FR Not Sure if These Texts Are Needy

[Kaida]

This girl I’m talking to apparently is barely on her phone. She doesn’t even have an instagram, and her snapscore is lower than mine even though mine is incredibly low (meaning shes barely on the app).

I got tired of texting her with the long responses on snap, so I told her to send her number to facetime.

I flirted with her and she flirted back, I got her qualifying pretty hard and chasing my validation. One time she was talking about her room layout she said I can come see it in person which shows sex is on the table.

Only mistake I think I made was pushing for the meet a little too fast. After she said I could see it in person I asked what time. She said you let me know and I was like “I’m not doing anything right now and she responded saying its a bit late right now effectively rejecting it softly.

After that I backed off and went back to our conversation but revisited the meet at the end of the call. but I instead asked about tomorrow. This time though she said “yeah we can go do something” meaning not her room.

I said yeah ok and suggested we get ice cream the next day, she agreed and we ended the call.

Here are the texts after. Her response times are incredibly slow because she “isn’t on her phone” which may be true to an extent because she doesnt even have instagram, but dont know if that excuses this. I marked the places I callled her in between the texts.

https://flic.kr/p/2prAGu2 https://flic.kr/p/2prCeje
You would think a girl whos planning a meetup with someone that day would check their phone a little more often then they usually do right?

I’m looking back at this and I feel like it looks needy. I was letting myself go a bit because I could tell she had high interest over the call, but I may have broke form too much.

And at the last message “I can” i literally called her within 2 minutes of that message and she didnt pick up.

Are these texts needy?

And if so, what should I do?

 

[topcat]

Yeah the calling in context is needy.

Problem is you’re trying to escalate the conversation (hard closing) without getting any investment first and therefore you are chasing.

 

[rzzseducerfr]

I'm a new guy in the community but these texts do look very needy. Remember girls hate neediness and nowadays its also known as an "ick" ie very undesirable/unattractive. You did text her first, i liked the way u teased with her initially, but it almost felt like you were trying to force her to come hangout with you. You must keep the linking lowkey and laid back. If your too serious with it, girls would not really commit especially younger ones

The way you called within 2 minutes of her texting you was not cool. It looks to her that shes the only thing u care about and that u dont have anything else going on in your life. Which u should genuinely have, but anyways that was very soon. She's reading your messages in like 6hrs okay maybe she doesnt use her phone too often, but it seems like BS. She does look like she has a little interest but not enough to go out with you

My solution-> Tease and banter with her a lil bit and be nonchalant. Don't be so outcome dependant on getting her to hangout etc. Girls care about the way u make them feel. If she can see ur a cool highvalue fun dude, she's going to come! Keep improving!

 

[Will_V]

This girl I’m talking to apparently is barely on her phone. She doesn’t even have an instagram, and her snapscore is lower than mine even though mine is incredibly low (meaning shes barely on the app).

I got tired of texting her with the long responses on snap, so I told her to send her number to facetime.

I flirted with her and she flirted back, I got her qualifying pretty hard and chasing my validation. One time she was talking about her room layout she said I can come see it in person which shows sex is on the table.

Only mistake I think I made was pushing for the meet a little too fast. After she said I could see it in person I asked what time. She said you let me know and I was like “I’m not doing anything right now and she responded saying its a bit late right now effectively rejecting it softly.

After that I backed off and went back to our conversation but revisited the meet at the end of the call. but I instead asked about tomorrow. This time though she said “yeah we can go do something” meaning not her room.

I said yeah ok and suggested we get ice cream the next day, she agreed and we ended the call.

Here are the texts after. Her response times are incredibly slow because she “isn’t on her phone” which may be true to an extent because she doesnt even have instagram, but dont know if that excuses this. I marked the places I callled her in between the texts.

https://flic.kr/p/2prAGu2 https://flic.kr/p/2prCeje
You would think a girl whos planning a meetup with someone that day would check their phone a little more often then they usually do right?

