Hi guys, first post here. I could really do with some advise on how to get an ex girlfriend back? It's going to be long but I'll try put this as short as possible!
I'm from Ireland (26) living in Melbourne, Australia. A few months I met this Canadian girl (24) and we really hit it off.
Her plan was to come to Australia to travel around for a couple months and then head back to Canada to live.
So we started dating for about 6/7 weeks, everything was going great. Always had a great time together, always laughed, sex was unbelievable.....I had her chasing me hard!! She told me on numerous occasions I was the best sex she ever had and it made her sick that she was so insanely mad about me!!
Well after about the 7th week of dating, she was ment to go to the Gold Coast and spend 2.5 months there with her friend from Canada before going home. So we had a talk and she asked me did I want her to stay in Melbourne before she went home. I said it's her choice, yeah I'd like you to stay but you have to make that decision yourself. If you stay in Melbourne and things don't work out between us, I didn't want her resenting me for it. She had flight booked for the Gold Coast and decided to go up there to see her friend for 2 weeks and then come back to me.
The 2 weeks she was up there everything was going fine, she called me about 3 times a day, text me all the time telling me how much she missed me and couldn't wait to get back to me.
I didn't chase, I let her do it!!
She came back to Melbourne and we decided that she would move in with me until home. She only had a part time job, working 2 days a week. So I just made sense, for saving money and that!
She stayed for 8 weeks. Everything seemed to be going ok. Got on pretty well, had shit loads of sex!! 1 or 2 tiny arguments over something small, nothing major!
Now I have a full time job, work 8 hours a day and go the gym 4/5 nights a week for about 1.5 hours.
After about the 3rd week of her living with me, 1 of my ex girlfriends started contacting me. I never responded to my ex and assured the Canadian it was over with my ex. The Canadian kept telling me to answer my ex and find out what she wanted, but I wouldn't do as I thought if I answer my ex it was opening a window for her and she would just call more and more. So I blocked my exs number to prove to the Canadian I didn't want anything to do with her.
I could tell she was pissed about it but I didn't want anything to do with my ex.
About a week later we went out for 1 of my friends birthdays and the Canadian asked me what are we?
Like are we official or what? I said yeah if she wanted to be! So basically she asked me to be her boyfriend!!!
The rest of the time she was here everything went fine, only for 1 more argument. Another 1 of my friends birthdays came up about 5 days before she went home. I didn't go to the party because I kinda hurt my back and didn't feel up to it.
So the Canadian went with a few of my other friends and I stayed at home. I felt bad for not going as it was 1 of her last nights here. I got changed and ready to go, then she texts me asking me to collect her, she wants to go home.
I collected her and we had a bit of an argument over it on the way home but everything was fine when by the time we got back to my house.
A couple more days go by and it's 1 of her last nights here. We had the chat about what's going to happen when she's goes back. She said she wants to do long distance and wants to come back to Australia in a few months to be with me. She told me then she loved me. I told her I loved her too.
She had a few weddings to go to in Canada, her sister was having a baby and was going to come back when they were done. She asked me would I go visit her and we could fly back to Australia together, I said yeah. I've always wanted to visit canada as I have friends living there and I always thought about moving there sometime next year as it's closer to home and could visit family more than once a year! So we made plans for me to go over in about 3 months and her to come back. I couldn't go over sooner as my lease was nearly up, I had to move house, buy new furniture, and couldn't get the time off work as other employes were on annual leave and my boss wouldn't give me the time until they got back.
So she goes home. Everything was fine for the 5/6 weeks. Talked every day. Calls, text, Skype. Every morning I would wake up with messages saying how much she misses me, cant wait to be together again, can't wait for me to fuck her again, all that!!
1 night she goes out with a bunch of her friends and she text me when she got home. Saying she is feels abit insecure about this relationship, what if it doesn't work, there's a lot of pressure on her, saying she needs to know why I love her??
I was on the way to meet a few friends when she sent this. So I went mad sayin why are you bringing this shit up now and there was a bit of an argument over it. She went to sleep and I went out. The next morning I wake up with a text off her apologising for bringing it up when she did, she should have waited until later and she doesn't think she wants to come back to Australia. So I called her and we kind of talked about it and she just said she doesn't think she wants to come back because it's holding her back from what she wants to do at home. She wants to start a carrier, buy a house I the next couple years and coming back here is only putting that on hold. I couldn't say much as her sisters baby was due the next day and I didn't want to stress her out, so I decided to leave it for a few days.
