ok, so there's this girl who is in my extended social circle. We've known about each others existence for a while I think but hadn't really met, but recently been happen to visit the same friends parties.
He is a closer friend of a friend, so we don't really know too much about each other I think directly yet.
She was actually the first to message me 4-5 months ago that "I'm going to Thailand to chill and study and I heard by accident that you're going as well. Where are you heading and what do you do there?"
At that point we hadn't really even seen each other properly, so she was totally initiating this. I ended up not going at the time and then I was super busy with work for 3 months on a big project where I didn't see anyone almost outside my work circles.
I have seen her now at 2-3 parties recently, we have hanged out a bit and talked. I have not made a move (silly me). Always our close friends were around and it was abit awkward I thought. But I ended up messaging her the first night that it was cool to meet her a bit closer. She responded pretty much right away with positive message.
She ended up at my place at one time with a group of people but we were all super wasted, at least I was. So she left at some point when we all crashed. She had talked she is going for an Ayahuasca ceremony soon. I don't remember how the conversation went exactly as we were drunk but I said I was also interested in that. Then I pretty much forgot about the whole thing and about her as I didn't see it going anywhere but then she randomly messaged me with a very warm message and asking to come to the same ceremony. I was on a trip at the time and I answered short. Now we ended up at the same party again. We hanged out more than the first time but mostly not separately 1-1. I asked her out to watch a movie later by text (as she had already been at my place I thought it's ok). She was into it but said she might be very busy the coming two days as everyone is preparing to leave town for midsummer holidays here. She actually messaged me that evening that what's up? But I was tired and said, maybe we should do it tomorrow instead. She said, she has some birthday and tons of work but let's try. Now she messaged she cannot after all. But she knows she'll see me at the party a day after tomorrow (a big outdoors party with tons of people and people staying the nights). And she also knows we might meet at one festival in two weeks and in the middle of this is the Aya trip as well. (I know that's totally not suitable for a date, hahaha. and I actually just got the message from organisers those dates are full and I could go another time.).
I know this has gone south a bit as I haven't made any moves except via text. Ever since my last breakup 2 years ago, I've developed a pattern where girls (in my social circle or outside) who I'm not interested in or are just interested in sex dig me left and right. But girls I'm a bit more interested in than that, are initially into it, but then I get rejected sooner or later. I invest too much into this. I want to break the pattern. I'm in my early 30s but I'm handsome, fit and even though I have some issues and anxieties, I'm still a catch. I rarely really like a girl and if I do, I screw it up most of the time.
What should I do at this party? Try to hook up? Be friendly but "next" her and hook up with someone else. I've been a bit beta, so I need to alfa up.
Maybe try to hook up at first and if this doesn't succeed then hook up with someone else?
Or just be friendly with her and then be super friendly and alfa with other girls in front of her?
Or maybe not go to that party at all. I have other things where I could go too. Be a bit of a mystery and not hang out the same circle too much for a while.
There was a super vague thing that we might hang out next week but like I said, that was super vague.
I'd like to turn this around
He is a closer friend of a friend, so we don't really know too much about each other I think directly yet.
She was actually the first to message me 4-5 months ago that "I'm going to Thailand to chill and study and I heard by accident that you're going as well. Where are you heading and what do you do there?"
At that point we hadn't really even seen each other properly, so she was totally initiating this. I ended up not going at the time and then I was super busy with work for 3 months on a big project where I didn't see anyone almost outside my work circles.
I have seen her now at 2-3 parties recently, we have hanged out a bit and talked. I have not made a move (silly me). Always our close friends were around and it was abit awkward I thought. But I ended up messaging her the first night that it was cool to meet her a bit closer. She responded pretty much right away with positive message.
She ended up at my place at one time with a group of people but we were all super wasted, at least I was. So she left at some point when we all crashed. She had talked she is going for an Ayahuasca ceremony soon. I don't remember how the conversation went exactly as we were drunk but I said I was also interested in that. Then I pretty much forgot about the whole thing and about her as I didn't see it going anywhere but then she randomly messaged me with a very warm message and asking to come to the same ceremony. I was on a trip at the time and I answered short. Now we ended up at the same party again. We hanged out more than the first time but mostly not separately 1-1. I asked her out to watch a movie later by text (as she had already been at my place I thought it's ok). She was into it but said she might be very busy the coming two days as everyone is preparing to leave town for midsummer holidays here. She actually messaged me that evening that what's up? But I was tired and said, maybe we should do it tomorrow instead. She said, she has some birthday and tons of work but let's try. Now she messaged she cannot after all. But she knows she'll see me at the party a day after tomorrow (a big outdoors party with tons of people and people staying the nights). And she also knows we might meet at one festival in two weeks and in the middle of this is the Aya trip as well. (I know that's totally not suitable for a date, hahaha. and I actually just got the message from organisers those dates are full and I could go another time.).
I know this has gone south a bit as I haven't made any moves except via text. Ever since my last breakup 2 years ago, I've developed a pattern where girls (in my social circle or outside) who I'm not interested in or are just interested in sex dig me left and right. But girls I'm a bit more interested in than that, are initially into it, but then I get rejected sooner or later. I invest too much into this. I want to break the pattern. I'm in my early 30s but I'm handsome, fit and even though I have some issues and anxieties, I'm still a catch. I rarely really like a girl and if I do, I screw it up most of the time.
What should I do at this party? Try to hook up? Be friendly but "next" her and hook up with someone else. I've been a bit beta, so I need to alfa up.
Maybe try to hook up at first and if this doesn't succeed then hook up with someone else?
Or just be friendly with her and then be super friendly and alfa with other girls in front of her?
Or maybe not go to that party at all. I have other things where I could go too. Be a bit of a mystery and not hang out the same circle too much for a while.
There was a super vague thing that we might hang out next week but like I said, that was super vague.
I'd like to turn this around
