New Article of Chase: Making girls feel allowed to

[DarkKnight]

This article was a total mindfuck for me yesterday and I could see how it can work. "Because she already wanted you. You're just trying to help her feel like it's okay to give into what she wants."

What's the biggest difference between these two mindsets?:
"I have to do things in order to make women want me, so I can try to sleep with them."
"I have to do things in order to help women feel allowed to sleep with me, and I have to lead them toward intimacy with me.

The second one is much more in lign with assuming attraction and helps you remove obstacles instead of getting onto a push pull situation.

Because I have encountered way too many times that I know girls are attracted but I grew tired because of them cutting conversations short or any of that, but I realise: most of them are nervous and don't feel allowed to flirt continue because of a lack of social context or anti slut defense.

Maybe I am rambling a bit, but I'm still trying to digest the entire message. For some reason the article really struck with me, probably because I felt this is key when encountering ressistance. It is much easier to handle ressistance when you know that you have to feel girls have to feel allowed instead of seeing it as a rejection. Also gives you a bit more persistence and patience.

Huge caveat however: This probably goes more for girls about who you are sure are attracted to you. Not the wishy washy types who seem to feel no real interest. You need to know when not to waste time.

 

[NewBeeWinner]

Hi,

In my experience, I've also found this to be true. Just my two cents:

After fixing my style and working out more, generally being more attractive to women, I've found that most of the time they feel like they need to be accepted by you. I've had a girl who told me "there are way more attractive girls out there - you can get any one you want. Why me?" Sure, this comes across as resistance, but its really asking for you to be more attainable.

Many of the things that will cause a girl to resist - a lack of attainability, not having similarity (being a "player"), and a lack of compliance (likely due to one of the two before) can be traced back to this train of thought.

I can tell you, like Chase hinted to, I went through both mindsets - moving from the first of "I have to do things in order to make women want me" to the second. I feel like this change occurs when you get enough experience with women and get your fundamentals in check, thus propelling you into further success.

The second also requires a deeper understanding of how women work and think, so you can know the RIGHT things to remove and the RIGHT way to lead them towards intimacy (not being needy, flirting more, setting the right frames). Most women don't have guys in their lives that are accepting about certain aspects of themselves, so we're the ones who are doing something different! We have to set up the dynamics in a way that she can feel allowed to act on how she really feels - and not on how society tells her she should feel.

Just some thoughts,

NBW

 

[DarkKnight]

I think I am guilty of being seen as a "player", from time to time. Usually it's when a girl shows ressistance, I back off and quite frequently talk to new girls pretty fast. It's not behaviour girls are used to. So what then happens is that girls get jealous or simply do not trust me. Which in your words is indeed lack of similarity. So I need to make girls feel allowed to flirt by showing more similarity.

I had this happen more than once I think. Usually when i already put girls in Autorejection, but they are still interested enough.

Yeah..

 

[NewBeeWinner]

I know I'm facing that same thing recently. What's working for me is reframing anything they say that is not beneficial towards moving the courtship forward and being more vulnerable about certain aspects of myself. So it's not just deep-diving and eliciting her values, but also relating to them (women love to feel related to!) and showing that you're not a perfect human pick up robot. What I'm now worried about is coming across as "too attainable" so there's a definite balance that you have to stay aware of.

For a while a couple months ago, I went through the motions with a ton of different girls and went on a bunch of dates and got the label of a "player". It was simply because I was only focused on getting sex from the girl - not preparing her and directing her to also want sex with me. The difference in these two mindset and how they cause you to act is HUGE.

NBW

 

[Fuck This]

Would you talk to a woman you just met differently if you knew she liked you?

Would you escalate differently with a woman if you knew she wanted to have sex with you?

Then make her FEEL like she can show you and be vigilant for those signals.