Hey Guys! Good to be here.
I've been a avid reader of the site for the past year and a half and I had an experience last night that drove me to finally decide start doing this for real, and going at it HARD.
I tried to keep this brief, but it's pretty long. Fasten your seatbelts, its been a bumpy road.
When I first came up on the site about a year and a half ago, my girlfriend of about a year had left me for another man. I was absolutely floored. It was the lowest point in my life and I had hit rock bottom. I was searching the web (as I believe many of us who have came upon this site have) for how to get a girl back. I came upon Chase's article and though I read through it, it had not convinced me yet that going out, adapting an abundance mentality, improving myself as a person, dating new women, etc., was the path I wanted to be on. I was still completely broken. Shattered. My ego torn to pieces. My confidence thrown out the window.
So after I read that article and decided it wasn't something I was ready to pursue yet, I began reading other articles on the site and everything I read turned how I viewed women in the past conpletely upside down. So I kept reading more and more and more.
As for my break up, I attempted to win my ex back many, many times. Begging her to take me back (literally crying and on my knees) and suffering through for another 4 months seeing her all the time. We both go to a very small performing arts school and lived in the dorms so we would see each other on a daily basis and that was completely unavoidable. Everybody's friends were everybody's friends so it was completely impossible to avoid her at all costs. And on top of this, her new boyfriend was in every SINGLE one of my classes for the rest of the spring semester (we had broken up in November 2012).
Then came the big moment for me. It was my 21st birthday in February 2013. I went out with some friends to the bar and I was quite drunk. At one point, through my drunken honesty with myself, I realized that I needed to start new. To completely change my life around and stop allowing another person or people or set of circumstances dictate my state of mind or the way I was living my life. So at one point during the night I raised my glass and made a toast. To great friends. To new beginnings. To the hardest 4 months of my life and to the path to create a new future for myself. To make the night even better, there was a cute girl along with our group that I ended up taking home that night. That night I had set things in motion to be the man I am today, and I'm still not even close to being done yet!
After that night I completely cut my ex out of my life as much as I could being in our confined environment. I blocked her on Facebook. I deleted all of her contact information out of my phone and put away every single thing that reminded me of her. I needed to do everything in my control to remove her from my life until I could get over her. The rest of that school year was hard with seeing my ex and her new man around all the time but I found myself focusing on improving my life. I began to focus on my career (I'm a musician so pouring myself into honing my craft was the perfect thing to put all of my energy into), my friends, and started to focus getting better with women. The year finished strong. I came back home for the summer after my junior year exhausted from the toil that I had been through. But, I felt fulfilled knowing that I had set something in motion for my life that will reap rewards down the road if I just kept my nose to the grindstone.
After a summer of not talking to or seeing my ex, my life improved dramatically. I spent the summer at a music festival in Colorado playing incredible music in a community of outstanding musicians, meeting wonderful friends, meeting tons of new women, and just overall having the most life changing summer imaginable. It seemed like life put a gift in my lap when the last night of the summer, the stars aligned and I ended up having a threesome with the two girls I had been sleeping with throughout the summer. It was as if destiny was saying "Thor, you've had one hell of a year and you've been working hard to get through this time in your life, here is your reward. Now keep on going!"
The following school year was difficult but with a lot of hard work I made it through. I didn't have the time or energy to be actively pursuing new women all the time because it was my senior year of college and I was completely focused on my playing and becoming the best musician I could become. I slept with maybe 3 girls throughout the course of the school year pretty much by chance through my social cirlcle and was not going out actively approaching or improving my skills with women.
It's now the summer and I've got the next few years of my life figured out. I'm starting graduate school in the fall and got a wondeful new position working at school for the time I'll be a student here. So, finally, after that long journey, I'm finally in a position that starting this summer I can really dig my efforts into getting better with women and honing in all of my social skills.
Since the beginning of June my friend and I have been going out to meet women. In bars, in clubs, and on the streets. I've had varying success but for me just getting out and approaching women, pushing through my anxiety, and getting out of my comfort zone have been the focus for me so far. However, after going out last night I realized that I really need to focus my efforts and work on improving things very specifically, one thing at a time.
