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My First Post - Is two really better than one?

Felix

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Mar 15, 2015
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Hello forum members- this will be my first post!

I have been reading GC for a few months now after first coming across the "How to Get Your Girlfriend Back" article.
I believe this fact nicely sets the frame in which I was viewing the material I gradually began to explore.
I have since read and digested a lot of the presented concepts- finding some to crystallise already held beliefs, extending some into new ones and in some cases it was only for me to discover that I decidedly disagreed with the position or mindset described here.

I have only very recently explored the forums and have quickly decided to register and post (though I am member of no other forum- as yet) though perhaps to contest as well as praise some of the ideas shared- I have a feeling that I will actually have many people willing to discuss these topics and look forward to hearing what people have to say. I can say that the quality of insights posted to this forum is most alluring, with greatest respect I suppose unavoidably going to Chase for his ridiculously consistent on-point-ness.

I will attempt to address the conflicts I find from a top-down approach- beginning the fundamental beliefs communicated in the website's message, and will try to add the context of my own thinking where possible. This is just the first of many.

This indeed brings me to my first conundrum-

Are two (or more) girls really better than one?

What I mean by this is that is what can be found to be the net emotional (+/-) difference between leading polygamous/open/casual/single relationship patterns as opposed to monogamous/committed relationships.

It is obviously assumed that if you are involved in a committed relationship that does not permit additional sexual partners then this should be respected - It is also therefore assumed that there is a distinct choice that must be made between commitment (for any given length of time) and multiple sexual partners.

This then makes us ask the question- which of these two competing set-ups is most beneficial?

It depends...

I know.

Still, I ask the readership what advantages (if any) they perceive to be of of having continuous multiple, dare I say - 'novel' sexual partners while equal sexual fulfilment plus, I might argue, a whole lot more can be found in a good, healthy and well-managed yet committed relationship. Perhaps I could be enlightened.
I expect that the emotional toll or potential 'blow up in your face' risk when ending even short-term committed relationships will be a major factor of avoiding committing whilst still in the screening phase.


However I have never been able to work out if the ultimate goal of GC's general membership is to finally find 'the one' and settle down?
i.e. is the ideal of a 'revolving door' of high quality women is simply an effective screening process playing itsself out to find the ultimate match and then adjust motivations into the LTR mindset?

With anticipation,

Felix
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Franco

Tribal Elder
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Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
Felix,

Welcome to the boards! I'm glad you've decided to participate.

However I have never been able to work out if the ultimate goal of GC's general membership is to finally find 'the one' and settle down?

Well, if you were unable to determine the ultimate goal, then it sounds like GC has done a pretty good job of accomplishing its task, which is to let the reader decide for himself what type of lifestyle he would like to live.

Some of the guys who read this website are looking to live a life of polyamory and multiple sexual partners spanning over long periods of time. And we consider this perfectly fine if it's what you decide that you want. Simultaneously, we have plenty of guys (and I'd probably say the majority) who are just looking to improve their skills well enough to a point where they can bring in high quality women for long-term relationships -- possibly to settle down with one particularly amazing girl.

This website and its articles are geared toward helping each individual achieve the goal he wishes to pursue. That is why you see a handful of amazing articles about "How to Make Her Fall in Love" and "How to Manage Your Relationship/Girlfriend" as well as articles such as "How to Date Multiple Women With Zero Drama" and "How to Have a Threesome." We allow the readers to determine which lifestyle suits them more, and then give them pertinent advice based on the path they are taking.

With that in mind, that should answer your overall question ("which is better?"). The answer is: whichever lifestyle is more appealing to YOU. =)

- Franco
 

Felix

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Joined
Mar 15, 2015
Messages
2
Thank you for your response Franco :)

I believe I will have quite some fun delving into the varied angles of GC's articles and seeing further what fits and maybe what doesn't.
I very much look forward to posting and participating on these boards - I am highly growth oriented and due to some recent life-changing events have found a new vocation in this to focus my efforts.



