nino's Newbie Assignment

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
Howzit everybody!

Allow me to start by introducing myself. I'm Nino, 20 years old and live in the beautiful city of Durban, South Africa. While I don't necessarily have a terrible past with women, I had never been that great with them, either. And while being together with the same girl for more than 2 years was certainly one of the best feelings in life for me, it didn't help me become better at flirting, meeting new girls or anything in that regard.

So, when beautiful things come to end, in this case 3 months ago, you're there alone not knowing what to do. In fact, I didn't know what to do for an entire two months before I finally decided to do something about it! I searched the internet for help and got out. It all started with some eye contact flirts I did with a girl I met at the Spanish class I signed up for. Not knowing how to move on from there, tho, I asked the internet for even more and this is how I found GirlsChase.

While things cooled off bad with that girl, I got to know a lot more girls, and hooked up with a few of them. However, I met all of them in clubs during night life only and while it's a great feeling and a great way to distract myself from my relationship, I simply am someone who looks for something serious (although until I find that I'll happily continue to meet that one girl every now and then at her place ;) Hopefully it will be with more soon!).

Clubs are definitely not the right place to look for a relationship. And this is were this Journal comes into play. I stumbled upon Chase's Newbie Assignment and I thought hey, this is an awesome thing for me to try out! First of all, the Journal section was one of the features of the forums I was looking forward to a lot and second, this is just an easy to follow plan.

My plan now is to start doing this assignment tomorrow already! Now because of reading GirlsChase a lot, and I mean lot, I practiced a few of those tasks already. But I don't want to overdo anything so I will really focus on the tasks day by day and keep everything at its place. Although I wouldn't know why I shouldn't continue work on my walk while looking for some places to hang around ;)

Also, I'm trying to complete the 11 day assignment in, well, 11 days! Let's see if I can really do it.

For today, I think I'll scan through the 3 articles again to get me all set and ready to go!

Looking forward to the journey and thanks for stopping by :)
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
Hey nino, I liked your introduction, I think I'll do one as well. Reading about your experiences makes me want to share my own even more. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for more of your journal entries. Good luck, man!
 

Eric

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
136
You REALLY ought to remember to open from the side. Beware of directly approaching at first, as your vibe will scare girls. Once you get a few on your belt you can stop thinking about how your body is positioned, but the combination of nervousness/high energy and a direct aggressive approach is really startling.
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
AFCnoob said:
Hey nino, I liked your introduction, I think I'll do one as well. Reading about your experiences makes me want to share my own even more. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for more of your journal entries. Good luck, man!

Thanks for the warm words!

omgosh said:
You REALLY ought to remember to open from the side. Beware of directly approaching at first, as your vibe will scare girls. Once you get a few on your belt you can stop thinking about how your body is positioned, but the combination of nervousness/high energy and a direct aggressive approach is really startling.

Good heads up! Because while I (now) remember reading this on GirlsChase, I will admit I would have never thought about that, yet when "it's" on. Thanks.
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
Day 1

Here we go, first day of the assignment! All I had to do is to go out and look for 4 places where lots of girls hang out. Sounds like an easy task? I thought so too. But I met with my best friend because we wanted to add to our wardrobes a little anyway, getting ready for summer. I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone right there but turned out he was strictly into shopping today. We didn't even grab some coffee like we always do, but more about that later.

We went to our favorite shopping center and I kept my eyes open for more than just clothes. And there it is, my first place! The shopping center! It's like I ran around with a blindfold or something. I'm here almost every day and I never noticed how many hot girls there are, alone! In fact, they were roaming around rather alone than in groups. So I wonder if anyone has experience in that kind of venue?

After we were done I decided to grab some coffee before my workout today. At first I was kinda disappointed that we hadn't gone there before because it's a place I hang out all the time, it's a place where I knew a lot of beautiful girls my age hang out. By now, I'm glad we didn't go there. First of all, it might have even been cheating. Second, there are even more beautiful girls there in the early evening. And again, they were rather alone than in groups like they are in the afternoons. It also felt just so much more relaxed. Hopefully, I can brighten up their studying one day ;)

Going to the cafe a bit later than usual also goes hand in hand with the third place - the gym. It's Wednesday, it's a training day. Usually I train early in the morning because I have no time at noon, and in the afternoon my gym is crowded. Literally 3 people in line per bench. But, as if it was meant to be, Chase posted how to pick up girls at the gym just two days ago! He writes that you should go there at different times to see when and how many girls work out. So I decided to go after shopping instead in the morning and voila, so many more girls. Well, no surprise because the gym's almost empty in the morning but I can definitely say we men were outmatched by quite a bit. Maybe because girls feel more comfortable in the gym when it's not that crowded? Anyway, I'll have to study that article even further! Will continue to work out late on Friday and next week to see if this is the norm.