The last few times going out for me have been a huge challenge. I have gone out with my friend usually 2 or 3 nights a week, 3 or 4 hours a night, and I have hardly been able to go up and talk to any women at all. I go out feeling extremely confident and excited. I feel I know exactly what I need to do. I see a girl, but when I start walking up to her my mind starts making up excuses. "She's gonna think you're weird!" "She's going to reject you!" " You're not going to have any idea what to say and it's going to be SUPER awkward." And with the reading I've done on approach and anxiety, I know this is all going to happen. I know that I'm going to be nervous and probably will make a fool out of myself. I know that I just need to keep going out and take the punches and roll with the rejection. But for some reason I haven't been able to get through that lately. So last night was the final straw.
My friend and been out for a while. I was feeling good and it was time to start approaching women. We had been to a few bars and weren't really liking the atmosphere or the crowd. So finally we walked into another place and looked around for a while. We went upstairs and my friend nagged the first girl he saw standing alone. I couldn't find anyone to approach so I walked back downstairs. When I pussed out 3 or 4 times down there I decided to walk back upstars and see how my friend was doing. When I walked upstairs I saw him. And the girl. Making out HARD against the wall. That was it for me. I was so excited for my buddy but it killed me that I could be that guy but for some reason I was holding myself back. That all it took was going up to a girl and talking to her and anything could happen. So I went back downstars and STILL couldn't get myself to approach. I saw my friend and this girl coming down and he told me he was going to head back to his place with her. I was proud of my friend and excited for him but I'd never been so bitter with myself and pissed off that I couldn't simply go talk to one of the hundreds of girls in our vicinity. So I took a cab back home and was absolutely fuming for a few hours. How could I not do something so simple? Why am I such a pussy that I can't do this?
So this is where my journey starts. I am using the disappointment and anger from last night as fuel to start something new again for myself. I'm a long way removed from my breakup but I know that if I can get through that and improve myself to where I am today, then I can keep on improving myself and eventually train and polish my social skills to be the best man I can be.
I am going to start a journal on the newbie assignment and complete it as soon as I can.
So here's to the journey ahead. Not just to all of the succeses, new people, and beautiful and fascinating women that I will bring into life, but to the pain, rejection, awkwardness, blood, sweat, and tears that it will take to get there.
Looking forward to becoming more of an integral part of this community guys! Glad to be here!
Cheers,
Thor
I've been a avid reader of the site for the past year and a half and I had an experience last night that drove me to finally decide start doing this for real, and going at it HARD.
I tried to keep this brief, but it's pretty long. Fasten your seatbelts, its been a bumpy road.
When I first came up on the site about a year and a half ago, my girlfriend of about a year had left me for another man. I was absolutely floored. It was the lowest point in my life and I had hit rock bottom. I was searching the web (as I believe many of us who have came upon this site have) for how to get a girl back. I came upon Chase's article and though I read through it, it had not convinced me yet that going out, adapting an abundance mentality, improving myself as a person, dating new women, etc., was the path I wanted to be on. I was still completely broken. Shattered. My ego torn to pieces. My confidence thrown out the window.
So after I read that article and decided it wasn't something I was ready to pursue yet, I began reading other articles on the site and everything I read turned how I viewed women in the past conpletely upside down. So I kept reading more and more and more.
As for my break up, I attempted to win my ex back many, many times. Begging her to take me back (literally crying and on my knees) and suffering through for another 4 months seeing her all the time. We both go to a very small performing arts school and lived in the dorms so we would see each other on a daily basis and that was completely unavoidable. Everybody's friends were everybody's friends so it was completely impossible to avoid her at all costs. And on top of this, her new boyfriend was in every SINGLE one of my classes for the rest of the spring semester (we had broken up in November 2012).
Then came the big moment for me. It was my 21st birthday in February 2013. I went out with some friends to the bar and I was quite drunk. At one point, through my drunken honesty with myself, I realized that I needed to start new. To completely change my life around and stop allowing another person or people or set of circumstances dictate my state of mind or the way I was living my life. So at one point during the night I raised my glass and made a toast. To great friends. To new beginnings. To the hardest 4 months of my life and to the path to create a new future for myself. To make the night even better, there was a cute girl along with our group that I ended up taking home that night. That night I had set things in motion to be the man I am today, and I'm still not even close to being done yet!
