- Joined
- Aug 3, 2025
- Messages
- 186
HI everyone, this is my journal and an opportunity to update everyone on my breakup saga that I initially posted in early August this year.
Since mid August, there has been no contact between me and my ex for around 4 weeks, taking us to 10 September.
At that point I decided to break to contact and send her a simple “Hi, how are you? Are you in town?” text. I waited for 2 days, but no response from her, which was super unusual, given that she always replied super quickly, even for the first weeks of August post break up when we were still communicating. I could see she read them (2 green whatsapp ticks).
Then after 2 days of silence I sent her another message: ““Hi. I hope your health is ok? You didn’t reply to my message , which is very uncharacteristic of you. I’m concerned- for how you are and if everything is ok with yourself. I remember everything you said, and things that happened prior to it… We need to talk. I would like to invite you to meet me. No expectations . We both deserve this much. When are you free?”
Again, no response. Waited 2 more days. Nothing. I called her directly on the phone twice. She hang up. I immediately messaged “I was worried about you, and wanted to talk”.
She replied “Her: "I don't want to talk with you. Please leave me alone"
Me: "As you wish. I understand everything and what you needed. Think about my previous messages I wrote to you yesterday. I always cherished you and will cherish you unconditionally."
Her: "Thank you for understanding"
I was silent for a few several days. Then I decided to send her another message, again stating that I wanted to move in the same direction as her for the future and wanted an eye to eye with her to say some thing about what I wanted to offer her but didn’t get a chance to, and that I love and cherish her. Again silence.
I got sick of no responses. And I was left hurt and saddened by the fact that she’s gone so cold suddenly. So I called her on the phone again. No answer. Then she immediately texts "When are you gonna stop. I don't want to do this". I call her again. No answer. So I sent her two cute funny memes (she loves this stuff) and a couple of cute texts basically saying "I'd like to see you. Come on! "
She replied "Please don't do this. I said everything I needed to say". I tried calling her again twice. I really wanted her to pick up. And sent her a few more texts with another meme, urging her to meet me. No answer at first.
A while later, she texted back " Please respect my choice. I don't want to talk with you. And you are being very pushy. And it's disturbing."
At this point, I decided to finally stop and retreat. So the rest of the text exchange was:
Me: "Ok, I get it, I understand. I didn't mean to be pushy. I really wanted to say some things and that I know what things to fix in future. I will back off and respect you and give you as much time and space as you need. I sincerely promise that"
Her: "Thank you "
Me: "I wish to reassure you...That I am here for you and I hope to hear from you sometime later either way, no matter what you want for the future"
Her: "Thank you!"
Me: "Have a good evening".
This was around 17 September.
After this, there was no contact for a week. I decided to let her go for the moment. Then unexpectedly I bumped into her while doing daygame in her area. Was just taking a break by the supermarket around the corner when she walked by. We were both surprised. I am certain she thought I was specifically stalking her (she almost said it). Anyway, I said to her to come and take a walk with me.
She refused ("I don't want to talk, I just wanted to say hello" she said) and dived into the supermarket. I decided to wait for her to come out and approached her and tried to talk to her again. It was a mistake of course, as I should have just let her go.
To sum up, she wasn't giving me an inch basically. I managed to get to talk with her for a few mins, but in the end it all came down to her ignoring me and refusing to open up.
What I got out of her comes down to "No, No, No, I don't want to be with you. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. I don't want to message you. I did want to be with you before, but not anymore. We are too different. You seem to have your life sorted, I don't. I am looking for marriage ... but not with you. I hope you find someone suitable for you."
When we talked, at first it seemed like she had a lot of deep emotional pain in her eyes during the first mins or so when she was looking at me... almost as if she is going to cry or did cry already. Then this expression was gone and she was simply trying to end the conversation and walk away.
So this last encounter was around 12 days ago.
I remembered what she told me the very first night I met her in daygame and ended up in her bed: "You know you are gonna fuck me up, right?"
I also remembered what she said once just a few weeks before the break up, back in July one time when we were in bed together checking out various music on her laptop. She was scrolling through pictures of various artists and celebrities and was going “Hmm, which one should I marry? Hmm, not this one, he isn’t my type blah blah…”. I found this weird, and wanted to say “Why are you saying this in front of me?”, but just put it down to random chick talk back then. Around that time , she also said to me “I always thought I’d stay a virgin till I was married… People say losing virginity makes you mature, but I now realised it doesn’t haha”.
So now I am left hurt and bitter at her sudden coldness, lack of responsiveness, and that we both seemed to want the same thing - long term commitment, but she now is adamant in saying she doesn’t want it with me, despite originally wanting it…
It's like something happened to her in those 3-4 weeks of no contact we had and she closed off from me.. Maybe worse state of depression, insecurity, something else.. I also feel like she is simply unable to say what's really on her mind. Her excuse "we are too different... you have your life sorted.." - is bullshit, because she knows very well I have all sorts of difficulties and uncertainties...