So the next couple days everything is fine and I decided to send her flowers and a message telling her everything will fine with us, why I loved her and I want to be with her no matter what. She said that it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her and she still wants to be together. I could visit, see how it goes and if things work out I'd move to be with her.
A couple more days go by and then she starts acting cold with me? No more messages in the morning, short messages whenever she did txt. I asked was everything ok and she just said she been busy with work, helping her sister with the baby and helping her friends with weddings. So I played it cool for a while and just pretended it was fine, I understood.
Then I when she started talking to me more I told her I wanted to book flights to see her and book the time off work. She told not to book anything yet. She doesn't know how she feels about me coming over. She was saying what if things don't work out when I come over, what if I don't get on with her family and friends, all that short of shit!!
I just kept telling her it will be fine and we decided to leave it a few days.
A few days go by and we talk about it again, she says she doesn't know if she loves me. She feels she needs to know if she loves me before I spend all the money on a flight to come see her. I told her the only way she will know if she loves me is if I come over to see her. So again she asks me to give her time!
We just keep talking as normal for the next week or 2. Then 1 night she went out with her friends from work, rings me when she gets home, drunk, telling me how much she loves me and she wants this relationship to work out more than anything. She just nervous about me coming over because it's such a big deal. I assured her everything will be fine that's just her nerves getting in the way.
Next night she goes out with again with her friends for a bachelorette party. Gets hammered and drunk calls me again when she gets home saying all the same things as the night before!!
3rd night she goes out with family, has a few too many and calls me again! This time I didn't pick up because I presumed it was going to the same conversation as the 2 previous nights.
So a couple days later we skyped and I asked her about going to see her. We made plans of what we were going to do while I was there and how long I was going to visit for. She couldn't give me a date as she wanted to check with her parents if it was ok for me to come around the time we talked about. I understood that as she still lives with her parents and didn't want me arriving at there door without them knowing I was going be staying there. So she asked me to give her 48hours to sort everything out.
48 hours later I hadn't heard from her, so I txt her saying I want to book these flights. She replied with I don't think it's best if you come here!
I called her and she basically said she thought about it a lot and her feelings have changed!!
I kinda understood this as we knew long distance is hard and because I'm not there, she can't see me, touch me, smell me her feelings are going to start changing. But when I got there all the feelings she had for me would come back. I tried explain this to her. But she just said she doesn't feel excited about me coming anymore, mabey she's stressed out about it all and with her friends wedding coming up she was stressed about that too.
So again I left it for a few days. She went to her friends wedding that weekend. I didn't hear from her all weekend and I text her on Monday asking her what's going on? She replied with she doesn't want to do this anymore.
So then I basically begged her not to finish this yet, wait until I get over and see how she really feels. I know it's unattractive begging but I thought if I could convince her for me to come everything would be fine. She didn't really give me much of an answer. A couple days go by and we Skype for about 2 hours, everything was fine, just talked like normal and laughed. And the end of the Skype I asked what's happening with us and she said she thinks it's over and doesn't want this anymore. So I just said fine and left it at that. So I left her for a week.
After I week I txt her asking her how she's doing, haven't heard from her in a week, just checking to see if she's ok. She replied with a txt saying she needs to talk, she has something to tell me. I rang her straight away and she just it's done, she thought about the relationship over the week and doesn't want to do it anymore. Again I said its fine.
A couple days go by and she puts a picture on Facebook with some guy, saying my hot date!! I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't know who he is and for all I knew he could of just been 1 of her gay friends and the pic was put up as a joke!
A couple days go by and I decided to call her. We talked for a while and I said I'm going to book flights to go visit her, if she really wants to know how she feels about me she will be at the airport when I arrive, if she's not there I'll understand and I'll just go visit a few friends for a few days and the return to Australia. She went mad saying she doesn't want me here, don't bother getting on the plain. And again I begged her to give me this chance, if it doesn't workout there will be no hard feelings.
Then she says me to hold on, puts the phone down for a minute and comes back. I asked her what she had to do there and she said she was saying goodbye to her new boyfriend!!!! I was shocked when she said this, I couldn't believe it. I asked was he the guy in the picture and she said yeah! She's been hanging out with him, going for coffee, just talking with him for about 3 weeks but nothing has happened with him as she was still with me.
I went mad, called her a fat tramp and a slut. Hung up the phone. I never ment 1 word of it, I only said it because of the moment, finding that out broke my heart.
