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Never asking to meet up. Never hinting it.

ocean_eyes

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 7, 2021
Messages
65
I used to do this. This was key part of my text/phone game. I will just keep flirting and talking bullshit, no matter how long it takes,
until SHE suggests meeting up. And actually, i used to make an EXCUSE as to why we can't hang out, and it
drove girls wild!!

However, when i met up with them, it was weird. i am not sure if it was just poor calibration back then, or if this method is "inherently flawed somehow"...

I am trying to get this going again but it seems tougher for some reason.

Just wondering if anyone else has used this "tactic," (or naturally does it because they're busy!)
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

ulrich

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
1,794
I don’t think it’s a great idea.
Women who don’t think have a chance with you or have “better” prospects than you may not suggest a meetup, leaving you with only a fraction of the dates you could have.

When I was starting, several women I asked for dates were surprised when I asked them out… back then they didn’t think they had a chance.
 

Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
2,304
It's your job to approach, it's your job to ask her out, it's your job to escalate. There are ways to do these things that don't come across as needy, and feed off her own desires rather than just imposing yours onto her.

That's how I see things, anyway.

PS someone who is busy is naturally not going to want to chit chat all day on the phone.
 

Fluxcapacitor

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
785
@youngjd dude! This tactic is inherently flawed. It works but as @uriel mentioned you'll miss out on girls and as @Will_V has stated you're not leading and if you were really busy you wouldn't be chatting endlessly on the phone. You'd also have to make the most of your free time...

You'll run the risk of being the endless conversation guy, her pen pal, the dude she texts but never meets or eventually stop texting you because the relationship progress has stalled by not even meeting.

What this achieves is finding out a girl who has high interest, high investment, chasing you and really wants to meet up. If she was that interested, she'd accept your invitation in the first place. This will also explain the awkward dates, she's still expecting you to be a dude and lead. She's clearly expressed her interest, built you up on a pedestal and now doesn't want to mess up. Probably positioned you as a boyfriend candidate and that's another way to get barriers.

You can use this with soft closing by hinting at things, I like to do it to get a number, "I'll get your number and we'll meet up tomorrow for those drinks" - I haven't asked for her number, I've run ahead that she's already agreed. Keep talking as normal at this point as if you've already got her number and she'll ask for your phone to give you her number. She's invested and it looks that she really wants something from you not the other way around. (Field tested) - if she doesn't, then proceed as normal to get her number. She's already agreed to the date. (You should be getting dates set up before numbers)

I don't know how long it's been since you last used this for why it's harder now, if it's been years there's more distractions now.

This works best as follow ups, if you've had x number of dates and gave up on her, make her set up another meet. If you've bedded her a few times already and she's locked in play around with having her set up the meets, this will drive her crazy. It's less effective with new girls dude
 

ocean_eyes

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 7, 2021
Messages
65
@youngjd dude! This tactic is inherently flawed. It works but as @uriel mentioned you'll miss out on girls and as @Will_V has stated you're not leading and if you were really busy you wouldn't be chatting endlessly on the phone. You'd also have to make the most of your free time...

You'll run the risk of being the endless conversation guy, her pen pal, the dude she texts but never meets or eventually stop texting you because the relationship progress has stalled by not even meeting.

What this achieves is finding out a girl who has high interest, high investment, chasing you and really wants to meet up. If she was that interested, she'd accept your invitation in the first place. This will also explain the awkward dates, she's still expecting you to be a dude and lead. She's clearly expressed her interest, built you up on a pedestal and now doesn't want to mess up. Probably positioned you as a boyfriend candidate and that's another way to get barriers.

You can use this with soft closing by hinting at things, I like to do it to get a number, "I'll get your number and we'll meet up tomorrow for those drinks" - I haven't asked for her number, I've run ahead that she's already agreed. Keep talking as normal at this point as if you've already got her number and she'll ask for your phone to give you her number. She's invested and it looks that she really wants something from you not the other way around. (Field tested) - if she doesn't, then proceed as normal to get her number. She's already agreed to the date. (You should be getting dates set up before numbers)

I don't know how long it's been since you last used this for why it's harder now, if it's been years there's more distractions now.

This works best as follow ups, if you've had x number of dates and gave up on her, make her set up another meet. If you've bedded her a few times already and she's locked in play around with having her set up the meets, this will drive her crazy. It's less effective with new girls dude
Thank you Flux! Great advice.
It's not a hard rule or anything. But a general outline I go by when texting.
I'm at a point where i need to switch things up regardless.

Think I'll be experimenting with more direct game.
 

ocean_eyes

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Apr 7, 2021
Messages
65
It's your job to approach, it's your job to ask her out, it's your job to escalate. There are ways to do these things that don't come across as needy, and feed off her own desires rather than just imposing yours onto her.

That's how I see things, anyway.

PS someone who is busy is naturally not going to want to chit chat all day on the phone.
Succinct and to the point. I feel you. Wise words.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
6,287
I used to do this. This was key part of my text/phone game. I will just keep flirting and talking bullshit, no matter how long it takes,
until SHE suggests meeting up. And actually, i used to make an EXCUSE as to why we can't hang out, and it
drove girls wild!!

However, when i met up with them, it was weird. i am not sure if it was just poor calibration back then, or if this method is "inherently flawed somehow"...

I am trying to get this going again but it seems tougher for some reason.

Just wondering if anyone else has used this "tactic," (or naturally does it because they're busy!)

Reason it backfired when you meet in person cause with this method they get massively invested (it is very powerful as you witness), and start fantasizing and projecting a vision of a guy on to you, and if you are in person and don't match it they get disappointed (happened to me a few times)... A way to get around this is doing something the 3 bounce method at the meet....

I still used the system in some cases....But again now a days i have changed the system a bit, this still would work if you have live ins...... or if you have logistical issues to meet (you being busy)...... or you want to string along a girl, (i actually did this recently cause the girl live in another city so it still work if that is the goal)....

What i am saying is use it as a tool if you need to delay the meet and to avoid the girl from dropping off.... Field test this one i used that is a variation that also works...

make a journal and post logs on your texting as well...(this will skyrocket your results)
 

foggy

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,532
Being so comfortable with texting that you can text endlessly is a great skill to have.

It's useful, because you can take your sweet time and focus on strategy.... getting her into a perfect position to close through text...and do it all without constantly worrying about what to say next

However if you don't logistically escalate when she's in that perfect position, then you're missing an escalation window...and you and I both know that's not ideal!

Certainly, you could take a low effort route and get higher percentages of girls to close themselves, by subcommunicating and hinting at meeting yourself

But never hinting at meeting, and always waiting for the girl to initiate closing? Its flawed like flux says
 

Water

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 27, 2014
Messages
295
I did this when I first started learning game around 18-19 years old. It was kind of an accident that so many hot girls booty called me and tried to fuck me. I was so busy eith school and gym and my goals I just didn’t prioritize women much. And I assumed they weren’t attracted to me but only wanted to be friends.

So I would turn down hang out invites all the time (not something hot girls are used to), A stripper I kept as a fuck buddy on and off for 3-5 years always thought i was fuckingother girls (but i was too lazy and content fucking her), but i was literally not. i tried and would have but didn’t get the chance.

lol it’s mad attractive. Girls will try to play hard to get and pretend to get going leaving you and you just say “ok” without a care and this one hot girl practically begged me to stay even though i was cool with it either way.
 
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