Since I've finished college things have really gotten dull. I've ended up getting relocated to a village for work, that's 12 miles outside a nearby city. It has been a bit alienating going out there at nights. I've a few friends, but only one who's really possible to get a hold of. He's a Lithuanian in his early 20s. There'd be a slight language barrier and he's not great with the girls, but his attitude is great. He doesn't seem to mind being rejected at all.
Anyway, after an open mic, we both sort of spontaneously decided to head out for the night. It was great in that, it was just assumed that we were both out to get girls. I didn't even have to clarify it. Most other guys I know would just act like they're too cool to get together as a pair to hit on girls.
During the night, after these two girls (we were talking to) left us, I started commenting on which one I thought was hotter. Long story short he said something like "I like it when they're short cause then you can pretend you're f**king a 12 year old". After a pause I said "what?" which gave him the chance to say "just joking". I was in a busy environment, and since I guess it wasn't what I wanted to hear, I must have just blocked it out. I've no idea why he said it, he's definitely not dangerous or evil, but it just bloody well annoyed me that he had to say it. Everything was going great. I didn't really even have to get on with him, or have anything in common with him; but just to have someone there so it wouldn't feel so bloody alienating.
It wasn't until the next day that I actually remembered it, and said to myself "no, that was weird". He actually had to come by to collect something he left in my car that night, and I didn't like having to say it to him but I did. Told him I didn't like hearing it and I was confused why he mentioned it. He denied it and muttered some stuff while he avoiding eye contact. I couldn't really be sure if he actually didn't remember it - I don't drink after all. But I just needed to say it. I should have confronted him on the night. He didn't make contact with me after that, but after we happened cross paths and talked for a bit, he's since tried to make contact with me a few times suggesting we go out, but I fobbed him off. The thing is, since then I seem to have become more isolated.
Part of the reason it pisses me off so much is because I went out with different guy about a year back, who was a bit socially lacking, thinking to myself "the worst that could happen is that I might be seen with him, he's surely better than nobody!". But I could feel him watching me during the night and the next day he showed me a video he got of me dancing with this girl. Freaked me out! I felt so stupid for liking the fact that he looked up to me. So after that occurrence too, I don't want to end up being somebody who views things, that most people take for granted, as being too good to be true!
So could I get over this in order to use him as a companion... something to give me that extra bit of a sense of purpose. It's as if it's annoying me more just typing it. I feel like I'm sitting on a mountain of wisdom with less and less opportunities to use it.
Anyway, after an open mic, we both sort of spontaneously decided to head out for the night. It was great in that, it was just assumed that we were both out to get girls. I didn't even have to clarify it. Most other guys I know would just act like they're too cool to get together as a pair to hit on girls.
During the night, after these two girls (we were talking to) left us, I started commenting on which one I thought was hotter. Long story short he said something like "I like it when they're short cause then you can pretend you're f**king a 12 year old". After a pause I said "what?" which gave him the chance to say "just joking". I was in a busy environment, and since I guess it wasn't what I wanted to hear, I must have just blocked it out. I've no idea why he said it, he's definitely not dangerous or evil, but it just bloody well annoyed me that he had to say it. Everything was going great. I didn't really even have to get on with him, or have anything in common with him; but just to have someone there so it wouldn't feel so bloody alienating.
It wasn't until the next day that I actually remembered it, and said to myself "no, that was weird". He actually had to come by to collect something he left in my car that night, and I didn't like having to say it to him but I did. Told him I didn't like hearing it and I was confused why he mentioned it. He denied it and muttered some stuff while he avoiding eye contact. I couldn't really be sure if he actually didn't remember it - I don't drink after all. But I just needed to say it. I should have confronted him on the night. He didn't make contact with me after that, but after we happened cross paths and talked for a bit, he's since tried to make contact with me a few times suggesting we go out, but I fobbed him off. The thing is, since then I seem to have become more isolated.
Part of the reason it pisses me off so much is because I went out with different guy about a year back, who was a bit socially lacking, thinking to myself "the worst that could happen is that I might be seen with him, he's surely better than nobody!". But I could feel him watching me during the night and the next day he showed me a video he got of me dancing with this girl. Freaked me out! I felt so stupid for liking the fact that he looked up to me. So after that occurrence too, I don't want to end up being somebody who views things, that most people take for granted, as being too good to be true!
So could I get over this in order to use him as a companion... something to give me that extra bit of a sense of purpose. It's as if it's annoying me more just typing it. I feel like I'm sitting on a mountain of wisdom with less and less opportunities to use it.