I felt terrible for what I said, I never ment a word of it, so the next day a sent her a txt saying I was sorry for the way I spoke to her. She blocked me straight away on Facebook and 3 days later txt me back saying she never wants to talk to me again, she'll never forget the day I called her what I did. I just sent her another message saying sorry, I never ment it, I do love her, I only said it out of frustration and anger. She never replied.
A couple days go by and I tried calling her a couple times, which she didn't answer. So I left her a voice mail asking her to call me, I just wanted to say sorry. Nothing off her.
Last weekend I went out with a few friends and I tried calling her when I was drunk. She never picked up and just sent me a txt saying leave her alone. So I sent a couple more saying I was only calling to apologise nothing more, and then saying she didn't have to treat me like shit when I treated her like a princess from day 1!
She replied saying I never treated her right, I always made her feel like shit. Saying I used to leave here at home for 8 hours a day (that's because I was at work), when I got home from work I'd run back out the door to go the gym (that's because I wanted to stay fit) and I always used to obsess over my ex (which I never did, when I met the Canadian I cut all contact with my ex and put her first). I have no idea where any of that came from.
Well here's the thing!! I want her back, I want her back bad!! I really do love her and can't stop thinking about her.
Is the guy she is dating now a rebound? Should I think because she was hanging out with this guy she was cheating on me? He doesn't seen like her type from what she told me her type is, only thing is he has money! Owns his own house, has a holiday home in Florida, has a big boat. Money can only bring you so much happiness right? He stole her from me because I wasn't there, if we lived closer and could get over sooner to visit, I truly believe we would be still together!
I know she's prob not going to come back to Australia any time soon. But like I said I'm thinking of moving to canada. Im moving back to Ireland around December for about 3 months and from there I'm going to apply for a work visa for Canada.
What I'm thinking of doing is going no contact with her for a few months, when it comes to her birthday at the end of November I'll send her a small present and a card. By this time hopefully she would be over what I said to her and she might contact me. Then if I end up moving to canada and feel like I want her back I would either try contact her to meet up with me for coffee or lunch and see where it goes, or drive to her home town and just walk into the bar she works in?
Hopefully then the feelings she had for me would come back.
If someone has some advise or thoughts please help!!!!
Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading.
I'm from Ireland (26) living in Melbourne, Australia. A few months I met this Canadian girl (24) and we really hit it off.
Her plan was to come to Australia to travel around for a couple months and then head back to Canada to live.
So we started dating for about 6/7 weeks, everything was going great. Always had a great time together, always laughed, sex was unbelievable.....I had her chasing me hard!! She told me on numerous occasions I was the best sex she ever had and it made her sick that she was so insanely mad about me!!
Well after about the 7th week of dating, she was ment to go to the Gold Coast and spend 2.5 months there with her friend from Canada before going home. So we had a talk and she asked me did I want her to stay in Melbourne before she went home. I said it's her choice, yeah I'd like you to stay but you have to make that decision yourself. If you stay in Melbourne and things don't work out between us, I didn't want her resenting me for it. She had flight booked for the Gold Coast and decided to go up there to see her friend for 2 weeks and then come back to me.
The 2 weeks she was up there everything was going fine, she called me about 3 times a day, text me all the time telling me how much she missed me and couldn't wait to get back to me.
I didn't chase, I let her do it!!
She came back to Melbourne and we decided that she would move in with me until home. She only had a part time job, working 2 days a week. So I just made sense, for saving money and that!
She stayed for 8 weeks. Everything seemed to be going ok. Got on pretty well, had shit loads of sex!! 1 or 2 tiny arguments over something small, nothing major!
Now I have a full time job, work 8 hours a day and go the gym 4/5 nights a week for about 1.5 hours.
After about the 3rd week of her living with me, 1 of my ex girlfriends started contacting me. I never responded to my ex and assured the Canadian it was over with my ex. The Canadian kept telling me to answer my ex and find out what she wanted, but I wouldn't do as I thought if I answer my ex it was opening a window for her and she would just call more and more. So I blocked my exs number to prove to the Canadian I didn't want anything to do with her.
I could tell she was pissed about it but I didn't want anything to do with my ex.
About a week later we went out for 1 of my friends birthdays and the Canadian asked me what are we?
Like are we official or what? I said yeah if she wanted to be! So basically she asked me to be her boyfriend!!!