Finding a 4th place was a bit more difficult since it was late already. Okay okay, I'll admit, today, I went to only the 3 places above. The thing is, I planned on checking out the park but when it's dark nobody's there. And even if I'd happen to spot a girl walking there, the last thing she'd want is some stranger "attacking" her. So yeah, I'll check it out tomorrow. Apart from a 2 hour Spanish class at 3 I have a lot of time tomorrow so I'll visit it a couple of times at different times. A morning walk, lunch in the sun and relaxing after Spanish class all in the park? Sounds good to me!

All in all, I'm pleased with today, especially how things turned around and out! What I did notice, which is about tomorrow's assignment tho, was that while getting lost in the conversation with my friend I had to keep reminding myself to watch my walk and posture. So in preparation for tomorrow I think I'll try to meet up for lunch with some friends and check if I can step up my game (or walk rather).

Thanks for stopping by and see you tomorrow!
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
Sounds like you made some progress there. It is funny how you look at things differently when you have a different purpose--like the fact that your shopping area was always crawling with great girls to meet, you just never intended to! Heheh.

Also, the park after dark, yeah, that would be some hilarious creepo stuff if you were to pop out from behind a bush and try to open a girl like that, lol. Although, you might try it at different times of day. As far as the gym, I'm sure you've read the most recent blog post about picking up girls in the gym? Seems like it would be right up your alley. Good stuff man, can't wait to read more.
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
AFCnoob said:
Sounds like you made some progress there. It is funny how you look at things differently when you have a different purpose--like the fact that your shopping area was always crawling with great girls to meet, you just never intended to! Heheh.

Definitely. Eyes on target.. ;)

Before moving on to Day 2, I did visit the park 3 times like I said. For dating women, I'll avoid the morning. Yeah, there were some pretty one's but all way older than me and just there in order to walk their dogs. While I sure do like animals, I'm not all to crazy about them either and I think I could connect best with those women if I had a dog or pet myself. At noon the park was loaded (luckily the weather wasn't as bad as they had predicted) with lots of people and a lot of beautiful girls. In the late afternoon I experienced something similar to what I experienced yesterday at the cafe - a much more relaxed atmosphere with more girls being alone enjoying the day wind off.
Anyway, on to day 2 !

Day 2

Today's task was all about posture and a sexy walk. I did three things: I watched my own walk and posture, I checked out other people's walk and posture and I tried to watch how others would respond to me.

My walk: Since I started working on my walk thanks to GirlsChase before the newbie assignment I had the advantage of not feeling stupid with the new walk, and albeit not quite natural it does feel comfortable to me already. I keep my legs apart, keep my head and especially my eyes up, looking forward and I lift my chest, I think all in a good way and not exaggerating. The only thing that still needs work is my shoulder movement, it's quite hard to find a way to make it look sexy and feel natural while not overdoing it either.

My biggest issue is my facial expression. I'm still not confident having just that little smile that makes people feel good around you while walking, even though I do know what a positive effect it has on me when I see somebody do it. And a problem I've always had is that my neutral facial expression looks very, very angry. Even my brother who knows me better than anyone else asks me why I'm mad when in reality I'm just in my natural position. I am making progress in that regard, however, as I noticed it several times today and I tried to put a more friendly facet onto my face.

Another thing I've noticed was walking up or downhill. Walking uphill I fixed rather quickly, all it was was that because I started to walk significantly slower I naturally dragged myself up the hill basically, you know, misjudging the speed a little. When walking downhill the speed was fine. But I felt so awkward and I noticed how I walked rather goofily, if that is even a word, hehe. So, I turned around and tried it again. A little better but boy oh boy does that need improvement.

Anyway, on to the next point, observing others.

While walking, I was rather focused on other men's walk to be honest. I wanted to see how they affect the people around them, and how they affect me differently now. And yep, I did notice how different men walked differently and how it made a different expression each time out. There where those guys who looked plain insecure, looking down or constantly checking everything around them. There was that one paranoid guy who made even me nervous. Then there were men, especially teenagers, who swung around with their arms like crazy, moved their shoulders back and forth as they walked and all that combined with a fast paced walking speed. I knew they did that for one reason - trying to get respect from those around them. But quite frankly, I found them to be quite hysterical :) Then there were a few men moving in no notable way, rather (too) slow and if they were super exhausted.

