Hey Melanie,
Welcome to the boards! Although this website is obviously geared towards getting men to improve themselves to become the types of men that women dream of being with, advice certainly
can be given to women to increase their chances of finding -- and successfully landing -- these types of men.
As I now have some rather extensive experience both dating and being with beautiful women (inside and out) in relationships, I think I can at least relay to you some advice that I would
personally give women if they wanted to be with elite quality men that truly satisfy them in every aspect of their lives. My advice may not be as dramatic and romantic as most women would like it to be (although you have seemed to realize that you need to put in some effort as well, so maybe this isn't news to you), but the advice
will help you get into relationships with the type of men that your girlfriends could only dream about.
On meeting new men and getting dates:
1)
Don't assume the man of your dreams is going to find you at a location that isn't meant to meet women. Although Chase and the other writers on this website give advice on how to meet women during the day,
it is extremely uncommon to be approached by a stranger during the day and actually have him be not only genuinely interested in being with you but also know how to move things forward to make it actually happen. I highly suggest you go to social events and/or bars and lounges so that you can be approached by men. Just like it's a numbers game for men, it is also a numbers game for women. The more you put yourself in a position to be approached by men, the more options you will have of meeting one who ends up liking you (and that you like back as well)!
2)
Don't accept offers from men to go home with them on the same day or night that you met them unless you are just looking for a one-night stand. The only decent way to increase your chances of finding men who are genuinely interested in seeing you more than once is to get them to ask you on a date
first. Most men abide by the rule that "a woman who won't go to bed with me immediately must be higher value." Your goal here is to make the guy have to work to get you home with him... with that being said...
3)
Be assertive with getting dates. This is something that most (younger) women don't do that can put you miles above the rest.
When you've found a guy that has piqued your interest, tell him that you two should grab a drink sometime. You'd be surprised how many men are interested in a woman and don't catch the hints that she's sending that she'd like to see him again. If the guy is at least relatively socially savvy and interested, he'll accept your offer, take down your number, and then contact you for a date in the near future. You can also use this technique to deflect an offer for a one-night stand. For example, if a guy you are interested in says something along the lines of the following:
Guy: Well I'm having a great time! We should go back to my place and hang out a little longer.
Respond with something like the following:
Well, I'd love to, but I have work early in the morning, and I need to get sleep. How about we get together and grab drinks sometime this week, instead?
Men are usually attracted to this type of assertiveness and rarely experience it from women -- it shows that you are calm, experienced, and that you don't give yourself up so easily.
On texting men:
1)
Let him be the one to text you first. Women generally know this rule anyway, but even if you really like the guy, make sure you stick to it.
2)
Take time to respond to texts to filter out the needy and/or weak and demanding men. Needy men get worried when a girl doesn't text them back in 1 hour. By taking time to respond to guys' texts, you get a chance to see their true colors. Will they be cool about it? Will they start spamming you with texts asking why you aren't responding? Will they actually ask you out quickly? Taking time to respond to texts usually answers all of these questions.
3)
When he finally does ask you out on a date, assuming he takes into consideration your time and schedule, do your best to accept the offer and actually go on the date. Too many women these days try to get men to "chase them over text." Men who are higher quality don't bother with women who want to play games and draw out getting together. We simply go out again the next weekend and replace you with someone just as attractive who is willing to move things forward and not waste our time.
(NOTE: If you are genuinely busy, you can cancel and let him know that you would like to re-schedule so that he knows you aren't just blowing him off.)
4) And finally, as a general rule for texting a guy you are seeing and/or are in a relationship with,
make sure to give him space. Don't contact him too much or get nosey about what he's doing every hour of the day. Men don't like that.
On sex:
1)
If you really want to be satisfied with a man you can spend the rest of your life with, you need to remove any inhibitions you have about sex. Ross has already touched on this, but sex is an extremely important aspect of a healthy relationship. You will likely encounter two types of men if you choose to withhold sex until marriage:
- Type 1) The men who just won't do it. This will be the most common barrier. When you really think about it, you are putting yourself on quite a pedestal by trying to convince a guy that you are so amazing that you are worth waiting months (and probably years) for to have sex with. I can tell you from personal experience that the highest quality women that I have dated, and the ones I wanted to keep around, were usually the women who had sex with me within the first three dates. These were women that gave me the emotional highs that no other women could give me, and I've been in situations where I have waited months to have sex with a girl just to have it be "not so special" and have her not turn out to be the woman I thought she was. This is just experience talking.
