need help! failed to kiss, had to let her go, filled with regret now

[thats_a_penis_disgustang]

quick:
gave her number in 20 second conversation, got on a date in just several texts
very receptive from the first hug on a date, we were holding hands as soon as we sat on a couch in cafe ("are you cold, let me warm you up")
right of the bat she asked me if I live far away (3 min of walking) or alone (I live alone)
went home within 15 minutes, receptive to all kinds of touching, legs, hands, fixing hair, I held her knee with my elbow right in the fucking pussy (right in the pussy)

when went to kiss by turning her head with the finger and she firmly resisted that ("no touching" in a joking manner)
then we talked about how she bites during kissing, and she really wanted to kiss but firmly stopped herself.
it was 10 pm tuesday night (we met at 8:30 pm) and she really had to go to wake up early (not like "you frightened me, I'll go" or "you failed to escalate, I'm frustrated and I'll go", but more like "fuck its so late I need to wake up at 6")

and also we made very specific plans to meet on sunday (usually when dates go to shit she just says, well, I don't know when I am free)

SO
what to do when she firmly resists kissing two times (or even more then two attempts, I think)?

my ideas:
manhandle kiss would only frighten her I think
If we had more time (if we met like on 2 pm on sunday) she would for sure warmed up and just said fuck it
could have asked straight up, why won't she kiss me (my best idea so far)

could be:
she is not shaved or is on a period, so can't let sex happen out of shame
I didn't persist and I should've (but honestly, I think that would have just frighten her)
she is just so hung up on this being the first date and on a second we will just fuck right away
cody wrote Some girls are like that, it's not you. She just feels aroused easily but has a weird block about sex. Best way to do it when a girl is is resisting fast is to then get distant from her, make a coffee etc, put on music, talk about stories, build up a different kind of compliance then try again but more teaaasing

 

[Seppuku]

You had it all good until escalation. Your girl (not so) discreetly asking about your home, wanted to be isolated with you. So everything you did, prior to escalation, was good! That's the good news.

Before I go on, I need to state that kissing on a date is a risky move. Just go around on the field reports and the General boards and read about all the guys scratching their head about what went wrong with the kiss.

Some of them proudly pulled a "kiss close", but then never managed to get a second date with the girl. What happens typically here is, the kiss killed whatever sexual tension they had. Pussy gets dry.

And some others, like yourself (and myself, when I started), have the girl stubbornly resist the kiss. The more they try, the more resistance they get, until the whole thing goes into disarray. In this case, it's like you are hitting a defense trigger with your kiss, and the more you try, the more negative compliance you build. Not good for your karma.

I am ready to bet that, if you had tried to sexually escalate without attempting a kiss, you would have had better results.

So now, if you manage to see her again and isolate her, and given that you failed on the kiss two times, I would say do not insist on this route. Physically escalate her but stay clear of the kiss... until when you are about to penetrate her. Also, be aware that, after a failed escalation attempt, she will try to make things harder for you the next time.

Seppuku
PS. Because of this very issue, I have applied the rule "don't kiss the girl before sex" successfully each time.

 

[Alcman]

Because of this very issue, I have applied the rule "don't kiss the girl before sex" successfully each time.

Intriguing concept!

 

[Seppuku]

Intriguing concept!

Nothing intriguing about it. You escalate sexually but carefully avoid kissing on the lips, until the last minute.

Once your p is in her v, then you can kiss as much as you want.

 

[thats_a_penis_disgustang]

that was actually the most important thing for me to hear right now. it sounds stupid, but what should I do escalation wise instead of a kiss? like grab her ass or some shit? I thought the kiss was the gateway

 

[Seppuku]

OK, so for the avoidance of doubts, I need to clarify.

I am saying that trying to kiss a girl during a date can fire back in many ways. If you are good at creating and dosing sexual tension, you can still make it work for you, but otherwise you'd better be careful. As soon as I identified the issue, I personally developed a way of going through the seduction and avoiding the kiss (and all problems that go with it) altogether. The good point about this method is it keeps the sexual tension unbroken until the last minute.

The exception to this, of course, is if she is the one pushing for the kiss - in this case go for it! But be sure to be the one breaking the kiss first.

that was actually the most important thing for me to hear right now. it sounds stupid, but what should I do escalation wise instead of a kiss? like grab her ass or some shit? I thought the kiss was the gateway

However you have already faced two rejections of the kiss. You can expect the same the next time you try. In addition, you are stacking up negative compliance, which is a thing to avoid altogether. So I definitely recommend you avoiding the kiss next time.

By kiss, I mean making out, i.e. the mouth. There are tons of ways you can sexually escalate a girl other than making out. She doesn't lack lovely places you can kiss, other than the lips. Try kissing her ear lobes, or her neck, for instance...

You can also bring you hands in the picture - lol . You can caress her hair, her neck, slowly go down around her boobs. You can also start by her bare arms, then go up, etc... You can start unbutton that shirt, take out the boobs out of the bra and suck them. Or start with her legs and go up. You can take her hand and place it on your hard on.

It's not lacking possibilities. I used to describe sexual escalation, but some guys here tried to apply it like an algorithm . It's more go with the flow, see how she reacts, and use her reactions as a guide. Talk to her and use your deep sexy voice all the time.

Good luck!
Seppuku

 

[ljrozz69]

Hey TAPD,

Did you saw my post on this topic? You had exactly the same problem -that is ESCALATION- and I think that the links I shared there may help you a lot.
Seppuku also gave you a lot of good advice, you only need to try it out! If you do you will be ahead of a major sticking point of yours and if you are doing everything else correctly you'll start fucking a lot more chicks

Best,
Klimax

 

[thats_a_penis_disgustang]

I am gonna have to hurry and find another girl before the end of the year and I will try sexual escalation without a kiss. I had 9 dates in last 2 month, 6 of them were in my place, so everything before the escalation is pretty much a learned steady process. thank you a lot, Seppuku and Klimax! btw, hey, Alcman, what the fuck is that pedophile shit on your avatar?

 

[thats_a_penis_disgustang]

so, yeah, she ghosted me on sunday, which cements the notion that she was ready to fuck, I just didn't know how to approach it

 

[naturalmikey]

in this field report i didn't include this part. when we got back to my house we were sitting on the couch and i tried to kiss her. she wouldn't kiss me. but she was at my house, so i figured she was dtf. so i just put out my hand and said come with me. she followed me into the bedroom. i grabbed her and threw her on the bed and she was super down. we hooked up three times. didn't kiss at all. some chicks will fuck but do not want to kiss at all. maybe she has a boyfriend or a problem with intimacy. who knows. when she was letting you escalate without kissing you should've just skipped the kissing. perfectly possible to fuck without kissing.

when i was new i also lost some girls kissing. so i just started kissing it. for some reason kissing triggers asd more than rubbing on their pussy. i remember when i learned you could skip kissing and go straight to touching her pussy i was shocked.

LR - Thursday bar game

I started out at my normal bar. This bar is where 90% of my pulls come from. This cute short blonde chick approached me. She’s early thirties and a high five. She’d likely been a high six ten years ago. Regardless she’s never been that hot. She’s drunk and soft spoken an odd combination. She...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[thats_a_penis_disgustang]

thank you friends all very much! the "skip the kiss" idea was exactly what I needed, now I have some plans on how to make escalation mutual and socially acceptable - massage, quest for g spot, complimenting and touching bodyparts and so on. will find a new girl soon and test

 

[Tony D]

It's not a big deal if you can get a second date. If you can't get the second date, then it's a bigger issue. Perhaps she's not being turned on enough, or she's not comfortable enough. But to isolate why that might be would require more data.