"No amount of success will validate you"

[Whizzy]

What you feel internally has a much longer last effect I've found. While results are great, you also have the experience now. If you did it once then you can certainly go out and get laid again right? I believe that part of the problem might be not having something else (school, work, games, whatever) to occupy your mind that much. Is there a reason why you cant go out an approach girls now?

 

[PrettyDecent]

Howdy Ned,

I can't speak for Whizzy, but I believe what he means is this: when you start getting laid consistently, you're not worried about external events because you know it's only a matter of time before you get laid again.

Of course, when you aren't getting consistent results, it's easy to obsess on "why am I not getting laid? Do I have what it takes? What exactly am I doing wrong?" - and, since you're on GC, you're first reaction is to say "well, then I'm going to go out and prove to myself that, if I just work hard enough, I can!" It's anxiety, and you're easing it through taking action.

So when you don't take action, you just feel anxious. That's why I'd consider it impossible to be outcome-independent until you start seeing results consistently. Until then, just keep fighting the good fight like you are.

Anyways, that went on longer than what I think Whizzy was discussing, but hopefully helpful for ya nevertheless.

EDIT: Just realized I didn't talk about Hector's quote. Well, I can only say what I came out of it with - success feels good (and it should, or else you wouldn't strive for it), but ultimately like you mentioned, it's transient. What exactly comes after that, and how you replace it, I can't say from experience - don't think I've reached that level yet

~Nick

 

[Suave]

That's actually a good point you made there OP, when I go out for something and don't approach a girl I should have, I also feel bad inside until I remember the article! But then just as I am about to change my thinking process, my mind starts pondering on the fact that if I never actually kick myself for not getting results, won't I stagnate?

Isn't it the feeling of failure that makes you go out and up to girls more often? Get rejected. Rinse and repeat until you get more success?

I guess we have related problems!

 

[Whizzy]

Howdy Ned,

I can't speak for Whizzy, but I believe what he means is this: when you start getting laid consistently, you're not worried about external events because you know it's only a matter of time before you get laid again.

Of course, when you aren't getting consistent results, it's easy to obsess on "why am I not getting laid? Do I have what it takes? What exactly am I doing wrong?" - and, since you're on GC, you're first reaction is to say "well, then I'm going to go out and prove to myself that, if I just work hard enough, I can!" It's anxiety, and you're easing it through taking action.

So when you don't take action, you just feel anxious. That's why I'd consider it impossible to be outcome-independent until you start seeing results consistently. Until then, just keep fighting the good fight like you are.

Anyways, that went on longer than what I think Whizzy was discussing, but hopefully helpful for ya nevertheless.

~Nick

You hit he nail on the head! I was a tad in a hurry when I wrote my response, great job elaborating