Re: Nick's Journal (PrettyDecent)
Marty - Now that you mentioned it, I should PM Laowai. I know what you mean about his "firm" opinion on LMR; it's certainly it's own niche brand, and his style may be more suited to my game. But yeah, I go
ham on my first dates about pushing things forward, and I never do it during the escalation window, so I usually end up with awesome beginnings and lame (shit) endings haha; for this and other reasons I usually don't push for second dates, but your opinion is making me reconsider. Thanks as always, my friend!
Ozz - Funny you say that, because I used that as a recurring chase frame in our interaction ("Stop looking at me like that! I need another trust test before that's OK!"). Haha.
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Going out tonight, so I'm going to (attempt to) make yesterday's report short.
Yesterday I was feeling a bit of pressure to get as far as I have the other 2 days. I was also feeling a bit of AA. I think it comes from having large expectations before starting the interaction. So I changed my mindset to: "As long as I approach, then I've already won", and after a direct opening, I was back in the game
.
First Notable Set
Had a rejection before the first notable set - I sat down at a public theater in our inner city where an outdoor event stood - our city is a bit abnormal haha. Anyways, I sit down next to two girls, one blonde and one brunette. The brunette girl is prettier, but she's on her phone and she looks overall a little closed off. So I looked at the blonde girl and opened by asking what all the commotion in the theater is about. She replies something about Yoga, but its apparent she has a French accent, so I use this to transition to a normal conversation. The brunette never acknowledges me, and the blonde tells me its because she's talking to her boyfriend. But she never interrupted us (imaginary fist bump to girl). I was curious to see how much compliance I could get - so here's the compliance stack I used -
- Asked where her white watch is from (she extends her arm to show me, but she's sitting at least 8 feet away)
- Extended my arm to exchange names, holding it out in the air until she physically moved
- She complies, and is hovering over me while I'm still sitting down, and gives me her name
- I tell her to sit down in front of me
- Tell her to tell me about a few more topics
This is where she invites me over to the bar where her and her friend are going later. I said maybe, and grabbed her phone number. Thing is, the bar they were talking about was a
15 second walk away, and I should have told them that we're going there now, and then isolated and escalated with the blondie a little later. I realize this about 5 minutes after I left the set.
*forehead smack*
Second Notable Set
Kept approaching. Got boyfriend rejected a few more times. I leave these rejections in to show that success has to do with
how you handle rejection. Not whether or not you get rejected, period; that's impossible.
Moving on - I'm walking around the city and spot a girl sitting and smoking across the street when I think of a witty opener, so I figure I have to go open her now! She's smoking a cigarette and texting on her phone, so I sit down on the same bench next to her and pull out my phone as well. I unlock my phone like I'm legitimately just about to check my phone, then I took a side glance to her as if I
just noticed her. I do a double take, and on the second time I say "You know, smoking isn't good for you" with a playful, sexy glance (don't know how else to describe it over a blog post, lol). She starts laughing, and starts telling me about how someone just told her that smoking is good, so there's a playful vibe going on.
Anyways, I keep my cool and demeanor, and we're exchanging some nice rapport. It was apparent that she was also socially in-tune (as very attractive women tend to be). At one point, we discuss how she just moved into town last week, and is in the city tonight to meet people at a meet-up group.
(don't remember conversation before this)
Me: Well, then I'll be your tour guide. How about I show you around the city? (Mistake to frame it like this, and I noted this in my last entry)
Her: What? I hardly know you! You could be a complete psycho! *smiling and laughing, but I can tell this is a sign she's uncomfortable.*
Me: My god, you're kidding me. YOU could be the psycho! Who am I dealing with here...!?
*We laugh some more, and then I change the subject*
a little bit later (it's also important to note that I'm fighting negative compliance momentum at this point...she won't give)
*during a high point in the conversation where we are both laughing*
Me: Hey, you should grab your stuff, we're about to get going.
Her: Well, I would...but I'm already here for the meet up group, and I got a big day tomorrow at work. Plus, I'm so tired, I don't think I can.
Me: Tell you what. *and I lean in slightly* let's go on an adventure right now. You could go to a meet-up any day of the week, but you only make a connection with someone on a bench like this, on a night like this...when...if ever? Come on, grab your stuff and I'll show you this great cafe in town.
