New chick I'm seeing, texting dilemma

[mindful]

What's up guys. I recently laid a new chick last week. It happened on our second date.

The sex was great and she was more than satisfied (from our post text convo ). Now, I asked her to when she is free yesterday to meet up, below is the exchange.

Me: happy Monday
Me: when are you free again?
Her: depends on what I am supposed to be available for
Me: hehe. I'd like to see your place this time. I'll bring a bottle of wine for us

Now she never texted back after that. Strange I thought. Since this girl is referring to getting fucked again.

Any who... I text her again today. Straight to the point.

Me: come see me tonight.
Her: you have to earn it first

Like... the fuck? Is she boyfriend slotting me? I really don't know how to proceed. This is an interesting learning experience for me and help / interpretation is appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[Seppuku]

Hey mindful,

I have noticed many times that a girl doesn't feel she fully "belong" to you until the second or third time you have sex with her. Blackdragon mentions the same.

So if you have taken her to bed once, congratulations, but you're not fully out of waters yet. The next time you see her may require you to seduce her again. Her comment:

Her: depends on what I am supposed to be available for

strongly hinted to this. Next time you see something like that coming, you need to handle it carefully - no direct reference to sex. Meet her somewhere, pull her quickly and escalate again.

Me: hehe. I'd like to see your place this time. I'll bring a bottle of wine for us

Instead, this has triggered her defenses.

I would advise to work it out again like from scratch.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[mindful]

Thanks!

I thought her initial message was hinting towards sex. That's why I answered like I did.

But yeah, thanks for the breakdown. I know that a girl isn't yours until you bed her a few times. There is an article here about it too I think also. I will try and get her out again.

 

[mindful]

I asked her to grab a drink with me tonight. She didn't respond. I'm not doing good with her right now lol. Oh well...

 

[mindful]

So it looks like things might be over with this girl....

Just a recap, she responded the next morning saying "I'm free tomorrow".

I responded 4 hours later:

3:45PM me: Great What time works?
9:10 AM her: Good morning! what did you have in mind? (she responds the next day)
10:00 AM me: I was thinking we can meet at XXX and have some drinks.
10:52AM her: Can we have dinner there? I'll be hungry, I won't have enough time to eat, today is such a crazy day.
11:10AM me: They don't have too much for food there. Meet me at my building and we can go somewhere else that has food
1:34 PM her: I'm sorry XXX, we need to cancel, my tooth is killing me and I made an appointment at 5PM with a dentist
me: No problem. I hope you get it taken care of and feel better.
her: thank you!

So... I don't understand why this happens. I've had a similar pattern of a girl doing this in the past. It's like... they are game for the date and then just hours before they change their mind and everything goes downhill.

BTW, I ended up texting her today to see if she was free this coming Thurs. no response... which i was already expecting haha. The text exchange above was last Thurs... so 5 days ago.

I'm trying to understand why this happens. Thanks!

 

[JimmyB]

Let her get in touch with you first. Give it a week or so. If she doesn't reach out try again asking when she's free to get together. If she texts you same deal set up a meet. You're coming on a bit strong with your reaching out and she's backing off.

 

[mindful]

So this was an interesting one. I brought this girl out from the grave today!

I texted her last night around 11PM. I went back and forth whether or not to text, but I've been thinking about her lately and knew she really liked me so it still baffled me that she went cold.

me: hey stranger Hows your friday evening?
her: Hi Josh! I just got back from the bar with friends. How are you?
next morning...
me: Cool. How was that?
me: I fell asleep before you got back to me last night
her: Oh it was trouble (with that hiding eyes monkey face emoticon)

Honestly, I was really surprised by her openness and initial response back. Either way, it seems to be good and I'm at this festival downtown near where I get my haircut and told her to meet me if she is free, and she agrees!

So she meets me and we have a late lunch/drinks. We check out the festival and she buys a few gifts for xmas. After this, I bounce her back to my place and get the lay

On the date I told her I was surprised she texted me back. She then tells me that she wasn't surprised that I texted her and she's been waiting (its been like a month). So since her whole dentist appt seemed like a flake I didn't really inquire about it when I hit her up 5 days later and asked her when she was free. So she didn't like that and never responded. I took her no-response as she wasn't interested especially after she flaked on me with what I thought was a non-legit dentist appt. So, we both had miscommunication - she really did go to the dentist for a root canal and I thought she was brushing off the date - so I never asked her how she was the next time I texted her.

I guess the lesson here is never assume.