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[student94]

Hi guys, so I've been doing about 5-15 cold approaches a day for the past 2 weeks. I get great reactions, flattered looks, "thats so bold", and i get numbers fine. My approach anxiety is very low now and I pretty will go up to any girl I am really attracted to. However, I have trouble getting dates, and more specifically, extending the interaction beyond small talk. I use pretty much the same opener for everyone, and it seems to work fine in terms of getting their smile and laugh and everything, which is usually a compliment in the form of "you are adorable, i had to come meet you" or some variation of it. And always introduce myself. Ask them what they're up to, where they're from, what they like to do, and pretty much very uninteresting stuff. Most of the time they are happy to answer the questions and are still intrigued, but I think that I could be doing a lot better if I knew how to become more polarizing and fun to be with. As of now, I feel like I'm a pretty boring person. Any tips?

Thanks

 

[NarrowJ]

Believe me, they don't think you're "boring" if you're approaching them direct. Normal guys don't do that, so that instantly makes you "different" than other guys they meet. You're bold, confident, and don't give a fuck. And women love that. So, stop thinking you're anywhere near being boring to them.

What I would ask you is:

1. Are you asking for a date when you ask for their number? Make sure your intent is clear, that you're not just going to get their number and start texting them about "how's your day?" like some weirdo hanger-on.

2. Get the date/number on a high point in the interaction. She needs to be smiling or laughing when you ask for a date and get her digits. Read about emotional cresting.

3. Use yes ladders. Read up on this also. The more you get her saying "yes" the more likely she is going to say "yes" when you ask for a date/her number.

4. How's your text game? There are shit ton of articles and posts on here about texting girls. I highly suggest you read them. This sounds like (with my limited knowledge of your situation) it could be your problem.

5. Going to drive it home with this: the old saying "you never get a second chance to make a first impression" is definitely true. If you talk to her for 3 minutes about how's her day and all that, it's not going to go as well when setting up a date as it will if you're able to get 7-10 minutes with her talking about things she likes and what she likes to do etcetera. If she feels a connection, she will definitely want to meet you for coffee

Hope that helps, bro!
NJ

 

[student94]

Thanks for the response! I always get the number after asking to meet up sometime that week. However, it's not always after a high point, mostly after I run out of things to say or ask. What are some ways I could move from small talk to talking about her?

 

[Franco]

Hey student,

This recent thread might be able to give you some guidance:

Sticking Point: First Dates

- Franco

 

[student94]

Thanks for the responses guys! I tried some of the tips and went out last night and got 3 dates for this week! It's crazy, one of them was 34! (which is significantly older than I am). Conversations went better, but were still short. I'll be working on finding ways to enjoy the moment more.