I've thought long and hard about this exact situation, and I think it's actually about gamey-ness.
How are you ending these super nice fun interactions?
If you're failing to screen for logistics or aren't paying attention to windows, you might actually be getting auto-rejected because girls are thinking "WOW, WE HAD THIS GREAT CONNECTION AND I WANTED HIS DICK...and then he asked to get coffee."
When you fail to hit these windows, girls think you don't like them. If you go for a traditional date and play it too cool, they think "oh, he does this all the time and I'm just another wet hole to him." A great misconception in the seduction community is that being a "player" is always a good thing. It's better than being a pussy-boy, 1000x over, but it's not the end and a lot of guys who are learning to game are inevitably coming off as players to women. they're using lines, techniques, and frames that they haven't yet internalized and made "natural," so to women it comes off...too smooth. They know they're getting played.
Other than external circumstances, this is my best guess as to what is happening. She gives you all this attention and emotion and then you blandly ask her to coffee. If a girl is being really emotional with you, reciprocate - hold her hand, touch her frequently, tell her that you can't wait to see her, wink at her,etc. Now the lengths to which you are affectionate should match HER affection or just slightly below. I'm not saying proclaim your love, but do respond to women's affection in kind.
Imagine you are super lovey dovey with a girl and she's just "meh" back to you. You're gonna feel weak, vulnerable, and like she doesn't care about you? Very likely you'll think she won't ever text you back or call you back, so you don't even try.
Now take those emotions and magnify them by 100x. That's how girls feel.
So,
1. Look for windows
2. Reciprocate her investment at her level or slightly below
The more I think about it, it has nothing to do with mystery. It's just that when you're still operating "mechanically" and haven't transformed into a natural (yes, you can become a natural), your modus operendi when grabbing girl's numbers fits the bill when it's a quick interaction - of course she doesn't expect you to be emotionally invested, since she hasn't been either.
But when she's giving you tons of emotions, you need to take care, lest you send her into auto-rejection.
So yes, these girls are putting a lot of pressure on themselves and like you a lot. But if you investigate that further, you realize how little fucking sense that makes for a girl NOT responding to your texts.
"I like him a lot, so I'm gonna ignore him."
Dafuq? Sounds dumb right?
But here's the part we're missing
"I like him a lot, and...he doesn't seem as interested in me as I am in him...."
Instead you want her to think
"I like him a lot...and he seems to like me a lot, too! Oh my god, I've been waiting forever for a guy like this...he's so exciting!!!"
And so long as these emotions are supplanted in purely lover qualities - emotional highs and lust, there's no fear of being a boyfriend. And that's where we demolish the idea that a woman liking you too much puts you in the boyfriend zone. For MOST guys, they're either laid back players or pussy boy providers. But there are a rare few who combine the best of both worlds - intense affection, but without the long-term expectations.
Take THAT for a spin and watch all of your past no-shows suddenly make perfect fucking sense in an amazing domino-deluge of reflection.
Hector
