dominated.
In my core training class, there are 2 guys including me out of like, 30 people.
In my yoga class, there are 60 or 70 people, and it seems that only 10-15% of them are dudes.
In my HIIT training class (High intensity intervals), there are only 3 dudes out of 15 or so people.
I've yet to go to my Kettle Bell training class, but I suspect it will also have a lot of girls.
This inbalanced ratio is great for pickup itself. However, I also feel a little bit weird going out of my way to socialize with girls. Mainly because I fear that girls will think i'm only there to hit on them, and that I don't actually care for the class itself. <---I suspect based on based on past experience with similar thoughts that this is an inner game issue, and that in reality, most girls there will be glad to chat with me. But unfortunately, given that I haven't been in this situation before, I'm not emotionally convinced this is true.
Also, I'm kind of at a loss for what to do. I can't treat it like regular day or night game (i.e. I can't just go around hitting on every girl there) because I'll burn out the room very quickly, there's not enough time for that and I'm going to continue seeing these people over the course of the quarter. So treating it like cold approach is probably not the smartest move anyways. I'm just now coming to realize that without this mechanized way of picking up girls which I've been learning for the past year and a half, I'm left unsure of what to do.
...So naturally, I step back and decide to "be genuine" (i.e. do whatever I would naturally do as opposed to trying to calculate or plan out my moves). This would probably work great if it weren't for the aforementioned anxiety. When I tried it, it seemed that "be genuine" in this situation realistically meant "do nothing". Or "nervously make a comment about the class" LOL
Also, this feels slightly different from social circle. Usually when I meet girls in social circle, there's some sort of introduction, or we're already doing an activity together. So its only natural that I'll chat with her. Whereas here, even though we're in the same classes, we're still not doing any shared socializing. We just happen to be doing pushups in the same place. haha
So really, it feels like kind of a mix between cold approach and social circle.
Any tips or comments on this situation?
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On a completely separate note, one of the instructors is really cute. But she's also a hired gun. To me, this is a problem because I can never tell when she's genuinely interested in talking to me, or if its because she has to be nice to me. Last time I was in this situation, I didn't do anything and sent a very interested girl into auto-rejection. I hope not to make the same mistake Any tips on hired guns? I'm particularly interested what dictates a genuine sign of interest vs just being friendly.
As usual, I'm facing a distressing amount of social anxiety. This is not to be confused with approach anxiety. I've written numerous posts about it already, so I won't delve into this issue again until I have new information.
However, i'm also facing a few others issues. All the classes I'm taking are very female dominated.
In my core training class, there are 2 guys including me out of like, 30 people.
In my yoga class, there are 60 or 70 people, and it seems that only 10-15% of them are dudes.
In my HIIT training class (High intensity intervals), there are only 3 dudes out of 15 or so people.
I've yet to go to my Kettle Bell training class, but I suspect it will also have a lot of girls.
This inbalanced ratio is great for pickup itself. However, I also feel a little bit weird going out of my way to socialize with girls. Mainly because I fear that girls will think i'm only there to hit on them, and that I don't actually care for the class itself. <---I suspect based on based on past experience with similar thoughts that this is an inner game issue, and that in reality, most girls there will be glad to chat with me. But unfortunately, given that I haven't been in this situation before, I'm not emotionally convinced this is true.
Also, I'm kind of at a loss for what to do. I can't treat it like regular day or night game (i.e. I can't just go around hitting on every girl there) because I'll burn out the room very quickly, there's not enough time for that and I'm going to continue seeing these people over the course of the quarter. So treating it like cold approach is probably not the smartest move anyways. I'm just now coming to realize that without this mechanized way of picking up girls which I've been learning for the past year and a half, I'm left unsure of what to do.
...So naturally, I step back and decide to "be genuine" (i.e. do whatever I would naturally do as opposed to trying to calculate or plan out my moves). This would probably work great if it weren't for the aforementioned anxiety. When I tried it, it seemed that "be genuine" in this situation realistically meant "do nothing". Or "nervously make a comment about the class" LOL
Also, this feels slightly different from social circle. Usually when I meet girls in social circle, there's some sort of introduction, or we're already doing an activity together. So its only natural that I'll chat with her. Whereas here, even though we're in the same classes, we're still not doing any shared socializing. We just happen to be doing pushups in the same place. haha
So really, it feels like kind of a mix between cold approach and social circle.
Any tips or comments on this situation?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a completely separate note, one of the instructors is really cute. But she's also a hired gun. To me, this is a problem because I can never tell when she's genuinely interested in talking to me, or if its because she has to be nice to me. Last time I was in this situation, I didn't do anything and sent a very interested girl into auto-rejection. I hope not to make the same mistake Any tips on hired guns? I'm particularly interested what dictates a genuine sign of interest vs just being friendly.