Since mid August, there has been no contact between me and my ex for around 4 weeks, taking us to 10 September.
At that point I decided to break to contact and send her a simple “Hi, how are you? Are you in town?” text. I waited for 2 days, but no response from her, which was super unusual, given that she always replied super quickly, even for the first weeks of August post break up when we were still communicating. I could see she read them (2 green whatsapp ticks).
Then after 2 days of silence I sent her another message: ““Hi. I hope your health is ok? You didn’t reply to my message , which is very uncharacteristic of you. I’m concerned- for how you are and if everything is ok with yourself. I remember everything you said, and things that happened prior to it… We need to talk. I would like to invite you to meet me. No expectations . We both deserve this much. When are you free?”
Again, no response. Waited 2 more days. Nothing. I called her directly on the phone twice. She hang up. I immediately messaged “I was worried about you, and wanted to talk”.
She replied “Her: "I don't want to talk with you. Please leave me alone"
Me: "As you wish. I understand everything and what you needed. Think about my previous messages I wrote to you yesterday. I always cherished you and will cherish you unconditionally."
Her: "Thank you for understanding"
I was silent for a few several days. Then I decided to send her another message, again stating that I wanted to move in the same direction as her for the future and wanted an eye to eye with her to say some thing about what I wanted to offer her but didn’t get a chance to, and that I love and cherish her. Again silence.
I got sick of no responses. And I was left hurt and saddened by the fact that she’s gone so cold suddenly. So I called her on the phone again. No answer. Then she immediately texts "When are you gonna stop. I don't want to do this". I call her again. No answer. So I sent her two cute funny memes (she loves this stuff) and a couple of cute texts basically saying "I'd like to see you. Come on! "
She replied "Please don't do this. I said everything I needed to say". I tried calling her again twice. I really wanted her to pick up. And sent her a few more texts with another meme, urging her to meet me. No answer at first.
A while later, she texted back " Please respect my choice. I don't want to talk with you. And you are being very pushy. And it's disturbing."
At this point, I decided to finally stop and retreat. So the rest of the text exchange was:
Me: "Ok, I get it, I understand. I didn't mean to be pushy. I really wanted to say some things and that I know what things to fix in future. I will back off and respect you and give you as much time and space as you need. I sincerely promise that"
Her: "Thank you "
Me: "I wish to reassure you...That I am here for you and I hope to hear from you sometime later either way, no matter what you want for the future"
Her: "Thank you!"
Me: "Have a good evening".
This was around 17 September.
After this, there was no contact for a week. I decided to let her go for the moment. Then unexpectedly I bumped into her while doing daygame in her area. Was just taking a break by the supermarket around the corner when she walked by. We were both surprised. I am certain she thought I was specifically stalking her (she almost said it). Anyway, I said to her to come and take a walk with me.
She refused ("I don't want to talk, I just wanted to say hello" she said) and dived into the supermarket. I decided to wait for her to come out and approached her and tried to talk to her again. It was a mistake of course, as I should have just let her go.
To sum up, she wasn't giving me an inch basically. I managed to get to talk with her for a few mins, but in the end it all came down to her ignoring me and refusing to open up.
What I got out of her comes down to "No, No, No, I don't want to be with you. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. I don't want to message you. I did want to be with you before, but not anymore. We are too different. You seem to have your life sorted, I don't. I am looking for marriage ... but not with you. I hope you find someone suitable for you."
When we talked, at first it seemed like she had a lot of deep emotional pain in her eyes during the first mins or so when she was looking at me... almost as if she is going to cry or did cry already. Then this expression was gone and she was simply trying to end the conversation and walk away.
So this last encounter was around 12 days ago.
I remembered what she told me the very first night I met her in daygame and ended up in her bed: "You know you are gonna fuck me up, right?"
I also remembered what she said once just a few weeks before the break up, back in July one time when we were in bed together checking out various music on her laptop. She was scrolling through pictures of various artists and celebrities and was going “Hmm, which one should I marry? Hmm, not this one, he isn’t my type blah blah…”. I found this weird, and wanted to say “Why are you saying this in front of me?”, but just put it down to random chick talk back then. Around that time , she also said to me “I always thought I’d stay a virgin till I was married… People say losing virginity makes you mature, but I now realised it doesn’t haha”.
So now I am left hurt and bitter at her sudden coldness, lack of responsiveness, and that we both seemed to want the same thing - long term commitment, but she now is adamant in saying she doesn’t want it with me, despite originally wanting it…
It's like something happened to her in those 3-4 weeks of no contact we had and she closed off from me.. Maybe worse state of depression, insecurity, something else.. I also feel like she is simply unable to say what's really on her mind. Her excuse "we are too different... you have your life sorted.." - is bullshit, because she knows very well I have all sorts of difficulties and uncertainties...
Last edited:
