Need Wisdom on if I should NEXT lover for her own good??

[Mr.Rob]

So the girl from my upcoming LR is like totally in love with me now, or my dick at least. I gave this girl like 5 orgasms the other night and was the best sex of her life (mine too). Obviously she really likes me now and I think she's cool and whatnot but I don't think I could do a relationship with her. She's not my dream girl (I refuse to settle), she's 17 years older than me, and lives 8 hours away from me. I highly doubt she would even want to date me since I can't see her seeing me as relationship material. She wants to keep coming to visit me every other month or so to get some dick and I'm wondering if this is going to hurt her in the long run.

I don't want her to get attached and then get bummed when I get a girlfriend and she can't come fuck anymore.

I'm such a newb and have no idea how to handle this situation. I'm thinking reinforce my frame that were strictly fwb (I'd like to be able to have a place to stay and connections in ATL where she stays and like her as a FWB) so she doesn't have any expectations. She won't stop texting me how bad she wants to see me and how incredible of a man I am. Semi annoying really, I see why girls don't like being put on a pedestal now.

Any advice on if it might be a good idea to NEXT her for her own good or if I can keep contact for connections and occasional FWB would be awesome since I don't know how this orgasm love stuff works.

Thanks in advance fellows!

-Rob

 

[Franco]

Rob,

I wouldn't "NEXT" her per se... the fact that she lives 8 hours away is enough of a reason that she'll come to understand that you don't want to be tied down by her. Now, rather than trying to actively re-enforce a FWB frame, I think you should passively do so. That way, you can probably still see her when she is in town but not give her the wrong idea that you're open to some long distance relationship.

The way to do this is to not respond to any texts referring to things that are sexual, and don't engage sexually in texting with her (or sexting). This is only going to make her hungry for you and desire to text you more and more until she's texting you every hour (if she isn't doing that already)! Your conversations need to be platonic, and you should probably just straight up ignore any texts that are sexual on her part. If this is already happening, then it might be difficult to go back on it now, but you can give it a shot.

Now what might happen is that she might eventually confront you about what your sexual encounter together was all about (maybe through an indirect text), and she might shit test you to see if you think of her as "slutty" for being so sexually aggressive and only going to bed with her one (or a few) time(s). You need to be calm here and let her know that you really enjoyed the passionate experience you two shared together and that you don't view women that way. Then you need to continue to avoid any attempts of hers to get sexual with you over texting. Be friendly and respond to platonic texts here and there, but make sure you don't do it super often! Sometimes you may even need to take 24 hours or more to respond.

Do this until she gets the idea that you're not always available to be texted and that you have other things going on in your life. She'll eventually calm down with the texting, or may stop texting you altogether. There's no guarantee that you can keep a FWB that lives 8 hours away, but minimal platonic contact until you actually get a chance to see her again is the best way to attempt it. Try not to really contact her for anything unless it's something platonic that you two have in common or you actually are in her town and want to see her.

This would be my advice!

- Franco

 

[Mr.Rob]

Franco, thank you. This would've been useful about 3 days ago but better late than never. This post-sex stuff keeps getting me lol.

Anyway her texts are pretty much all sexual though somewhat. She refers to me as Don Juan Demarko "The greatest lover in the world"... ugghh can't be good.
Though I only responded sexually back once and the rest mostly bidding farewell until next time.

From now on I'm going to keep it platonic and I doubt she'll think of anything more than fwb but then again I don't know women that well or this girl.

My only worry is that she'll want to come visit me all the time and get needy (since apparently good sex is not a commodity :/ ) .

I guess I'll just have to see what happens. Thanks for chiming in Franco. I know how to handle this better next time!

-Rob

 

[Mr.Rob]

Drex I didn't even see your comment until now. Yeah man that's pretty much what I was thinking like I'm pretty positive she wouldn't expect a relationship and I have no intention of being more than homies with benefits.

I set that frame pretty early on before we had sex so I think she gets the deal.

Will check out your article on cluster B women preciate the heads up!

-Rob