And then, then there were those men who looked good, dressed nicely and had confidence all over them, pride in their eyes and you just knew that they knew they could get any woman they want. I looked up to those men thinking - hey, this is exactly what I want to be one day. And, they all had one thing in common: a powerful, sexy walk..

There where also some men who didn't necessarily were dressed or styled up but showed a lot of confidence with a powerful walk and where I thought okay okay, I wouldn't want to mess with that guy.

Now I also went back to the cafe and sat down, enjoying that relaxed atmosphere I talked about yesterday, watching girls' body language now. To put it in a nutshell, I gained quite some confidence from that because what I observed was quite surprising to me. Girls who weren't that appealing to me had a very introverted posture while those hot girls, even that one 8 or 9 who was sitting alone, were very open. Not only does that make you feel better, it even gives you the cojones to go out and approach them. Well, one day anyway ;)

Quickly on to the last point, how other people reacted to me. And I must admit, I'm absolutely not able to judge that. I guess the "problem" here is that I have never minded that all too much and even if I thought somebody looked at me strangely, I didn't care because I never had confidence issues about myself. So yeah, will need to improve my observation skills there. Only thing I did notice, not only today, is that people now make room for me rather than I for them. Feels great! Hopefully, it's more because of the walk and not that "evil" neutral facial expression of mine :D

A rather lengthy entry today, kudos (and thanks) to you if you made it all the way! Tomorrow's task will be all about eye contact and while I've made some good experiences walking on the street, I'm getting a little nervous doing it in the cafe tomorrow!

So long - Nino
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
Wow, phenomenal. You are really dedicated to your fundamentals man. I really enjoyed reading the details of your experience, and I can relate to several points:

nino said:
The only thing that still needs work is my shoulder movement, it's quite hard to find a way to make it look sexy and feel natural while not overdoing it either.

I am having this problem right now. My posture is fine, but I have no idea how to move my shoulders. I've seen guys do it, both poorly (exaggerated, silly looking) and well (they looked powerful), but I have no idea how to do it myself. This is very strange, because I usually have great control over my body. When I do try it, I just feel silly/awkward, and I'm sure I look like it too. I even watched a few vids on youtube about male modeling and the walk, but I didn't find any details about shoulders.

nino said:
My biggest issue is my facial expression.

Same problem. I've written about this here on the boards actually. It's become less of a problem lately though. When I fee calm and energetic, my expression just takes care of itself. Also, I've found that dressing well and taking a confident posture makes me feel good anyway! The final thing is that I find all of this stuff fun. I look at other people as well--a lot, and I see exactly what you saw: a huge percentage of people just...have no idea, at least they don't look like it, but I'm watching, and thinking, I have a plan and they don't, and it makes me feel like I have this funny secret, and that always puts at least a light smile on my face.

nino said:
Another thing I've noticed was walking up or downhill...

Again, I had/have the same problem. I didn't find good posture hard, but I found it hard to maintain good posture while doing things, getting in and out of a cab, picking up my bag from the ground, opening a door, lifting something up, etc. I think this will go away by itself as I adjust to my new posture and it becomes subconscious. Another weird thing was that when I reverted to my old ways/attitudes, my posture would go right back to what it used to be too. This is very interesting to me.

nino said:
And then, then there were those men who looked good, dressed nicely and had confidence all over them, pride in their eyes and you just knew that they knew they could get any woman they want.

I used to avoid looking at guys, especially good looking guys because well...frankly it seemed a little gay, but now I pay careful (albeit subtle) attention to them. I note the way they're dressed, the way they move, and the vibe I get from them. They come in all shapes and sizes--some look like damn models, some look downright dangerous, and some just look like successful dudes, but they all have something that makes other people take notice, and they certainly stand out. I will continue doing this until I can pin down the exact qualities they have that attract yes, even my eye.

nino said:
Only thing I did notice, not only today, is that people now make room for me rather than I for them.

It was very surprising to me as well. Both men and women react very differently to me now. Before, I would get angry when people tried to walk right through me, or I would find myself hugging the wall on a narrow sidewalk. Now people see me coming from a ways away and make room. Even guys in venues who are much taller than me will get out of my way (provided they see me coming), and some even apologize! I'm average height, and have a thin, athletic build, so I'm definitely not physically intimidating, but it still happens. Another odd thing has started happening: guys will come up to me and try to befriend me for...seemingly no reason. Girls who would have ignored me before are more attentive.