Type 2) The weak men who will put you on a pedestal. These are the guys who will become needy later, and possibly even highly controlling or jealous once your relationship gets under way. And even if they don't become needy or jealous, they probably won't be able to satisfy all of your needs because there is a huge lack of experience. The last thing you want to hear is your girlfriends gloating about how "amazing" their guy is in bed or how much of calm, suave, sexy man he is while you can't say the same about yours. It'll rub off on you, and it'll only make you crave a relationship outside of the one you are already engaged in.
2) As Ross mentioned, and although not a deal-breaker,
the better you are in the bedroom, the more likely he is to stick around. Just like women enjoy men who know how to give them great sex, men also love women who know how to do the same for them. Highly-sought-after men have usually had their fair share of women in the bedroom, which means they are accustomed to lots of women being inexperienced and boring after several rolls in the hay. The more you can tease him, turn him on sexually, and make him feel like a "true man," the more you will have him craving you like none other. Men enjoy the feeling of being sexually dominant, and if you're good in bed, you'll make him feel like a million bucks -- and he'll also be more likely to return the favor.
3)
Do attempt to keep moving things forward after you two have slept together. If you've been seeing your man for roughly three months and you two aren't exclusive,
you'll need to ask where things are going. Men generally hate this question, but to protect yourself from getting emotionally hurt, you need to know if you should continue seeing this guy so that he isn't just drawing out a relationship that isn't going anywhere. Up until this point, you need to remain passive, however.
4)
Don't settle for a man who can't satisfy you in the bedroom. It will only lead to stress on your end down the road. The man you spend the rest of your life with doesn't have to give you the "best" sex you've ever had, but he better damn well be able to give you orgasms and make you feel like a real woman!
On relationships:
1)
Don't be needy and nosey. Give your man his space when he wants it and let him "watch the football game with the crew" or do what it is he wants to do. Trying to control him is only going to lead to arguments and hostility. Just like quality men should be providing you with only good emotions, you should be trying to do the same for him.
NOTE: With that being said, if there is something that is truly bothering you about him or your relationship, you need to make sure he is aware of it. Guy are sometimes pretty oblivious to when a girl is trying to let him know that something is wrong, and it usually just ends up blowing up in both of your faces.
2)
No matter how much you might dislike one or several of his friends, always be warm, friendly, and nice to them. If you want your man to feel and treat you like you are his prize, the best way to do it is to remind his closest friends how awesome you are. Every guy likes to hear from his friends how "lucky" he is to have you, and it'll remind him of what a catch you are. Also, the last thing you want is for his friends to be talking behind your back to him about how "he can do better" or how there are "tons of better girls out there for him." It'll eventually wear him down and cause him to choose a side. You don't want to be in a situation where your man is choosing between his close friends and you. Create a team frame with the people that are closest to him, and you'll cement a place in his heart.
3) As mentioned above,
give him good sex and make him feel like a man. Every once in awhile when you two are alone, throw on some sexy lingerie and work on your "seductive voice and eye contact" to turn him on. It is well understood that men are supposed to lead the women to sex, especially in this day and age, but a woman sometimes taking the initiative to do this is heavily undervalued these days. I can guarantee he'll be reliving those scenarios in his head for years to come.
4)
Don't settle for anything less than what I have described above. You admitted in your original post that Chase knows more about what women want than they do themselves. And this is true. Chase is here to help men realize what it is that women truly want so that we can give it to them and show them things they didn't even know were possible. I've had women tell me that I've given them experiences that they thought were only possible in movies -- several have even admitted they've had sexual fantasies about me. But if it wasn't for the advice that Chase has given here on this website, I wouldn't have been able to do so. At least not without the years of commitment that Chase has given to really understand what it takes to become this type of man. For that, I thank him.
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There are good guys on this forum. If you have more questions, Melanie, don't be shy about posting. Everyone here will do what they can to give you truthful, honest answers that will improve your dating and relationship life.
Cheers,
Franco