After that night I completely cut my ex out of my life as much as I could being in our confined environment. I blocked her on Facebook. I deleted all of her contact information out of my phone and put away every single thing that reminded me of her. I needed to do everything in my control to remove her from my life until I could get over her. The rest of that school year was hard with seeing my ex and her new man around all the time but I found myself focusing on improving my life. I began to focus on my career (I'm a musician so pouring myself into honing my craft was the perfect thing to put all of my energy into), my friends, and started to focus getting better with women. The year finished strong. I came back home for the summer after my junior year exhausted from the toil that I had been through. But, I felt fulfilled knowing that I had set something in motion for my life that will reap rewards down the road if I just kept my nose to the grindstone.
After a summer of not talking to or seeing my ex, my life improved dramatically. I spent the summer at a music festival in Colorado playing incredible music in a community of outstanding musicians, meeting wonderful friends, meeting tons of new women, and just overall having the most life changing summer imaginable. It seemed like life put a gift in my lap when the last night of the summer, the stars aligned and I ended up having a threesome with the two girls I had been sleeping with throughout the summer. It was as if destiny was saying "Thor, you've had one hell of a year and you've been working hard to get through this time in your life, here is your reward. Now keep on going!"
The following school year was difficult but with a lot of hard work I made it through. I didn't have the time or energy to be actively pursuing new women all the time because it was my senior year of college and I was completely focused on my playing and becoming the best musician I could become. I slept with maybe 3 girls throughout the course of the school year pretty much by chance through my social cirlcle and was not going out actively approaching or improving my skills with women.
It's now the summer and I've got the next few years of my life figured out. I'm starting graduate school in the fall and got a wondeful new position working at school for the time I'll be a student here. So, finally, after that long journey, I'm finally in a position that starting this summer I can really dig my efforts into getting better with women and honing in all of my social skills.
Since the beginning of June my friend and I have been going out to meet women. In bars, in clubs, and on the streets. I've had varying success but for me just getting out and approaching women, pushing through my anxiety, and getting out of my comfort zone have been the focus for me so far. However, after going out last night I realized that I really need to focus my efforts and work on improving things very specifically, one thing at a time.
The last few times going out for me have been a huge challenge. I have gone out with my friend usually 2 or 3 nights a week, 3 or 4 hours a night, and I have hardly been able to go up and talk to any women at all. I go out feeling extremely confident and excited. I feel I know exactly what I need to do. I see a girl, but when I start walking up to her my mind starts making up excuses. "She's gonna think you're weird!" "She's going to reject you!" " You're not going to have any idea what to say and it's going to be SUPER awkward." And with the reading I've done on approach and anxiety, I know this is all going to happen. I know that I'm going to be nervous and probably will make a fool out of myself. I know that I just need to keep going out and take the punches and roll with the rejection. But for some reason I haven't been able to get through that lately. So last night was the final straw.
My friend and been out for a while. I was feeling good and it was time to start approaching women. We had been to a few bars and weren't really liking the atmosphere or the crowd. So finally we walked into another place and looked around for a while. We went upstairs and my friend nagged the first girl he saw standing alone. I couldn't find anyone to approach so I walked back downstairs. When I pussed out 3 or 4 times down there I decided to walk back upstars and see how my friend was doing. When I walked upstairs I saw him. And the girl. Making out HARD against the wall. That was it for me. I was so excited for my buddy but it killed me that I could be that guy but for some reason I was holding myself back. That all it took was going up to a girl and talking to her and anything could happen. So I went back downstars and STILL couldn't get myself to approach. I saw my friend and this girl coming down and he told me he was going to head back to his place with her. I was proud of my friend and excited for him but I'd never been so bitter with myself and pissed off that I couldn't simply go talk to one of the hundreds of girls in our vicinity. So I took a cab back home and was absolutely fuming for a few hours. How could I not do something so simple? Why am I such a pussy that I can't do this?
So this is where my journey starts. I am using the disappointment and anger from last night as fuel to start something new again for myself. I'm a long way removed from my breakup but I know that if I can get through that and improve myself to where I am today, then I can keep on improving myself and eventually train and polish my social skills to be the best man I can be.
I am going to start a journal on the newbie assignment and complete it as soon as I can.
So here's to the journey ahead. Not just to all of the succeses, new people, and beautiful and fascinating women that I will bring into life, but to the pain, rejection, awkwardness, blood, sweat, and tears that it will take to get there.
Looking forward to becoming more of an integral part of this community guys! Glad to be here!
Cheers,
Thor