Her: Hmm...OK! Let me grab my stuff from upstairs and pay my bill. I'll be back down here...and I'll meet you on this bench?
Me: Sounds great, [her name]. See you in a second.
I wait for 8 minutes, and she walks back down where I'm sitting. She's smiling but she has her arms crossed. I think she's still a bit uncomfortable, so as we walk I try to steer the conversation toward comfort-building rather than bantering or playfulness. Jury's out whether or not that was the correct move or not. That excited energy was diminished, and now that I read this article on
turning a women on, I think it was her
anticipation toward intimacy; especially since I just overcame some heavy resistance and reversed some negative compliance momentum.
As you all know...having a girl change your set process leads to, well, not good things happening. She was testing every decision I made, and insisted we go to other places than I had planned. Here's an example -
Me: So, be honest, are you feeling hungry at all?
Her: Hmm...not really. We could grab something light, though!
Me: Cool, cool. Well, I was thinking we should grab chocolate over there. You like chocolate?
Her: Yeah...well, a little bit.
Me: OK, well I'll give you a choice: we can go to the chocolate place, or we're going to the public theater next to it.
Her: *doesn't say anything as we pass by the chocolate place, and we're near the public theater* Actually, I am feeling kind of hungry. Let's go somewhere to eat
Me: There are some places down there we could eat at, let's go try those.
This was difficult. I couldn't figure whether to ignore the test altogether and say "we're going to eat at the chocolate place, then, missy!", or if that would've been seen as not valuing her opinion enough (and therefore her as a person), and agreeing we should go eat somewhere, instead. In hindsight, choice #1 seems the way to have gone. Nevertheless, the night was moving ahead, and I had new tests to defeat.
We get to the end of the street where she says we should sit down for her to smoke, which I reluctantly do. This is the first time I've had a girl seriously challenging my authority; wasn't really prepared for this. She then asks me in a somewhat related subject "Where do you live?" and then "is it far from here" THEN "do you usually take a bus from here?" missed that one. Woops! Then she says we should go to the bar, and she ignores my compliance to where we should sit. And then, she said we should leave altogether. What the f***...??
So this is where I say "Alright missy, you had your turn, it's time for me to lead. We're going to GYG for some delicious Mexican food." En route to GYG, we pass by another Mexican restaurant, and she tests me again: "Why don't we just eat here, instead?". I said "This place is slow, and GYG is much better. Come on." I was getting pretty annoyed at this point about her tests and getting such negative compliance. Out of the blue, this all came from!
We get to GYG, and she's deliberate about her order, asking me what I usually get, and so forth. Throughout the entirety of the interaction, she's making an attempt to lead, and I'm trying to get the control back (as per the advice in this article:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-g ... er-stomach.
We sit at a table, and she's challenging me a bit more about random stuff. But we start talking, and she's really pressing hard to find more about me. So I think, we'll try this method! I give her very vague answers, but she's giving me piercing EC. Weird, she didn't do this when we were talking about her. I don't know if this is a sign of interest or her social savviness showing (and she truly was extremely socially in-tuned), or in hindsight, whether she was telling me to get her the F*** out of there! HINT:
IT WAS THE THIRD OPTION! *FOREHEAD SMACK*.
Anyways, I ask to see her fingernails, and she refuses for me to see her hands. She's also less visibly excited than she was earlier...in fact, her mood level dropped more and more since we initially left for the instant-date. So I stop giving her attention completely to get her to re-engage. I was emotionally upset at this point for the compliance she wasn't giving me.
We leave, and I decide, "I'm going for the pull now" *FOREHEAD SMACK*. She doesn't give, and eventually we say our goodbyes. It ended upon a more pleasant note than my other dates, and she never went into auto-rejection.
So, moral of the story: extremely attractive women give very subtle signs to pull, weaved into conversation that otherwise disguises their intentions to the socially un-attuned. A case of plausible deniability. And the thing is, I couldn't even figure out what happened until I
wrote this. Literally, writing this story over keys made me realize all the small things I missed out on.
I'll probably run into tests and subtlety like this for many more sets to come. And I look forward to seeing if I can win next time
~Nick
