My Head Goes Blank

[Native]

I've been making progress lately. Still have bits of approach anxeity and i'm getting past it.

a problem I'm having is that when I talk to people or girls my mind goes blank as to what to say next, and i usually find myself listening to people talk about topics i can't relate to. What can i do to combat this?

 

[DesiBro]

If your head is truly blank, bow out politely and go approach someone else. This is a problem for which experience is the only solution.

If you still have your wits with you but don't know what to say, a good idea is to prepare some vague fallback questions to use, or to profess that you've always wanted to learn more about the topic (if she is excited by the topic).

 

[Doctor]

I have found an effective strategy when the conversation goes quiet is to stare off into space and look slightly bored. This puts social pressure on someone to re-start the conversation and because girls are usually more attuned to reading this social pressure they will, 9 times out of 10, crack before you and start up the conversation again.

Of course this relies on them actually being interested in you, if they don't spark the conversation back up then it probably wasn't going anywhere anyway, no loss. And of course it wont work if you are running into pauses in conversation every 30 seconds, this will just get tedious for her. If you are running out of things to say this often then I would suggest you just talk to everyone, as much as possible, and develop some common conversation topics you can relate to.

It is a highly effective tool however because she quickly realises that she re-started the conversation, so it puts her in the position of chasing. She will remember chasing you long after the interaction is over and that is a very powerful thing as far as attraction goes.

I think there may be some articles on this, I respectfully suggest you look them up if you are interested in knowing more.

 

[Verisimilitude]

This is a typical problem for lots of people. The solution is to have a couple set questions in your head, questions that get them talking. I'd research deep diving. Here's a couple good articles that should help:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... st-ask-her
https://www.girlschase.com/content/secre ... -deep-dive
https://www.girlschase.com/content/conversationalist

Having a set plan will stop your mind from going blank. Eventually it will become second nature and you'll just do this automatically.

 

[Richard]

Native,

I've often seen this with friends who I coach - the problem they have is one you most likely have as well: Trying too hard to make yourself fun and attractive.

Basically, if you approach a girl trying to talk your way into making her attracted to you then you'll be focusing too hard on being relatable, and trying to relate to her instead of being yourself - I cannot stress this enough: You absolutely cannot talk your way into being attractive.

If your mind is going blank because you're trying to figure out what to bring up next to make yourself seem more fun or edgy or whatever it is you're trying to paint yourself as then you're approach this skill wrong, and it's time for a change my friend.

Work on your fundamentals first - I recommend smiling, eye contact, and tones of voice as starters. Then as you notice women around you starting to notice you more and more you'll know you're attractive and won't have to work on figuring out what to say next - it'll just be natural.

-Richard