My journey in Scandinavia

[murv]

Day 3 - newbie assigment
So the mission for today is eye contact.
So today i went to the park to walk around a little bit and practice eye contact.

Not gonna lie it was hard. Keeping eye contact with people is HUGE i realize.
I feel lots of social pressure though when keeping eye contact for more than 2 seconds.

I also notice that i feel uncomfortable with it. Its mostly social pressure though. I have to master this. I noticed that eye contact is quite alot, sometimes i am nonchalant and just keep looking away when talking to someone. But i have to stay with it, the uncomfortable feeling the pressure, to stay with it and not panicking.

Yes i realize i am panicking when keeping long eye contact, like i dont know what to do. Need to remain calm and collected.

The mission was like 10 people i needed to have eye contact with, i managed to get like 6.
One was a blonde woman with a cute dog, (she was cute too) was waiting for my tram and i smiled when i saw her dog then looked at her and she smiled back.
She then like stood beside me and like hoovered around me.
I know i should have said something but i did not know what to say.

So nothing happened and she went on her tram and leaved.

Like i guess i am lacking balls or something, i have to use these oppurtunities, the thing is i feel like i am disturbing them if i approach them, like i operate from a mindset that "she does not want to be approached", so i am leaving her alone. Its a stupid mindset i need to get over it.

Tl:dr eye contact today, went okay, realize its something i need to work on, being comfortable with it. Mentioned about a situation above and that i should have used that oppurtunity.

I guess i want to practice eye contact a couple of more days to just be more comfortable and see peoples reactions.

/ murv

 

[Water]

I think you need to be realistic with how many lays you are gon a get. It's been 7 years since I discovered cold approach and from thousands of reps, I've only got 1/2 a dozen or so flakey phone numbers. And from what I've read online, Scandinavia is even more antisocial than the UK. But you are less likely to face aggressive rejections than the UK, so there is that, I guess.

I think a goal of 2-5 lays is a good goal and see how you go on from there.

Is this a typo or you didn’t include all of your stats? 7 years, thousands of approaches, and 6 flakey phone numbers, I think you forgot to include the numbers that didn’t flake and the number of lays and dates if you kept count.

 

[Water]

I am born in sweden but parents are from south east europe, so not etnically swedish.

Yeah pretty hot girls here and its a shame if i dont get atleast 100 lays or something, before settling down to something... haha

/ murv

Fair goal, just make sure to keep up the effort and improve over time, good luck!

I’ve seriously thought about and considered moving to Sweden.

 

[murv]

Fair goal, just make sure to keep up the effort and improve over time, good luck!

I’ve seriously thought about and considered moving to Sweden.

Thanks! Not gonna lie, i feel grateful to live here, good country, little bit too calm but the girls are 20/10.

 

[average_daygamer]

Is this a typo or you didn’t include all of your stats? 7 years, thousands of approaches, and 6 flakey phone numbers, I think you forgot to include the numbers that didn’t flake and the number of lays and dates if you kept count.

It is not a typo. I am just an average guy, how could I expect any more. Girls in England are notoriously hard to lay.

 

[Teevster]

It is not a typo. I am just an average guy, how could I expect any more. Girls in England are notoriously hard to lay.

Yes you are an average guy. But that's why you are here. To cease being an average guy. It is a matter of peespective, and once you grasp this, it will be time for transformation.

-Teevster

 

[Teevster]

Yes you are an average guy. But that's why you are here. To cease being an average guy. It is a matter of peespective, and once you grasp this, it will be time for transformation.

-Teevster

Ps: it is not like many of us haven't had our fair share of english chicks, or picked up in england.

 

[murv]

These last two days have not been focused on eye contact, yesterday i got a new job offer ( a job i really wanted) and i said yes to it. So thats good momentum and positive for my life.

Today i have been stayed at home and continuing to study. I plan on reading some of eye contact articles on GS then go out tomorrow and do some practice.

Really need to stop getting uncomfortable with eye contact.

/murv

 

[Water]

These last two days have not been focused on eye contact, yesterday i got a new job offer ( a job i really wanted) and i said yes to it. So thats good momentum and positive for my life.