I’m looking back at this and I feel like it looks needy. I was letting myself go a bit because I could tell she had high interest over the call, but I may have broke form too much.

And at the last message “I can” i literally called her within 2 minutes of that message and she didnt pick up.

Are these texts needy?

And if so, what should I do?

Dude you are pushing for compliance from these girls way too hard and too fast, and they are being forced to slam the brakes by giving you multiple soft rejections, and this is destroying the momentum of the seduction.

You got three rejections that could have been avoided.

- Suggesting to go to her room right away (rejected). Suggesting to meet a girl at her room right away (especially when it seems you haven't even spent time together) is risky, and is almost certain to tip the investment scales way too much to your side.

- Suggesting an exact time for the iceacream (rejected). ALWAYS ask when she's free rather than coming up with an exact time, it's asking for a soft rejection, even if she wanted to go maybe she just can't for some reason, and besides it feels pushy to her.

- Calling her immediately after her message, she doesn't pick up, then telling her to call you (rejected twice?). She barely texts you back, and you ask her to call you? Asking to be ghosted.

I can see you have the mentality that you can just maneuver things on the spot. Get a rejection? Just step back and try a different tack. But that's not how it works. Even one rejection, depending on her perception of it and her reasons, unknown to you, for rejecting, can kill the vibe. And girls emotions lag behind their expression, meaning that even when she's still enthusiastically agreeing to things, you might have already messed things up because an hour, two hours later the buzz of the interaction wears off and negative emotions you produced in her can bubble up in her mind.

Especially before you date or have sex, you live inside a girl's mind, for better or worse, in a very unstable position. You cannot see her perception of you, you cannot adjust the erroneous conclusions she might have drawn about you, you cannot provide explanations for things that confuse or concern her. Everything she knows about you is based on whatever little she found out about you in the approach, and a few actions you've done since. The more pressure you put on her, the more unstable are her emotions about you, and the more unstable is your position in her mind.

This is why even when you see a bit of green light, you can't just smash the accelerator and go for it, or it suddenly turns orange or red and you have to grind to a halt again. You have to keep the speed right, so that if it stays green you can cruise through, or if it goes orange you can anticipate it and switch lanes so smoothly and effortlessly that it seems like you were always in perfect control of everything.

You gotta let these girls yearn for you, let that green light hang for a few moments, tease them with the reward and make them lunge for it themselves.

 

[topcat]

You gotta let these girls yearn for you, let that green light hang for a few moments, tease them with the reward and make them lunge for it themselves.

This.

I raised this in conversation the other day, but a seduction summed up is priming the girl to say yes to the next step in the process before you ask. She should want to move forward with you before you ask her to. I’m even finding now that if you prime well enough, she’ll jump the gun and pull you to the next stage herself (close you).

@Kaida you’re over eager and as such skip steps in the process without meeting her where she is at. Lay a stone (step in the seduction) let her process it, gauge her response and then set another stone based on her compliance. Back up if you misread (she rejects) and use the information of where she is at to pace her properly.

Calibration man.

 

[DarkJedi]

This girl I’m talking to apparently is barely on her phone. She doesn’t even have an instagram, and her snapscore is lower than mine even though mine is incredibly low (meaning shes barely on the app).

I got tired of texting her with the long responses on snap, so I told her to send her number to facetime.

I flirted with her and she flirted back, I got her qualifying pretty hard and chasing my validation. One time she was talking about her room layout she said I can come see it in person which shows sex is on the table.

Only mistake I think I made was pushing for the meet a little too fast. After she said I could see it in person I asked what time. She said you let me know and I was like “I’m not doing anything right now and she responded saying its a bit late right now effectively rejecting it softly.

After that I backed off and went back to our conversation but revisited the meet at the end of the call. but I instead asked about tomorrow. This time though she said “yeah we can go do something” meaning not her room.

I said yeah ok and suggested we get ice cream the next day, she agreed and we ended the call.

