Night game mindset challenges

[Beam]

The last few times I’ve gone out on my own at night I’ve really struggled to engage with anyone. The reason is that I feel like a total outsider. For reference, I’m 27 and a minority (Don’t worry, I’m not going to blame that on anything, I know better than that). But I struggle with it, because when I go out, I hardly see anyone like me, just groups of guys and girls in their late teens/early 20s. For reference, where I live (Australia), the legal age to start going out is 18 so I’m equivalent to a 30 year old in US terms.

I find it difficult to break in to groups – when I try to engage groups in conversation, I get polite conversation but generally get dismissed. They all seem to be having a great time together. The guys (who are 5 – 9 years younger than me) are generally more physically attractive than me (or so I think) and have more relationship experience to boot (I met a 19 year old on Friday night out on his own that just got out of a two year relationship).

It’s constantly in the back of my mind that I don’t belong and that they’re all thinking the same thing. I just feel like I’ve already veered into “ordinary older man” territory and that terrifies me.

How do you guys deal with feelings like this? How do you break in to these younger groups when you’re an outsider like this and don’t have that proven experience?

Should I just cut my losses and try to find venues with an older clientele and leave the 18/19 year old crowd behind for good because I already failed over the last 9 years?

 

[BigPapa]

I never really liked the party places that much myself . One thing is to go there with your friends and see what happens , and one things is to go there for girls on your own or with a wingman .
I would just go to bars and places like that , where the average age is a little bit higher .

 

[Eternity]

Stick to the 21+ crowd. More mature and know the score if they're in a bar or club. Younger don't have the experience yet with these venues, hence the high school mentality you see with them. Social circle game is all they know or online game but remember most young kids are clueless with game and rely on luck. Somewhat easy to make young girls cheat if they like you. But, stick to the legal adult route, less headaches.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Dude you’re not old and you thinking they’re better looking than you because they’re a few years younger isn’t true.

Maybe they do look better, but it isn’t about age at all.

You’re at the age of peak attractiveness as said by Chase.

I wouldn’t try to fit in with younger people, I feel weird about that as well.

Just be solo and sleep with early 20 chicks if you want, but try to find friends that are your age.

 

[Beam]

I know objectively I'm not old but old relative to them. And they're not better looking because they're younger, but they do look more masculine. Now I am a pretty good looking dude (I've been told multiple times sometimes by complete strangers and my coach) but that old insecurity still rears its ugly head from time to time- probably because my body is not where I want it to be at the moment.

Speaking of wingmen, most of my friends are not really into this sort of scene, the one who sort of is and does really well for himself looks like he's going to be going into a relationship soon. I do have a bunch of other students who were on the same coaching program I was on that I could probably hit up. They're mostly in their mid 30s but I guess that would help with finding more 21+ venues.

Still, if I target 21+ I kind of feel like it'll always be in the back of my mind that I missed out on sleeping with all those hot 18/19 year olds.

 

[Sub-Zero]

I know objectively I'm not old but old relative to them. And they're not better looking because they're younger, but they do look more masculine. Now I am a pretty good looking dude (I've been told multiple times sometimes by complete strangers and my coach) but that old insecurity still rears its ugly head from time to time- probably because my body is not where I want it to be at the moment.

Speaking of wingmen, most of my friends are not really into this sort of scene, the one who sort of is and does really well for himself looks like he's going to be going into a relationship soon. I do have a bunch of other students who were on the same coaching program I was on that I could probably hit up. They're mostly in their mid 30s but I guess that would help with finding more 21+ venues.

Still, if I target 21+ I kind of feel like it'll always be in the back of my mind that I missed out on sleeping with all those hot 18/19 year olds.

21 ain’t that far from 18- 19 lol. I see guys really lust for girls at these ages, which I can guess is because they have less mileage on them? Idk but I’ll tell you to me, the pussy is the same. I haven’t fucked that many women in their 30s, but 18-29 pussy feels the same.

You should think more about attraction than age imo, if she happens to be a certain age then ok.

You guys need to realize that most of these young women aren’t that attractive and you should be thinking, “she looks too young, idk if I want her” instead of “I’m too old for her, she won’t want me”. You gotta make it seem like her being a young is a problem to get with you, it’s her problem.

Don’t count yourself out though, if you want girls 18-19 see what happens, if it doesn’t work out then move on.

You’re not that old to pull them because of age tbh, if they want an older man, you’re age is probably the oldest they’ll go.

Anyway, what’s your story? Why have you missed out on girls from 18-19 from when you were younger?

 

[BigPapa]

when I was till like 28 I was always looking for older women as I could actually have a conversation with them

sex is always better if you also feel a connection with her , and to feel that you need to be able to have at least a nice conversation

my 2 cents

 

[BigPapa]

I think that women between 23 and 30 are the best , with a peak between 26 - 28 .

 

[Beam]

I guess I want 18-19 year olds purely for the validation of it (probably not a good reason) and because I never had them.

Anyway, what’s your story? Why have you missed out on girls from 18-19 from when you were younger?

I was absolutely clueless with girls when I was younger. Only lost my v-card in my mid 20s so I've been playing catch up ever since. I did have opportunities with girls, but it never happened because:

a) I was too socially awkward and didn't know how to pull them home and didn't even try to learn because I thought looks were all that mattered (to be fair in my late teens/early 20s I did work on that and got waay better looking, that's when I realized I still didn't know what the hell to do even though I was getting attention now) and

b) the ones who I knew were interested from social circle I rejected because I didn't think they were attractive enough - in retrospect I should have just gone for those ones to get the reference experience but hey, I clued on eventually.