Need some advice....help appreciated

[Van Hammer]

Hi all,
I've posted here a bit before about general pickup situations but this a little different.

I've been seeing a girl casually for the last month or so. I like her a lot and would really like to date her seriously and develop a relationship. I actually met her a while ago and it took me a while to even get her to hang out with me one on one. We have mutual friends and she would just always try to get me to meet her up at a bar but would be difficult when I tried to hang out with her one on one. Eventually I was able to get that first date and it was great. We kissed at the end of the night and have been texting pretty much every day for the past month. I've been hanging out with her alone about once a week and I've also hung out at bars with her and mutual friends.

I have not slept with her yet and I figured just like everything else with her, its going to take a bit. It seems like she's always with her family or her best friend (girlfriend) and it takes me asking several times to hang out with her before she finds time. It's always me, however, asking to hang out and she never initiates. But when we do hang out, she's super affectionate and its pretty much like hanging out with a girlfriend.

Anyway, I've been wanting to tell her how I feel for a while but don't really know how to go about it. This past weekend, we got dinner and it was great. I feel no pressure when we're hanging out and its really natural. Me and my friend met her up at the bar the next night, and she was on me the whole night, making out, being extremely affectionate, etc, etc. At the end of the night, we were both drunk and its a bit hazy but....she disappeared for a bit and then I saw her hugging up on some guy and it seemed like it was a little to close for "just friends". She then disappeared. Checking my phone later on, I guess she called me right when she was leaving, which I missed, and then she text me saying that her sisters boyfriend was there to pick her up and they didnt wanna keep him waiting. I was drunk and pretty upset that she just disappeared. I also drunkenly thought that she actually left with that guy so I texted her "have fun with that". She texted back and asked if I was mad at her and I didn't answer. Still being drunk, I apparently hit on some other girl that tujrned out to be her sister's friend. Needless to say, she found out and I didn't even remember doing that until she let me know the next day. I texted her saying that I had a lot of fun and sorry if I was a dick at the end of the night. She said that she had fun too but told me to "make sure I don't hit on her sister's friend rigth when she leaves next time", which to me, came out of left field because I didn't even remember. I told her that the only reason I did that was because she just disappeared and I thought she left with that guy.

Anyway, she said it was no biggie and that she was not bad but Idk if she really means that. We made some small talk after but I could tell she was a bit distant And she didn't text me all day today.

So I'm not sure where to go from here. Like i said, I have feelings for the girl and really want to try and make something out of this but I want to A) Have things go both ways instead of me always asking her to hang out and B) taking her out once a week and kissing for a bit at the end of the night and that's it. And at this point, I'm not even sure how to handle the incident from the other night.

would love some advice, thanks.

 

[Flames]

From what I can see you've not done anything with this girl other than hangout, no make outs etc..? So it seems like your possibly in the friendzone here, even though you've said she was affectionate it seems like she's that with other guys too.

You need to back off on the texting, ask her out on a proper date (maybe), dont go spilling your guts to her, show her how you feel, essentially be a man treat her as a GF rather than a hanging out buddy.

It's unclear exactly what she wants/gets out of this arrangement, which is probably why your having to make all the effort.

 

[Van Hammer]

You may have misread... I have made out with her every time we've seen each other and i've gone on two "proper dates" with her. It's been really flirtatious, she's always trying to hold my hand, etc. it's definitely not a fried zone issue. It just seems like she's pretty conservative an also has some trust issues so she moves slowly. At least that's my perception.

 

[Flames]

You may have misread... I have made out with her every time we've seen each other and i've gone on two "proper dates" with her. It's been really flirtatious, she's always trying to hold my hand, etc. it's definitely not a fried zone issue. It just seems like she's pretty conservative an also has some trust issues so she moves slowly. At least that's my perception.

Sorry, I did misread that, but still same applies don't txt so much.

 

[Good Vibes]

We have mutual friends...... I've been hanging out with her alone about once a week and I've also hung out at bars with her and mutual friends.

Having mutual friends means that if she sleeps with you, you could be a reputation risk. You must ensure discretion about intimacy with her. Although I feel as if you have lost attraction from her for other reasons.

Anyway, I've been wanting to tell her how I feel for a while but don't really know how to go about it.

Telling a girl how you feel before you bed her usually does more harm than good. You are better off lightly teasing, improve your sexiness, dominance as a man and make her chase you.

....she disappeared for a bit and then I saw her hugging up on some guy and it seemed like it was a little to close for "just friends".

That tells me she's auto rejected you into the friend zone. You need to be seen with other girls infront of her to get attraction back or move on.

She then disappeared. Checking my phone later on, I guess she called me right when she was leaving, which I missed, and then she text me saying that her sisters boyfriend was there to pick her up and they didnt wanna keep him waiting.

That is a brush off.

I was drunk and pretty upset that she just disappeared. I also drunkenly thought that she actually left with that guy so I texted her "have fun with that".

Don't be bitter, it's a turn off.

She texted back and asked if I was mad at her and I didn't answer. Still being drunk, I apparently hit on some other girl that tujrned out to be her sister's friend. Needless to say, she found out and I didn't even remember doing that until she let me know the next day. I texted her saying that I had a lot of fun and sorry if I was a dick at the end of the night. She said that she had fun too but told me to "make sure I don't hit on her sister's friend rigth when she leaves next time",

I'd say she doesn't care if you hit on to someone else, she's just saying that to have an excuse to break away from you if it comes to that later down the track and if she has a problem with you getting the message she can say "well you were hitting on to my sister's friend".

It's seems she still values your friendship and perhaps may use you for her own good but she's moved on, so should you.