Need girl advice! urgent

[quickcharge]

Hey everyone I have been going out with this girl for a month now and I was basically her first and she was the first girl I had feelings for. Real genuine feelings for her.... Friday she told me she was afraid of commitment and that she couldn't be with me anymore cause she didn't want to hurt me. She is attached to me and has feelings for me but she does not go out of her way to text me or anything. It is a very weird feelings, my heart was broken when she told me this because I really cared for her and texted her all the time. Saw her twice a week and really let nothing bad happen to her. We text now and I told her how I feel about her.. I opened up to her in a way that I can't imagine doing to myself. I feel I can tell her anything. She wants to be "friends" but I really want her? Is that jealousy because I can't picture her with another guy it probably would kill me. She has a past of being "easy" she has given a BJ before she even kissed a guy. I was her first kiss, and I also was the only one she has ever taken her clothes of with. I did everything with her besides sex...

This friday she is going to a party and wants me to come so we can talk and have fun? What can I do to get her back? I really want to fuck her so she gets attached to me? Please tell me the best advice. I told her I have something on my chest that is bothering me but I don't have the courage to say it. I want to tell her that I really want her(i really want to fuck her, so she can be mine). She thinks we rushed into a relationship.. any advice help a lost soul out.

cheers

 

[quickcharge]

bump really looking for some input from others

 

[Tyme2k]

Well Quickcharge, be glad you stumbled accross pickup and this forum. You now have the ability to unplug yourself fromt that chode matrix you clearly are a part of, as long as you accept it.

Based on my experience and experience of many other men, you have ruined your chances with this girl. There would be a slight chance that you may be able to pull something off, but with your current mentality it WILL NOT happen.

There is no fix all answer to this dilema.

Let's start with what you have done wrong:

You conveyed extreme amounts of emotion
You showed you have no other options
Constantly texted and chased her
Did not build intrigue to keep her interested
Tried to tell her how you feel about her despite her not wanting a relationship
You feel you can tell her anything.. just as a "FRIEND" would! Not a Lover!
You continue to pursue despite her attempts to separate from you
You want to convey with words that you "really want her"
FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS, you wrote it 6 times and 11 other forms of this. A total of 17 times mentioning irrational feelings in about 15 sentances??

Now let's take a look at the obvious:

She doesn't text you
She is "afraid of commitment" in other words, not ready to commit to YOU right NOW
YOU text her all the time
She gave a BJ before kissing... cmon bro stop being delusional
She invited you to a party as a friend because you validate her and make her feel important
You really want to fuck her

In this interaction you are clearly pursuing a girl that DOESN'T want you. have you ever heard the saying "we want what we cant have" which explains why you want her sooooo bad and why she doesn't want you.

Your only chance here is to STOP PURSUING. If you go to this party, take away any emotion, feelings, pursuing, interest, everything. Talk to OTHER girls at the party with intentions of fucking THEM. If this girl has any interest in you she will come to you. If she does then use physical escalation and isolate her. Don't ever tell her any of your feelings. You want her to wonder if you like her or not. I would even go as far as saying, "we could never be a couple" "there's never going to be anything between us" "you have no chance with me" these are one liners I use with girls I FUCK.

To get this girl you have to not want her. It's the only way. In the meantime you must sense abundance and talk to as many other girls as possible. However, I feel I have wasted time with this post.. I feel you are too far in the deep end of lust and will be blinded to any sort of rational feedback. You will only learn once you fuck it up completely, but fortunately you can always come back here and learn how to be a mother fucking pimp.

Good luck, I hope you're able to find yourself as a man.

 

[quickcharge]

thanks bro, I read that post a couple of times. So how do I act around her she texts me all the time now but like I must start the conversation. She wants to be friends and then maybe build up to a relationship. She told me we should of stayed friends for a bit before we rushed into a relationship. She does not want to hurt my feelings apparently, she doesn't want to lose me...

I am just lost but man what you said all makes sense, I'm a really soft guy in the inside I need to be converted into a pimp!

A bit about me, I have a amazing body most girls say, shy personality, but really nice guy. I am afraid to talk to most "hot girls".....

Okay so if I attend this party do I talk to her, or wait and see if she wants to talk to me?

 

[Tyme2k]

You're looking for specifics here and I can't really give those to you. The word I'm thinking here is "aloof". You want to be aloof about her, don't engage unless engaged, don't seek her out, don't divulge anything unessesary.