Here are the texts after. Her response times are incredibly slow because she “isn’t on her phone” which may be true to an extent because she doesnt even have instagram, but dont know if that excuses this. I marked the places I callled her in between the texts.

https://flic.kr/p/2prAGu2 https://flic.kr/p/2prCeje
You would think a girl whos planning a meetup with someone that day would check their phone a little more often then they usually do right?

I’m looking back at this and I feel like it looks needy. I was letting myself go a bit because I could tell she had high interest over the call, but I may have broke form too much.

And at the last message “I can” i literally called her within 2 minutes of that message and she didnt pick up.

Are these texts needy?

And if so, what should I do?

Man this is super pushy. Multiple rejections and you're going full steam ahead. And calling after non-compliance just makes it much worse. I'm surprised she was still responding to the texts, most girls would have stopped. She maybe has a bit more of a compliant personality and also was fairly interested before, but at this point she's lost interest.

Only things that might work I think are if you run into her and get her to hang out, or maybe give her quite some space and text low-key and slowly build it up (low odds). Basically, you can turn this around only in person and that too by showing you can be more laidback.

 

[Kaida]

@Kaida you’re over eager and as such skip steps in the process without meeting her where she is at. Lay a stone (step in the seduction) let her process it, gauge her response and then set another stone based on her compliance. Back up if you misread (she rejects) and use the information of where she is at to pace her properly.

Damn you’re right bro. I’ve noticed I have a tendency to break form when a girl I like shows high interest. I had a feeling I was being a bit needy but I dismissed it with “she likes me though, she’s just taking a while”.

@Will_V @topcat What do you guys think now, is it dead or what?

Her last message was accepting compliance, even if her interest was waning. I’m thinking I could leave her on ice for a while (while marketing on social media) or send something to fix it

 

[Kaida]

Suggesting an exact time for the iceacream (rejected). ALWAYS ask when she's free rather than coming up with an exact time, it's asking for a soft rejection, even if she wanted to go maybe she just can't for some reason, and besides it feels pushy to her.

I usually do that but I was too much in a pushy mentality man. I thought she was basically saying she’s free.

Calling her immediately after her message, she doesn't pick up, then telling her to call you (rejected twice?). She barely texts you back, and you ask her to call you? Asking to be ghosted.

I was thinking of just letting her message hang after she didnt pick up. I should have done that, would have made me look like I just dont like texting rather than desperate

Especially before you date or have sex, you live inside a girl's mind, for better or worse, in a very unstable position. You cannot see her perception of you, you cannot adjust the erroneous conclusions she might have drawn about you, you cannot provide explanations for things that confuse or concern her. Everything she knows about you is based on whatever little she found out about you in the approach, and a few actions you've done since. The more pressure you put on her, the more unstable are her emotions about you, and the more unstable is your position in her mind.

Understood

You gotta let these girls yearn for you, let that green light hang for a few moments, tease them with the reward and make them lunge for it themselves.

For sure. I’ll remember this

 

[Skills]

Brah! I made a post specifically addressing this scenarios

Calls & Texts - Don't follow up opening with a hard close....

So guys i see a trend from many text reviews pm and in the forum.... First what is a hard close: a hard close is when you set up a meet and arrange logistics without a soft close, a soft close is when you are gauging the buying temperature for a meet, if positive you proceed to hard close, if...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[TomInHo]

Late to the party but one of the biggest roadblocks I notice @Kaida with your texting is you never put yourself in the girls shoes. You're always thinking about close, close, close, close.... and don't pay attention to signals

When she told you she just woke up, you then pushed for a time that was 30 minutes after the fact. Like come on G give the girl some time to breathe lol. It will probably take her more time to get ready for the date

That's probably why she waited so long because she felt you were too pushy or she may have just gone back to sleep lol. Because she just woke up remember

Also to play devils advocate

Dude you are pushing for compliance from these girls way too hard and too fast, and they are being forced to slam the brakes by giving you multiple soft rejections, and this is destroying the momentum of the seduction.

You got three rejections that could have been avoided.

