New guy - when should I start?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys - here is my situation and what I wanted your opinion on:

Reading all these articles really inspired me to get back into the swing of things - dating again. I've never been the most confident guy. I've always been overweight and only had 2 relationships both were over two years. My goal is to lose about 30 lbs before beginning my first newbie assignment, which at my current pace wouldn't be too long.

But is that really right? Should I wait to start? I don't want to waste my time if women will just auto-reject. At the same time everything I've read says the only way you get better with women is to just go out there and "get your feet wet".

So I'm reaching out now, what do you guys think? If I do attempt now wouldI be messing up with women that I potentially could meet later and have a more confident/stronger approach?

Thanks for any help/opinions on the topic~
-Seth

 

[Franco]

Hi Seth,

But is that really right? Should I wait to start? I don't want to waste my time if women will just auto-reject. At the same time everything I've read says the only way you get better with women is to just go out there and "get your feet wet".

So I'm reaching out now, what do you guys think? If I do attempt now wouldI be messing up with women that I potentially could meet later and have a more confident/stronger approach?

I would certainly at least continue reading the material on this website and, if you can get yourself enough momentum, to at least try talking to women while you are working on losing the weight. If you feel self-conscious about your weight and your ability to attract women, then don't even make "courting" a woman your initial goal. Make your initial goal to "approach women and get to know them." That way, when you end a conversation with a girl (whether it's you or her that ends the conversation), you'll say to yourself, "hey, I did what I set out to do!" But if you make your goal, "I want to bring home a beautiful girl" and then go out and fail to do that, you are going to start blaming things outside of what the real issue might be (and instead blame things such as your weight).

Also, it would be a good idea to start working on overcoming your approach anxiety while you work on your physical goals; that way, when you do reach that weight that you want to be at, you'll be ready to take the next step! If you don't at least go out and practice approaching women, then you'll reach your ideal weight and suddenly realize that you aren't capable of even approaching a girl yet, so it will feel pointless. So I would advise starting now.

Hope this helps!

- Franco