You will learn a lot more about girls in due time, a myth I can debunk for you right now "She told me we should of stayed friends for a bit before we rushed into a relationship" this is COMPLETELY untrue. Girls want to be seduced and given sex as soon as possible. Girls that I slept with on the first date literally FALL IN LOVE WITH ME. Girls I fail to sleep with quickly eventually reject me. This is complete FACT and anyone here will tell you their most fulfilling relationships started this way. If they ever courted a girl for a long time they will tell you it was never as fulfilling and ended in a disappointing way.

Stop thinking about this girl so much and go get out of your "shy" mentality. If you already naturally have your fundamentals like posture, style, eye contact, taking that next step into boosting your tonality and stepping out of your comfort zone should come easily. Remember you are not this label unless you feel like that's how you really want to be. If you want to be able to hold a conversation with anyone, that's who you really are.

Go up to the next 10 girls you see and start conversation with them, if you think you like some get their number and go on a date. Even after the first 10 you will learn some things about yourself you never knew.

 

[quickcharge]

Fuck you are right! I'm a little pussy hooked on some girl that doesn't even like me. Its just this girl was hurt before maybe that's why she acts this way? Man fuck it is so hard to forget about her. Fuck my life.. I have been so depressed lately it sucks. Tyme2k thanks for all the input and advice man I will see what happens Friday, if she wants me then she wants me if she doesn't I will remove her from my life.. It just sucks being lonely and not having someone to talk to

 

[Tyme2k]

Just be glad you found the pickup community, the guys on this site are some of the best guys in the community. Chase has great insights. This community is huge and if you want to become more "icy" check out rsdnation. RSD Tyler is the iciest pickup artist in the world.

Other than that start approaching more girls, this is the best way you can get her out of your head. Make it fun, believe me it is!

 

[Clout]

...if she wants me then she wants me if she doesn't I will remove her from my life..

This to me sounds like you still have hope and you are not taking charge (she has the control...she has also made it clear)

It just sucks being lonely and not having someone to talk to

This is the present, the future is up to you. "If it's to be, it's up to me"...you can get whatever you want in this world, it is not free, you don't deserve it and it takes a lot of hard hard work. How bad do you want it?

Welcome to a new way of viewing the world mate, it's a lot of fun if you so choose.

 

[Dunking Style]

Hi Quickcharge, welcome to the GC community!

I was in your shoes before..and it felt like shit. I suggest you read all the articles on the main site. Chase explains what a girl is thinking during a lot of interactions..and it surprisingly..makes sense. It has helped me(and everyone on GC) improve and enjoy interactions with girls knowing I'm in the driver's seats and know exactly what's going on.

Now..as mentioned already..you are wayyy too needy in these interactions.
Texting her all the time..and having to start the conversation.. is terrible.
This tells her that:
1. She has you "in the bag" (which isn't very exciting at all)
2. She's your only choice (you APPEAR so undesirable that you've got no other options for mating..and have to beg a girl for it)
3. She's got one extra nice guy around..in addition to the 10 other dudes that texts her and does the same nice things for her (she knows she's very desirable..and will almost always get the guy she wants..but JUST IN CASE it doesn't..she has 10 other guys lining up to get together with her)

Now..I don't always agree with Tyme..but I fully agree with him here that telling her "you want to fuck her"..will reek of desperation, put her in the driver's seat completely, and kill off any slim chance left of getting her.
Just imagine this. You're going to watch the hottest movie of the year with some friends..and someone tells you everything that happens in the movie even before you've seen it yourself. Now that you know the storyline and what happens..would you still find the movie exciting? Maybe..but it would have been even more exciting had you not known what was going to happen.

These are just my honest opinion and breakdown of what went wrong..and it's not meant to offend you or anyone else. If anything..I want to congratulate you for striving to improve yourself! You're definitely in good hands over here!
Goodluck!

 

[quickcharge]

ya you guys all give great advice. I know what I did wrong, I showed her my insecurities to quickly I basically showed her that I need her. I thought girls might like that but I guess not, it sucks you can't be yourself around girls. You are right that she is in the driver's seat and she is controlling me basically.

So next time if I ever meet a girl that I really like how do I go about treating her so she wants me, constantly texts me and shit? Basically wants to be on my dick...

I always told myself fuck relationships and just use girls but turns out I'm not that type of guy, and now I know what people mean when nice guys finish last. This community is great thanks for the input.

