FR NOT a good night out (nightclub bouncer attempts to intervene with pickup)

[average_daygamer]

Hello @wassupmypeeps and @StrayDog.

I've got to say, your debate was really interesting.

I can add both sides of the argument.

For me, confrontation is not my strong point.

So I saw it as a kind of "mini game" of sorts to confront this guy. I have walked away from outside venues a couple of times when being confronted by thugs instead of fighting them, which is regrettable, especially as someone with an interest in bodybuilding and martial arts.

When people are being unfair, I like to feel empowered by challenging them. It was in ear shot, not a passing comment that I could ignore. Maybe he wasn't talking about me, it's a possibility.

However, I have walked away far too many times. It felt like a stand I could make.

However, by doing so, I have effectively "banned" myself from this club, without being officially banned.

I am going to start training at that gym again and see if I can see him and make amends.

Because I am seriously lacking variety in locations especially for indoor venues that I can stay late enough at for it to get busy enough. Or even run "passive game" just being in the venue and see if there are any sets that are super easy to open.

So in hindsight, I would have preferred not to have confronted him, although I can see why I did.

I was just minding my own business, going to my locker, when I heard him ranting. I did not expect to see him and that's what annoyed me. What were the odds? Why did he show up? Can't I get a break? Etc.

Sometimes a confrontation is better to clear the air as well. It stops paranoia from occuring. Like "I'm sure that guys talking about me" type things. It's better to just call them out on it.

 

[average_daygamer]

Editwassupmypeepz

 

[Wassupmypeepz]

Hello @wassupmypeeps and @StrayDog.

I've got to say, your debate was really interesting.

I can add both sides of the argument.

For me, confrontation is not my strong point.

So I saw it as a kind of "mini game" of sorts to confront this guy. I have walked away from outside venues a couple of times when being confronted by thugs instead of fighting them, which is regrettable, especially as someone with an interest in bodybuilding and martial arts.

When people are being unfair, I like to feel empowered by challenging them. It was in ear shot, not a passing comment that I could ignore. Maybe he wasn't talking about me, it's a possibility.

However, I have walked away far too many times. It felt like a stand I could make.

However, by doing so, I have effectively "banned" myself from this club, without being officially banned.

I am going to start training at that gym again and see if I can see him and make amends.

Because I am seriously lacking variety in locations especially for indoor venues that I can stay late enough at for it to get busy enough. Or even run "passive game" just being in the venue and see if there are any sets that are super easy to open.

So in hindsight, I would have preferred not to have confronted him, although I can see why I did.

I was just minding my own business, going to my locker, when I heard him ranting. I did not expect to see him and that's what annoyed me. What were the odds? Why did he show up? Can't I get a break? Etc.

Sometimes a confrontation is better to clear the air as well. It stops paranoia from occuring. Like "I'm sure that guys talking about me" type things. It's better to just call them out on it.

Hold on now! This comment has nearly totally flipped my position. You STILL want to be cool where the bouncer is working? You WERENT sure he was talking about you? If that’s the case under no circumstances should you have stepped to him. By what you wrote it seemed to me he was but if you aren’t sure i can’t be so sure as you have more information.
I’m okay with confrontation but there has to be certainty about what you’re confronting and why you’re confronting him.

 

[average_daygamer]

@

Hold on now! This comment has nearly totally flipped my position. You STILL want to be cool where the bouncer is working? You WERENT sure he was talking about you? If that’s the case under no circumstances should you have stepped to him. By what you wrote it seemed to me he was but if you aren’t sure i can’t be so sure as you have more information.
I’m okay with confrontation but there has to be certainty about what you’re confronting and why you’re confronting him.

The certainty situation is almost impossible, though. These situations are always ambiguous.

I do want to go back to the place, it was a convenient spot with a lot of hot girls.

What made me think he was talking about me was that I was wearing the same clothes as that night in the club.

It was also such a random encounter. Which was what annoyed me as I didn't expect him to show up in such a manner.

 

[Teevster]

1. Bouncers kick out a tons of dudes every night. He may have spoken the truth.

2. Bouncers have the same right as the owner as per most legislations. Debating with a bouncer is a waste of time and never benefits you (you never even win the argument).

3. You did approach unsmoothly, girl (over?)reacted - you kept fueling her, and things escalated. You initiated the approach, you take the blame. Arguing with a girl in a club never leads to any victories. Want to punish her? Ignore her and move on - and chat up new girls.

4. The bouncer is not a judge. He has one role - make sure there are no issues, no violence, drugs, etc. Not to find out who is right or wrong. He will be biased to side with those he perceives as higher value to the club - generally girls, unless you are a male perceived as high value to the club (big networker, big spender, bringing key people, contributing to the image of the club etc).

5. You have no "rights" in the strictest sense of the term. "Rights" in a nightlife setting are defined by your social value. Can the club survive without you? will the club feel any major loss if you were to not come back? Most likely not. Will the club lose a lot if a girl, a hot one, tells her friends that X clubs let men do random touching and stuff? Yes. Bouncer's mission is to protect key people in order to protect the clubs reputation, and ensure their key clienteelle is happy, that is, those who bring in money, or bing people who bring money, or make people with money spend big money. It is a business, it is hierarchical, and it is not fair if you approach it with "daily moral rules".

Clubs do not operate with daily morality. Accept it, or drop the clubs.

PS: you are likely blacklisted from the venue. Do not even bother trying to "confront"
him again, else you may end up getting blacklisted in multiple venues. Lay low, learn from this and go to a different venue.

-Teevster