Non stop sh*t tests

[shaneawi]

I met a girl today at a pharmacy. She was 20 years old and attended a community college. I'm in my late 20's but I look about 22. I was coming from my job which is a District Attorney and I was wearing my suit for work.

When I approached her and expressed interest she gave me the, "do you say that to every girl?" line. I responded by saying well almost, but wait there was that 90 year old woman I didn't use that line on." just to be funny and brush it off.

She pretty much gave me sh*t tests the entire time about my age. She said things like, "we close at 5pm for people over 60, so we're going to kick you out soon" and weren't you alive in 1940." etc. I pretty much bantered back with her and exxagerrated with what she threw at me by saying I was actually born in the 1930's and things like that in a playful tone.

When I said I had to go in 2 minutes to meet some clients for work, she said in a sarcastic manner "Oh, thank gosh." When I tried to get her number she kept giving me the sh*t tests about how she doesn't date 60 year old men. So I eventually just left because I was in a hurry.

Was this girl just straight up not interested or did she think I was too old for her? Ive gotten sh*t tests before but usually after I pass them she starts to talk seriously and we can exchange numbers. I've never had 5 minutes of straight sh*t tests. I honestly would have rather a girl just say I'm not interested then just sit there going back and forth with nonsensical talk.

 

[foggy]

she gave me the, "do you say that to every girl?" line. I responded by saying well almost, but wait there was that 90 year old woman I didn't use that line on." just to be funny and brush it off.

When girls say that, they view you as a player which makes you low attainability. How you replied was alright, however it didn't help raise your attainability which ended up influencing the rest of the interaction.

She pretty much gave me sh*t tests the entire time about my age.

She was definitely into you, if she wasn't she would have been nice and polite to you when you first started talking to her. However the fact that you were low attainability caused her to go into auto rejection and that's why she was acting rude/sarcastic towards you. She took your age and used it as an excuse to not like you. The fact that she gave you a hard time about your age the ENTIRE time sorta is interesting. In this case it's not a shit test - it's an objection. She was subtly asking you to help solve her objection towards you before she could feel comfortable with her attraction for you and allow the interaction to continue further.

 

[Chase]

Great analysis from backstory.

Yeah, sometimes you can do a one-two punch to get past test storms around a specific issue like this. Self-deprecating humor, then future projecting something she'll do: "Tell you what, I'll let you massage wrinkle cream into my bald spot and you can show me what music the kids are listening to these days. What is it again, Brittany Spears? Was that who's popular now?"

When a girl is throwing you heavy humor-based tests, the self-deprecation + future projection combo often works well. Maybe think of Ryan Reynolds when you want to deal with these. Also, by using absurd examples (pretending you need wrinkle cream and have a bald spot; implying you're so out of touch you think Brittany Spears is popular), you highlight the fact that you and her are not really so different and that you do in fact "get" her.

The age objection is very hard to get around though, especially with college women (who are surrounded by 18 to 22 y/os, and think anyone older than 23 is ancient). Often it's better to just not tell them your age. Or let them guess, and pick something close to what they guess. You can always tell the truth once she's your girlfriend later if she hangs around. And if it's just an ONS, it won't matter if you told her you were 22 when you were in fact 29.

Chase

 

[shaneawi]

I guess I should have approached more indirect. I usually do direct openers because I like to show intent up front. She was Latina so stereotypically through past experience I've noticed they like more alpha guys. But yea she busted my balls hard. I also probably shouldn't have tried to escalate off of a negative. I said "I'm enjoying the banter but I have to meet clients in 2 minutes. How do you feel about drinks with a cute boy?" Then she said "Where is he? Have you seen him in this store etc. That probably wasn't a good idea.

I didn't know how to turn the set around and seem less like a lover so I just left. This is a rare occurrence for me. I approach a new girl almost every other day and Ive never gotten that type of objection that lasted the whole interaction. The girl usually gets more comfortable with me after talking and she lowers her guard and then I escalate

 

[Drck]

Also consider other things:

"I met a girl today at a pharmacy. She was 20 years old and attended a community college. I'm in my late 20's but I look about 22. I was coming from my job which is a District Attorney and I was wearing my suit for work."

>>>> You got fancy lawyer suit on (in comparison to clothes what other guys of your age wear), which in her eyes means that you probably got good job, that you are ambitious, that you care too much and so on... So right there, you smell like a great provider. What do girls want with providers? They want to eventually marry them, true, but (most of them) not right now at early 20's. Right now she wants to have fun, date some loser who she can dump without regret whenever she wants. So right there, she placed "boring" stamp all over your forehead, you don't look like a loser so you are not interesting enough...

Then you describes what you call shit test. I wasn't obviously there, but my impression is that those were rather awkward vibes started with awkward joke. Overall, the vibes weren't probably that great. You didn't impress her enough so she didn't even give you her phone number...

But wait a minute, those are not necessary bad signs. You just have to polish your game. Remember, you are a lawyer, so you are expected to give people hard time, you are expected to be assertive, are you are expected to take some solid hits from other people. You are expected to fight with other people including women, and you are expected to be persistent...

Obviously I don't mean fighting with people literally, but some arguments in rather teasing form are not bad at all when dealing with women, especially Latinas. Don't take any crap from her, or any other woman...

If I were you I would go back, even couple of times, approach again, and tease the crap out of her (don't mention age again, that would be annoying, find something else. Or simply: "Hey, I could be your daddy, don't make me spank your ass"). Don't feel sorry for her, she can take it. You want to be on offensive, not on defensive...

Just be careful, you don't want to appear annoying or creepy, but at the same time you as a lawyer should show solid dominance over her - she gives you crap, you will give crap back to her with no hesitation...

Man, I've done similar thing to this hot Latina. At first there were great vibes, but then I messed up something and she totally flipped and insulted me. I came back though, didn't let her shut me down, and I started to give her crap back (directly but rather sensitively, in teasing manner. You can't do too much, but you basically show that you are not intimidated by her and that you can put her in her place). We had couple unpleasant exchanges, not really the best vibes, the best I can describe it is assertive verbal fights... What happened next? What happened next is:

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

She literally lit up in front of me, her eyes were wide open, and I swear I really saw aura around her, should something like that exist. She lit up from little flame to huge fire, she was like in flames. SHE dragged ME to the bathroom...

So you just have to work on solid frame, you have to develop unique style because you don't need to pretend that you are a bum without a job in order to get laid...