I was in a venue trying to find this one girl and decided to order a drink at the bar, but the service there sucks and I couldn't get the bartender over. Two nice looking girls noticed and actually flagged down the bartender for me, throwing nods my way. Later on, I was making my way past a crowded area and another girl moved a chair aside for me and actually waved me through with a smile. I was (privately) floored by these reactions because they would never happen to me before. Quite interesting.

I really enjoyed your post, and look forward to your report on eye contact. Great stuff!
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
Awesome man! I love it how we share some experiences, definitely great help. But yeah, noticed exactly the same thing - when you slip into a natural habit certain movements become uncontrolled. Actually, on the dropping something topic, I dropped something too today and thinking new walk and posture I must have looked so goddamn silly trying to pick up my card, haha. I just thought "shit". Because I actually never thought I looked silly picking up something (or didn't think it looked silly the way others did it). Guess if it ain't broke don't fix it.

But yeah I'm actually practicing powerful movements all the time now, I even try to maintain a sexy walk at home for a while. As long as it doesn't feel forced (and it doesn't) I'll keep it up.
 

Eric

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
136
nino said:
Awesome man! I love it how we share some experiences, definitely great help. But yeah, noticed exactly the same thing - when you slip into a natural habit certain movements become uncontrolled. Actually, on the dropping something topic, I dropped something too today and thinking new walk and posture I must have looked so goddamn silly trying to pick up my card, haha. I just thought "shit". Because I actually never thought I looked silly picking up something (or didn't think it looked silly the way others did it). Guess if it ain't broke don't fix it.

But yeah I'm actually practicing powerful movements all the time now, I even try to maintain a sexy walk at home for a while. As long as it doesn't feel forced (and it doesn't) I'll keep it up.

If you want good posture while picking stuff up you could wear sunglasses on your shirt.. it will force you to squat instead of lean over which is how you're supposed to pickup things. It helps if they are very expensive ;)
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
omgosh said:
If you want good posture while picking stuff up you could wear sunglasses on your shirt.. it will force you to squat instead of lean over which is how you're supposed to pickup things. It helps if they are very expensive ;)

Ha, sounds like a neat little trick! I've never been a sun glasses kind of guy but I always wanted to be and guess what happens to be on my wishlist for Christmas.. :)
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
Day 3

Today's task was all about eye contact, checking how I feel and how others respond to it. Goal was to make eye contact with at least 10 people, regardless of age and gender. So, with that in mind I decided to go for a walk (it's crazy how much I've been walking just because of this assignment).

1. Person was a guy who was about my age. What a bad way to start the day, and his because he looked kinda scared, I think I intimidated him a little. Same was with person #2, this time a woman about my age. I noticed how she had looked at me first and I responded but basically nailed her down with my gaze and she'd quickly escape.

A couple of things I noticed: first of all, I was still tired and it felt hard to control my eyes. Second, this all happened while we were walking towards each other so there was little time only and I think I started to rush things. Also, they both looked at me first and while it sure wasn't under optimal situations I wonder if it's a general problem of mine, you know, not knowing how to react correctly when I'm being looked at first.

The third eye contact was pretty neat. It was another girl my age and we were both waiting for the robot to turn green. Again she looked at me first. Noticed that thanks to using peripheral vision like suggested by Chase. Maybe cheated a little because I was hoping we should look at me. This time however, I felt no rush and I stuck to the concept. I slowly responded, and then slowly broke the contact again, checking the light and then return my eyes to hers, seeing how she would still look at me and before we were allowed to walk I gave her a little smile. After that I didn't act great, tho as I immediately looked away. When we passed each other I looked at her again but she didn't bother looking at me. What she did do, however, was smiling a little. So even though I screwed up, this made me feel kinda good.

Next person was an elderly man who had something calming about him. This time again we were walking towards each other. Since he noticed me looking at him he looked back and while not smiling, he had a very friendly facet. Had something fascinated about him and I almost ran into him, so we both tried to evade each other back and forth, was kinda funny. While not really observing anything this did brighten up my mood.

Then I had no success whatsoever for quite some time and I met up with my best friend to do even more shopping (talk about girls being shoppaholics..). Good news was, I kept my walk, even if not subconsciously, yet. Still had no success but I made an interesting observation - if two girls were walking around together I found it impossible to make eye contact. Even if they caught a quick glimpse they'd soon return to their chatter.