The rest of the time she was here everything went fine, only for 1 more argument. Another 1 of my friends birthdays came up about 5 days before she went home. I didn't go to the party because I kinda hurt my back and didn't feel up to it.
So the Canadian went with a few of my other friends and I stayed at home. I felt bad for not going as it was 1 of her last nights here. I got changed and ready to go, then she texts me asking me to collect her, she wants to go home.
I collected her and we had a bit of an argument over it on the way home but everything was fine when by the time we got back to my house.
A couple more days go by and it's 1 of her last nights here. We had the chat about what's going to happen when she's goes back. She said she wants to do long distance and wants to come back to Australia in a few months to be with me. She told me then she loved me. I told her I loved her too.
She had a few weddings to go to in Canada, her sister was having a baby and was going to come back when they were done. She asked me would I go visit her and we could fly back to Australia together, I said yeah. I've always wanted to visit canada as I have friends living there and I always thought about moving there sometime next year as it's closer to home and could visit family more than once a year! So we made plans for me to go over in about 3 months and her to come back. I couldn't go over sooner as my lease was nearly up, I had to move house, buy new furniture, and couldn't get the time off work as other employes were on annual leave and my boss wouldn't give me the time until they got back.
So she goes home. Everything was fine for the 5/6 weeks. Talked every day. Calls, text, Skype. Every morning I would wake up with messages saying how much she misses me, cant wait to be together again, can't wait for me to fuck her again, all that!!
1 night she goes out with a bunch of her friends and she text me when she got home. Saying she is feels abit insecure about this relationship, what if it doesn't work, there's a lot of pressure on her, saying she needs to know why I love her??
I was on the way to meet a few friends when she sent this. So I went mad sayin why are you bringing this shit up now and there was a bit of an argument over it. She went to sleep and I went out. The next morning I wake up with a text off her apologising for bringing it up when she did, she should have waited until later and she doesn't think she wants to come back to Australia. So I called her and we kind of talked about it and she just said she doesn't think she wants to come back because it's holding her back from what she wants to do at home. She wants to start a carrier, buy a house I the next couple years and coming back here is only putting that on hold. I couldn't say much as her sisters baby was due the next day and I didn't want to stress her out, so I decided to leave it for a few days.
So the next couple days everything is fine and I decided to send her flowers and a message telling her everything will fine with us, why I loved her and I want to be with her no matter what. She said that it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her and she still wants to be together. I could visit, see how it goes and if things work out I'd move to be with her.
A couple more days go by and then she starts acting cold with me? No more messages in the morning, short messages whenever she did txt. I asked was everything ok and she just said she been busy with work, helping her sister with the baby and helping her friends with weddings. So I played it cool for a while and just pretended it was fine, I understood.
Then I when she started talking to me more I told her I wanted to book flights to see her and book the time off work. She told not to book anything yet. She doesn't know how she feels about me coming over. She was saying what if things don't work out when I come over, what if I don't get on with her family and friends, all that short of shit!!
I just kept telling her it will be fine and we decided to leave it a few days.
A few days go by and we talk about it again, she says she doesn't know if she loves me. She feels she needs to know if she loves me before I spend all the money on a flight to come see her. I told her the only way she will know if she loves me is if I come over to see her. So again she asks me to give her time!
We just keep talking as normal for the next week or 2. Then 1 night she went out with her friends from work, rings me when she gets home, drunk, telling me how much she loves me and she wants this relationship to work out more than anything. She just nervous about me coming over because it's such a big deal. I assured her everything will be fine that's just her nerves getting in the way.
Next night she goes out with again with her friends for a bachelorette party. Gets hammered and drunk calls me again when she gets home saying all the same things as the night before!!
3rd night she goes out with family, has a few too many and calls me again! This time I didn't pick up because I presumed it was going to the same conversation as the 2 previous nights.
So a couple days later we skyped and I asked her about going to see her. We made plans of what we were going to do while I was there and how long I was going to visit for. She couldn't give me a date as she wanted to check with her parents if it was ok for me to come around the time we talked about. I understood that as she still lives with her parents and didn't want me arriving at there door without them knowing I was going be staying there. So she asked me to give her 48hours to sort everything out.
48 hours later I hadn't heard from her, so I txt her saying I want to book these flights. She replied with I don't think it's best if you come here!
I called her and she basically said she thought about it a lot and her feelings have changed!!