You guys really know why I want this girl so badly? because shes a virgin! pure pure pure never stuck anything up in her hole. I broke her cherry, I am not a virgin.

I just cannot imagine another guy taking her virginity, and guys I really need help on this one! Do you think I can become friends with benefits with this girl? I have a chance of asking her this friday in person or is that to soon? How do I go about even bringing that up?

 

[Vash]

Virginity doesn't mean a thing, and it really shouldn't matter to you. If you're attracted to a girl and she's the right fit for you, you're not gonna care whether she's a virgin or not. Same goes for the other way around if she doesn't like you. She doesn't want you, she has options, she wants to keep you in her circle of man friends while you want something more. Forget the fact that she's a virgin & forget about her ass. If she's giving BJ's to random dudes, it's not gonna stay that way for long anyway, so it doesn't make a difference.

 

[quickcharge]

it was just a random guy and she said the only reason she did it is because he was telling her about his family issues and she felt bad. I want to know how I can fix this? There is always a chance and I really really want to fix this... Continue being friends with her? ignore her see if she responds by herself? what tell me what I can do to fix it. Please don't say there is nothing to do there is always something to try..

 

[Franco]

This post has been moved from the "General" board to the "Beginners" board.

 

[Vash]

it was just a random guy and she said the only reason she did it is because he was telling her about his family issues and she felt bad. I want to know how I can fix this? There is always a chance and I really really want to fix this... Continue being friends with her? ignore her see if she responds by herself? what tell me what I can do to fix it. Please don't say there is nothing to do there is always something to try..

You can try to "fix" all you want, there's really nothing any of us can do to stop you. But as most of the guys here can tell you from their experiences as well as experiences they've seen from other people, heck, even my own experience, fixing a relationship that you messed up on really isn't worth it. All that time you could be taking trying to patch things up with her could be used meeting other girls who are actually interested in you. It's just faster to start over, man. I've been through it myself, and I don't want to see you go through it.

But... again, the end of the day, it's your call man. You do what you makes you happy.

 

[Dunking Style]

She wanted some sex early on while she was still attracted to you..but you didn't deliver. One month on(and close to 10 dates), you guys still didn't "become lovers".

These are the signs of fading attraction I see from the interaction:
- She wants to be friends now
- She doesn't want to commit to you
- She tells you a bs reason on giving someone a blowjob (lets face it..she did it because she was attracted to the dude..not because of this family reason crap. she just made that excuse up because she didn't want to look slutty.)

By the way she's starting to act colder and not wanting to stay together with you..I think the escalation window has closed, or is very quickly closing.

What you need:
You need to meet up with her face to face.
Have good fundamentals (remain calm, good posture, abundance mentality)
Deep dive (Relate to her. Get her on a topic that is important to her..like her childhood, dream, family..and LET HER TALK. It's VERY IMPORTANT that you not talk over her..or talk a lot for that matter.)
Compliance (Move her, get her to do things for you. An example would be telling her to sit down, or hold onto the beverage you're having)

I think you still have a very slim chance. She has been very very generous to give you such a long escalation window(close to 10 dates). It may be closed..or it may still be open. However..after making that many mistakes and disappointing her..you will need to bring your A game. If you're not close to perfect the next time you see her, it will be game over for you.

 

[Dunking Style]

I left out the most important part of all this!

If all goes well..and she warms up to you..
Move her somewhere alone(your home/her home/car/etc) with you, escalate, and become lovers. (Or in other words..have sex damn it)

Goodluck!

 

[quickcharge]

Thanks everyone! But It's not that I didn't deliver guys I had her in my bed naked about to fuck her, she was "to scared" and started to tear up ? I didn't want to force her into anything so I laid off. She said she wanted it, I reached for a condom and then saw her tearing up. I will try my fucking best, will let you guys know Saturday morning! If I am depressed cheer me up aye?

thing is my piece is not small either and I last so long in bed its stupid...

 

[Smurf]

It seems like me that you need to get this girl out of your head. This is my best advice: APPROACH GIRLS! Making my first approach literally changed me. It's a feeling I can't even explain, but by just doing a night of approaching I felt waaayy more abundance, girls stuck in my head for less time and I realized how easy this all is and how silly and cute girls really are. Like Tyme2k said, approach at this party and make sure you feel the abundance. It's guaranteed to help.

Best luck to you,
Jake.