On our way home, I finally found some success. Had two similar situations. First, there was a very beautiful woman, again my age, standing around and looking at me, heck, even smiling at me already. So I felt kinda confident and started to follow the plan. Time was limited as I was walking, but she was standing still. Once we kept it up a little and I was passing her I gave her a smile, which made her smile even more. Goddammit, why don't I have the guts to say just "Hi." ?

You see, in a club I'm pretty good at picking up women. Sure, it's a venue where something like that is expected and alcohol sure helps, but think about it that way: if she rejects you, you keep running into her as there's limited space. On the street, if she rejects me I'll never ever see her again and not saying hello at all is the same as an rejection. I know that but it won't get into my head. But that's why I'm doing this assignment :)

Anyway, the next girl came shortly after the last one, this time walking towards each other again. Feeling super confident I now didn't rush anything at all and instead of just a smile I even gave her a wink. She looked down but suddenly started to smile very very happily, as if she couldn't even control it. At first I thought "crap, she looked down" because I remember Chase writing a man should never break eye contact looking down. However, that smile wouldn't get out of my head so I said this was a success, this was a success. Back home I quickly scanned the book and found the following:

If a woman looks down after you lock eyes with her, she is signaling to you that she submits – oftentimes a strong sign of attraction.
(quoting the book "How to make Girls Chase" - if I'm violating any rules here please let me know ASAP!

Awesome news! This feels so good right now.

And now, now I'm home writing this. But wait, wasn't the task to make eye contact with at least 10 people? Yes, but my day isn't over yet. It's Friday, it's a training day so now I'll grab some coffee (and check if I can get something going there) and then try to make some eye contact with a girl in the gym. Yesterday, I was nervous about the cafe but now I'm quite confident. The gym, that's what gets me nervous right now!

Reason why I report in already though is that after the gym I won't be home as I'll go a friend's house (shower there, obviously) and get ready for night life. I'll keep you updated tomorrow. Also, what happens in the club will not count toward the assignment! Like I said, I'm good at night already, it's the day game I want to learn, and master.

Anyway, off I am again, thanks for reading and looking forward to tomorrow - actually go out there and say "Hi." Scaaaary !
 

Jeet02

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
112
Nino,

I just came in here, the Journal Section, to check out your posts. Really enjoying them man. Keep up the good work! I definitely want to do it myself...and you are pretty much convincing me to do it.

With that said, I just wanted to touch on a few points. I already try to make as much eye contact with people as possible, especially at work (if that counts for anything) and if they return they eye contact (when we are walking towards each other) I will usually just give a smile or say something like "how are you?" simple as that. It is something normal that people might expect, especially during the day. I ALWAYS get a response. Haven't had one yet where they didnt respond, and if for some reason I run into someone that doesn't, I dont think I want to talk to someone like that on the first place.

Now as far as the "day game" goes, you should definitely do the same. If they are already looking at you just smile and a simple "hi" won't be viewed as creepy or anything. Even if you look at them first, it will just seem alright. And remember, during the day...their "shield" is down. They aren't expecting guys to be hitting on them as much as a bar, and when they do not only is it surprising but refreshing. Also, like you said, if you get rejected, they will just walk away and you won't see them ever again. You got absolutely nothing to lose. And I don't know about you, but I have ran into beautiful girls during the day before, that smiled at me back, and I didn't say anything at all, and I would just regret it to my very core.

Go for it...if you felt confidence already by your walk and what you have been through already, you have no idea how much more confident you will feel when you start talking to them. You already have to do that tomorrow, so I am looking forward to see how it goes.

Best of Luck!
-Jeet
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
4,108
Nino,

nino said:
(quoting the book "How to make Girls Chase" - if I'm violating any rules here please let me know ASAP!

So long as you're not quoting the entire book - quote away!

Cheers,
Chase
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
@ nino: Awesome stuff man. I'm finding it really interesting to watch your daily progress that you've documented so well, and I really enjoyed reading your last entry. I've found eye contact can be really tricky and surprising--especially since I live here in China where strong eye contact is not really a thing, or is considered rude/challenging.

I have the same problem where I will simply look at people, but I tend to have an intense look, so many people are frightened, or seem offended. The only people who actually hold eye contact here are like...mafia. There was one morning where this cab driver came to a hard stop right next to my cab, he was smoking a cigarette and had kind of a silly look on his face I grinned at him, and he smiled back like "yeah, what's up?" It actually kind of brightened my day a bit.

