- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
I went out on Saturday night and engaged with a few girls. I've found a new sticking point of mine. I've been doing this for years and years:
a. At the bar I spotted a very attractive tall blonde woman - she looked a bit bitchy. Later on I was next to her and I noticed she had 5 earrings on one ear. I told her that I'd never seen anyone with that many earrings in one ear before. She beamed, laughed and told me that she had ten, five in each ear. We chatted a little bit more, I asked her name, then ran out of things to say because I didn't know how to escalate, played it cool and stopped talking to look at the bar again. Dope. When she left I said it was nice meeting her.
I ran into her multiple times that night - the next time at the bar again, she recognized me and seemed happy to see me. The next time at the toilets. The next time downstairs outside the dance floor, with a friend of hers (the friend was shorter, overweight and not very attractive). We kept joking about running into eachother. When we were outside the dance floor I told her I'd lost my friends and that they might be on the dance floor. She suggested we go dance and find them (as a group, not suggestively). I had a feeling at this point I'd already missed my chance from the previous interactions and now it was firmly platonic. We went to the dance floor and I separated from them, then found my friends. I did this because I didn't know how to break in and escalate, and also because I thought I'd missed my chance already so it would have been awkward trying now. Also because there were two of them and I would have had to separate her from her friend which I didn't know how to do. Should have escalated in the very first interaction I had with her but didn't know how past getting her name. It was too early to dance so I couldn't suggest that.
b. At the bar I was filling up water, and it exploded out and went all over my hand. The two girls next to me laughed and we joked about how powerful it was. I then asked them how their night was going. The cute redhead near me confessed that she had seen her ex tonight, and that they hadn't been together for years. She said he was over that side of the bar *pointing in another direction*. We joked about that for a bit, and I asked her name, but I was unsure how to escalate.. So I played it cool, asked them if they were going to dance later, they said yes, and I said I might see them there later and left.
c. I saw a couple of girls sitting down, including one who looked bored. I went and sat down next to her confidently, and asked her how her night was going. She smiled and told me it was fun. We had a good convo, and talked about how it was too crowded on the dance floor. I said we should try bringing the dance floor here. She laughed and said that would be a good idea. I'm not sure how it ended but I'm pretty sure I didn't know how to escalate, played it cool, bowed out and told her I might see her on the dance floor later.
I should note that none of these girls seemed particularly flirty, just friendly (That might be because they were mirroring my platonic body language). But I bowed out every time because I didn't know how to escalate. Here's how it usually goes at night:
- Approach woman at night and give her a bold compliment/insight.
- Engage in light chit chat, get her name. Incorporate light touch.
- Run out of things to say/unsure about how to escalate if it's early and so play it cool and bow out, cementing me in her mind as a fun, friendly stranger instead of a mysterious, fun, possible lover.
I have to work out where to go after getting her name. Need to make my intentions clear, find out if she's single, deep dive, and build rapport, fast, so that she's comfortable giving me her number or moving with me within 5 minutes. Need to maintain the fun, playful attitude when doing this.
a. At the bar I spotted a very attractive tall blonde woman - she looked a bit bitchy. Later on I was next to her and I noticed she had 5 earrings on one ear. I told her that I'd never seen anyone with that many earrings in one ear before. She beamed, laughed and told me that she had ten, five in each ear. We chatted a little bit more, I asked her name, then ran out of things to say because I didn't know how to escalate, played it cool and stopped talking to look at the bar again. Dope. When she left I said it was nice meeting her.
I ran into her multiple times that night - the next time at the bar again, she recognized me and seemed happy to see me. The next time at the toilets. The next time downstairs outside the dance floor, with a friend of hers (the friend was shorter, overweight and not very attractive). We kept joking about running into eachother. When we were outside the dance floor I told her I'd lost my friends and that they might be on the dance floor. She suggested we go dance and find them (as a group, not suggestively). I had a feeling at this point I'd already missed my chance from the previous interactions and now it was firmly platonic. We went to the dance floor and I separated from them, then found my friends. I did this because I didn't know how to break in and escalate, and also because I thought I'd missed my chance already so it would have been awkward trying now. Also because there were two of them and I would have had to separate her from her friend which I didn't know how to do. Should have escalated in the very first interaction I had with her but didn't know how past getting her name. It was too early to dance so I couldn't suggest that.
b. At the bar I was filling up water, and it exploded out and went all over my hand. The two girls next to me laughed and we joked about how powerful it was. I then asked them how their night was going. The cute redhead near me confessed that she had seen her ex tonight, and that they hadn't been together for years. She said he was over that side of the bar *pointing in another direction*. We joked about that for a bit, and I asked her name, but I was unsure how to escalate.. So I played it cool, asked them if they were going to dance later, they said yes, and I said I might see them there later and left.
c. I saw a couple of girls sitting down, including one who looked bored. I went and sat down next to her confidently, and asked her how her night was going. She smiled and told me it was fun. We had a good convo, and talked about how it was too crowded on the dance floor. I said we should try bringing the dance floor here. She laughed and said that would be a good idea. I'm not sure how it ended but I'm pretty sure I didn't know how to escalate, played it cool, bowed out and told her I might see her on the dance floor later.
I should note that none of these girls seemed particularly flirty, just friendly (That might be because they were mirroring my platonic body language). But I bowed out every time because I didn't know how to escalate. Here's how it usually goes at night:
- Approach woman at night and give her a bold compliment/insight.
- Engage in light chit chat, get her name. Incorporate light touch.
- Run out of things to say/unsure about how to escalate if it's early and so play it cool and bow out, cementing me in her mind as a fun, friendly stranger instead of a mysterious, fun, possible lover.
I have to work out where to go after getting her name. Need to make my intentions clear, find out if she's single, deep dive, and build rapport, fast, so that she's comfortable giving me her number or moving with me within 5 minutes. Need to maintain the fun, playful attitude when doing this.