For now I suppose a little more about me;

I am early-mid 20's, a university graduate and motivated to build my career and life-skills.
I would rate my 'fundamentals' and 'game' to be somewhere around a 7/10 which I am aware may seem bold but I have always been a reasonably successful seducer- however all of this was shelved for the girl I had found.
I have been in a committed relationship for the last ~7 years though have spent the last 9 months with it falling down around me.
Throughout the duration of the relationship I often had both doubts of its suitability but also strong feelings of happiness and contentment.
Before this -in my teenage years- I had only casual encounters and short term relationships.


I came to this site, I believe, looking for ways to repair the damage in hope of rebuilding the relationship I was losing.
The advice came strong and clear- Do Not Chase.
I knew it was sound advice.
I *knew* what would happen if I chased.
For myself however, I knew what I must do.
Perhaps I had realised something.
I was certain I did not want to game her to get her back.

I have always instinctively held the basics of abundance mentality, have always had options and have been much of what is described as a strong dominant male throughout much of the relationship. I would always win bluff wars and she would always cave first. I was the only one who ever mentioned ending the relationship. My investment in her was significantly lower that hers in me. I would flirt often and was know as attractive and desirable amongst her friends. This was however at the expense of the Disney princess romance that my girl at least thought she wanted.

Perhaps in some way I felt like I owed my beloved girlfriend just a little affection.
In our last interactions I expressed my emotions openly, I was kind, caring and loving. I put her on a pedestal. I even told her she would soon leave because I had started to chase her. I just wanted to give her the whole of my heart as I could see the end was near.
Even while I knew what that meant.


Attraction indeed vanished and she was gone. Just exactly as I thought.


7 years over.





Do I regret my actions?

No.

Not one bit-

I gave her what she "wanted"
I showed her the affectionate side of myself at just the right time. She feels respected and loved even through these tough times.
She is able to feel our relationship was built on true love- only love could tame such a man and cause him to be affectionate.
She has fond final memories of our relationship (even though we know this isn't really what girls want from a relationship it is a powerful memory she can always look upon fondly).
My ex now holds me in the highest regard and with great respect. The door behind me is always open and my reputation is in tact.


My conscience is clear
I didn't give up.
I didn't pull the trigger.
She decided to leave and with that she will have to live - not me.
I am now sufficiently recovered to be happy and hopeful for what my future holds. I believe I am best able to move forward given the dynamic of our break up. Perhaps chasing and allowing the relationship to take its course like this was the cleanest exit for me.


I understand first hand
If you want your girl to run for the hills and never look back then chase her.
Otherwise, yeah, don't do that.
I knew it. I understood it. I believed it. Only now I have internalised it.




Perhaps unwittingly, perhaps subconsciously I found the right path for myself as I have now moved into new territories of happiness and fulfilment.
I have met and progressed with a new, vibrant and exciting girl.
My level of regret is zero, my level of hurt is diminishing daily.

My ex has since expressed her desire to undo her decision and get back together. Unfortunately she is too late.
Perhaps not only had I discovered a way to compassionately end such a long term relationship but also to re-ignite it.

All I know is that my life will never be the same.
Thank you GC.

More to follow,
Felix
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
People grow apart. Sometimes they grow apart together, other times they go their own seporate ways...

As a seducer, lover, BF or husband you can always do things 100% the "right way" for the relationship to work out, you can be dominant, attractive, leading and charming, you don't have to chase at all - but it doesn't really mean that it will work out. There is always the other half - her. You simply have no power over "the other half", she's got her own mind, her feelings, her desires, her decisions....

She is a different person than she was 7 years ago, especially if she was around 17-18, and today she's your age. She met lots of people during these years, she was influenced by many other people, she is more mature, she changed some of her beliefs, she is looking for different values, she may be looking to saddle down, or perhaps just explore "what is out there"... You are also different person than you used to be...

There is no right or wrong answer, it is what both of you want. Some people make it last the whole life, others don't...
 
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