Today i have been stayed at home and continuing to study. I plan on reading some of eye contact articles on GS then go out tomorrow and do some practice.

Really need to stop getting uncomfortable with eye contact.

/murv

A simple exercise for this is when you’re walking around or such, try to initiate mutual eye contact with everyone you see, preferably attractive girls.

And just hold it until THEY look away.

 

[murv]

A simple exercise for this is when you’re walking around or such, try to initiate mutual eye contact with everyone you see, preferably attractive girls.

And just hold it until THEY look away.

Yes thats good advice, i will try to lock eye contact, i dont know i sort of get scared when its too long eye contact i guess its because im not used to it... well i will try what you said.

/murv

 

[Water]

Yes thats good advice, i will try to lock eye contact, i dont know i sort of get scared when its too long eye contact i guess its because im not used to it... well i will try what you said.

/murv

When I first started out, I had high social anxiety and had the same issue. Through a lot of effort my social freedom has improved greatly. It will feel awkward, you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone, and you will break eye contact first a lot when you first start doing this exercise, but you’ll gradually improve. Until you can consistently hold eye contact with strangers until they break it or until one of you walks out of view.

On another note, if a girl holds eye contact for a straight 5 seconds, you can smile and wave and probably approach.

 

[murv]

Day 3 still eye contact

So was working yesterday, i figured i practice some more eye contact with people there.

Managed to get reeaaally hot chicks to look at me all the time, those girls kept making eye contact with me while i was picking glasses and refilling the bar.

I kept eye contact with them longer than i usually do but the thing was that i dont know what to do after a long eye contact....

I dont know, i dont have a clue, i guess i go talk to them? But the thing is a am working?? Really confused here hahaha.

I also realize some guys really dont have a clue with girls and is talking to these really hot chicks??? I heard while picking glasses from a table that one guy offered the chicks his credit card to go buy whatever they want from the bar in the most approval seeking way. It sounded pathetic, what kind of loser wastes so much money to get approval from girls?!? I dont know though maybe he is rich.

Anyways after work i sat on bench waiting for transport home, then i got approached by some girl asking if she can sit by me.

I say sure, and she sits and starts asking me if i had a good night etc, she had some drinks obviously but she was not drunk you know. So we talk like yeah what you do etc etc, then i try to keep eye contact while in conversation and keep it not so often when she is looking away and talking, trying to match her level of eye contact.

So we keep talking for like 25 minutes i try to flirt with her and keep a sexual tone in conversation but she kinda is not reciprocating, maybe she is caitious to not look easy or something, i dont know. I have a hard time mantaining a aroused state for girls so that they can sense it and get turned by it. Like you know, if you are lusting she will lust too kinda of thing.

Maybe its because of all the porn i have consumed over the years, hate that shit really.

So she suggests we share a cab since we live in the same area, i say sure (its 2.30 at night), then she gets a phone call from a cousin who says is going to pick her up. So the cab thing dont happen. Anyways she starts to leave and says that we should trade contact information and i give her my snap, then she gives a hug and leaves.

My vibe man thats probably the main problem here, i mean what type of vibe do i need to have and how do i get a better vibe, thats the question...

Tl: dr - worked on eye contact at work, met a girl after work on the street waiting for transport. Talked a bit, got contact info but i need to work on my vibe i guess i dont know. I feel a bit confused.

/ murv

 

[OldGuy]

Sounds like you are ready to move on to next lesson. The woman who sat next to you showed a LOT of interest, even suggesting taking a cab home together.

 

[murv]

Sounds like you are ready to move on to next lesson. The woman who sat next to you showed a LOT of interest, even suggesting taking a cab home together.

Probably. Dont know i feel kinda stupid not knowing what to do, i guess the knowing comes with time + experience...

 

[murv]

Day 3 still eye contact

Been busy last days, but i have actively tried to work on my contact and it has improved, i keep like longer eye contact now, like 1 more second than usual. I will try to extend it to 2 more seconds than usual.

I keep reading the GS articles on eye contact and try to do learn even more about it.

So i will stay on this topic maybe for a week more untill i have read the articles and exercised eye contact even more. Then its time for next lesson.

/ murv