I kinda understood this as we knew long distance is hard and because I'm not there, she can't see me, touch me, smell me her feelings are going to start changing. But when I got there all the feelings she had for me would come back. I tried explain this to her. But she just said she doesn't feel excited about me coming anymore, mabey she's stressed out about it all and with her friends wedding coming up she was stressed about that too.
So again I left it for a few days. She went to her friends wedding that weekend. I didn't hear from her all weekend and I text her on Monday asking her what's going on? She replied with she doesn't want to do this anymore.
So then I basically begged her not to finish this yet, wait until I get over and see how she really feels. I know it's unattractive begging but I thought if I could convince her for me to come everything would be fine. She didn't really give me much of an answer. A couple days go by and we Skype for about 2 hours, everything was fine, just talked like normal and laughed. And the end of the Skype I asked what's happening with us and she said she thinks it's over and doesn't want this anymore. So I just said fine and left it at that. So I left her for a week.
After I week I txt her asking her how she's doing, haven't heard from her in a week, just checking to see if she's ok. She replied with a txt saying she needs to talk, she has something to tell me. I rang her straight away and she just it's done, she thought about the relationship over the week and doesn't want to do it anymore. Again I said its fine.
A couple days go by and she puts a picture on Facebook with some guy, saying my hot date!! I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't know who he is and for all I knew he could of just been 1 of her gay friends and the pic was put up as a joke!
A couple days go by and I decided to call her. We talked for a while and I said I'm going to book flights to go visit her, if she really wants to know how she feels about me she will be at the airport when I arrive, if she's not there I'll understand and I'll just go visit a few friends for a few days and the return to Australia. She went mad saying she doesn't want me here, don't bother getting on the plain. And again I begged her to give me this chance, if it doesn't workout there will be no hard feelings.
Then she says me to hold on, puts the phone down for a minute and comes back. I asked her what she had to do there and she said she was saying goodbye to her new boyfriend!!!! I was shocked when she said this, I couldn't believe it. I asked was he the guy in the picture and she said yeah! She's been hanging out with him, going for coffee, just talking with him for about 3 weeks but nothing has happened with him as she was still with me.
I went mad, called her a fat tramp and a slut. Hung up the phone. I never ment 1 word of it, I only said it because of the moment, finding that out broke my heart.
I felt terrible for what I said, I never ment a word of it, so the next day a sent her a txt saying I was sorry for the way I spoke to her. She blocked me straight away on Facebook and 3 days later txt me back saying she never wants to talk to me again, she'll never forget the day I called her what I did. I just sent her another message saying sorry, I never ment it, I do love her, I only said it out of frustration and anger. She never replied.
A couple days go by and I tried calling her a couple times, which she didn't answer. So I left her a voice mail asking her to call me, I just wanted to say sorry. Nothing off her.
Last weekend I went out with a few friends and I tried calling her when I was drunk. She never picked up and just sent me a txt saying leave her alone. So I sent a couple more saying I was only calling to apologise nothing more, and then saying she didn't have to treat me like shit when I treated her like a princess from day 1!
She replied saying I never treated her right, I always made her feel like shit. Saying I used to leave here at home for 8 hours a day (that's because I was at work), when I got home from work I'd run back out the door to go the gym (that's because I wanted to stay fit) and I always used to obsess over my ex (which I never did, when I met the Canadian I cut all contact with my ex and put her first). I have no idea where any of that came from.
Well here's the thing!! I want her back, I want her back bad!! I really do love her and can't stop thinking about her.
Is the guy she is dating now a rebound? Should I think because she was hanging out with this guy she was cheating on me? He doesn't seen like her type from what she told me her type is, only thing is he has money! Owns his own house, has a holiday home in Florida, has a big boat. Money can only bring you so much happiness right? He stole her from me because I wasn't there, if we lived closer and could get over sooner to visit, I truly believe we would be still together!
I know she's prob not going to come back to Australia any time soon. But like I said I'm thinking of moving to canada. Im moving back to Ireland around December for about 3 months and from there I'm going to apply for a work visa for Canada.
What I'm thinking of doing is going no contact with her for a few months, when it comes to her birthday at the end of November I'll send her a small present and a card. By this time hopefully she would be over what I said to her and she might contact me. Then if I end up moving to canada and feel like I want her back I would either try contact her to meet up with me for coffee or lunch and see where it goes, or drive to her home town and just walk into the bar she works in?
Hopefully then the feelings she had for me would come back.
If someone has some advise or thoughts please help!!!!
Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading.