I find it very interesting how much two people can share with just a look, and I'm especially interested about how this applies to women. Anyway, I'm rambling now. Great post, man. I look forward to reading more.
 

nino

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
126
Hey Jeet, thanks for stopping by and your nice words! Your absolutely right in what you've said. I really need to break that mental barrier, once I did it I think it will be so much easier, maybe not second nature, obviously, but it's always about that first step. Also agree on the regretting part, it's actually so much worse than a rejection. But I have a story about that on hand anyway.

@AFC: Yeah, it's interesting. The more I read into it and start doing it actively myself, I find eye contact to be such a fascinating, can you say, phenomena?

Anyway, adding to day 3. So I went to the cafe and now reflecting on yesterday, on my way there I didn't try anything. Can't really explain why, just wasn't thinking about it and rather into "ok, next stop: cafe, make eye contact there". Maybe that's even good, tho, as, no matter how much I love evolving in that regard, this is also a sign that I'm not being obsessive about it!

Okay, busy schedule so I went for a coffee to go only. While waiting, I looked around, spotted a girl near me and saw how she quickly looked away. I took it as "damn, he noticed me staring at him!" Not wanting to stare her down I roamed with my eyes near her, returned and so did she. We locked eyes and started the play. Padding myself right there, I think I did a pretty good job. Eventually, we would just keep our eyes locked, it was no empty staring, it really was an intense sensation. Eventually she started to smile a little, and a little more, and a little more. Her facial expression was just amazing, it was very happy and yet playful, can't really explain it. Anyway, trying to play it cool and not needy, I started to look away again, and back to her, and so on. She was smiling and looking at me the entire time, and did that thing girls do with their lips when they're into it now, you know, basically like in the movies where they slightly bit their lips.
Then my coffee was ready, I took it and then, then came the choke. It could have been perfect, again like in the movies, take it, do that half spin and approach her slowly, playing with the eyes a little and introduce yourself. Instead, I took the coffee, did that half spin in direction exit and moved out. "FU*CK FU*K FU*CK", excuse me. But that's what I thought while leaving, thought when going to sleep, and what I am thinking right now. It couldn't have been any easier. Yep, regret is definitely worse than a rejection.

Thank God I was thinking posture and walk, because without that I would have looked miserably. I mean I'm able to move on but I'm very mad about myself for that. Anyway, moving on, namely to the gym, I had nothing exciting apart from one encounter, I saw a woman in her 30s and thought, heck why not, and gave her a smile. Haha, was she surprised! But I think in a positive way and actually, she smiled back. Rather as a reflex but I'll take it.

In the gym I unfortunately didn't try anything out. Just didn't feel comfortable to do so, even though I've been regularly working out for 2 1/2 years now and feel comfortable in the gym. Guess I need to gradually build it up with the help of Gym Pickup

And that's it, that was day 3. Only 8 people instead of 10 but it's something I'll continue to work on all the time anyway. I can definitely say I've learned and experienced quite a lot and will build from there.

Day 4, actually say "Hi". It's on today, no more chokes allowed. Ready to go out now anyway, I'm still calm. But for how long?
 

AFCnoob

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
161
Great read as usual, I laughed out loud when you left the coffee place rather than talk to the girl, just because of the way you wrote it. Hey, we've all been there. You do have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone eventually but hey, there are plenty of other assignments to help you with that.
 

Jeet02

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
112
Wow man. I feel for you. I have been there quite a few times and it sucks. Now you just start imaging the conversation, how it could have gone if you had actually approached it...and it SUCKS! I don't blame you though, cause that might have been hard for me sometime ago. I don't know about NOW though, maybe it would still be hard too. But in that situation though, it is obvious she wants you to approach her and trust me she will still get nervous once you do as well. And if you dont know what to say, a simple "hi" will probably do as chase suggested.

Was she sitting alone?
 

Eric

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
136
I'm actually impressed. Most people don't have the courage to do stuff like this. Even when I used to take my wingman out I couldn't seem to get him to ask for the time from girls. In bars we are on fire though and have had a dozen or two girls crowding around us... People can be weird without alcohol or not in their environment.. You're doing a lot more than many have already and you're only four days in.
 

Jeet02

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
112
omgosh said:
I'm actually impressed. Most people don't have the courage to do stuff like this. Even when I used to take my wingman out I couldn't seem to get him to ask for the time from girls. In bars we are on fire though and have had a dozen or two girls crowding around us... People can be weird without alcohol or not in their environment.. You're doing a lot more than many have already and you're only four days in.

I agree, you should definitely feel proud of what you have accomplished thus far. You are getting a lot of good feedback already with only your body language, so that's definitely something you should be happy about.
 
Top