- Suggesting to go to her room right away (rejected). Suggesting to meet a girl at her room right away (especially when it seems you haven't even spent time together) is risky, and is almost certain to tip the investment scales way too much to your side.

To be fair she did give him a signal that she may be down, but she wasn't ready that exact moment. No foul play imo because I've closed many girls like that

But one thing I've learned to do before doing those immediate ask is to give a feeler statement

"Feeling spontaneous?"

From her response I will know if I can push forward with the ask immediately, or pull back build the vibe back up then figure out a time we can both do in the future

- Suggesting an exact time for the iceacream (rejected). ALWAYS ask when she's free rather than coming up with an exact time, it's asking for a soft rejection, even if she wanted to go maybe she just can't for some reason, and besides it feels pushy to her.

I agree and goes to my main point. He never considers how the other person could be feeling until he's not getting what he wants. Then whenever he gets resistance he gets into chase mode and tries to get compliance when there is none

Homie you need to take a deep breath, pause and before you send a text think about the current headspace of the girl before you send it. It's not BETA to be considerate while you lead

- Calling her immediately after her message, she doesn't pick up, then telling her to call you (rejected twice?). She barely texts you back, and you ask her to call you? Asking to be ghosted.

I swear my guy needs to stop calling girls. Can't remember the last time I had to call a girl because a lot of Gen Z chicks can get paranoid with phone calls. I only ever do facetime or phone calls if the girl requests it.

Doing otherwise is risky and you can come across as a dude that doesn't get it, because some of these girls have legit anxiety when it comes to calls for some reason

I can see you have the mentality that you can just maneuver things on the spot. Get a rejection? Just step back and try a different tack. But that's not how it works. Even one rejection, depending on her perception of it and her reasons, unknown to you, for rejecting, can kill the vibe.

Ehhh I disagree on that. I think sometimes we can be too perfectionist when it comes to seduction. Can make mistakes here and there and be fine if you can recover

I've been rejected off my initial ask many times but still end up fucking the girls brains out

She might soft reject your initial ask.. you then pull back slightly then try and figure out if there's an objection. Get the objection to the surface and handle then you now have a date

This is a sales tactic popularized by Jordan Belfort's called Straight Line Persuasion (highly recommend this book out for frame control and objection handling)

And girls emotions lag behind their expression, meaning that even when she's still enthusiastically agreeing to things, you might have already messed things up because an hour, two hours later the buzz of the interaction wears off and negative emotions you produced in her can bubble up in her mind.

Especially before you date or have sex, you live inside a girl's mind, for better or worse, in a very unstable position. You cannot see her perception of you, you cannot adjust the erroneous conclusions she might have drawn about you, you cannot provide explanations for things that confuse or concern her. Everything she knows about you is based on whatever little she found out about you in the approach, and a few actions you've done since. The more pressure you put on her, the more unstable are her emotions about you, and the more unstable is your position in her mind.

This is why even when you see a bit of green light, you can't just smash the accelerator and go for it, or it suddenly turns orange or red and you have to grind to a halt again. You have to keep the speed right, so that if it stays green you can cruise through, or if it goes orange you can anticipate it and switch lanes so smoothly and effortlessly that it seems like you were always in perfect control of everything.

You gotta let these girls yearn for you, let that green light hang for a few moments, tease them with the reward and make them lunge for it themselves.

Can sum this up by saying @Kaida . . . Calm the fuck down

You can push but when you get non compliance you must pull back and figure out the reason for non-compliance, address it, then you can escalate again

The girl likes you and you will get laid if you just chill a bit. Learn how to go slower, listen to girl before you actually speak and think about her current mood while you escalate the situation

 

[Conquistador]

My experience with girls who don’t really have active socials is you need to build as much comfort and investment/compliance in person as fast as possible. Then trade numbers **with a calibrated and CLEAR reason for doing so.** Hard close is better but not absolutely necessary.

You might think that your attractiveness and the mutual vibe is enough of a reason. Unless she’s over the moon, she isn’t invested enough without concrete reasons and previous compliance.

Closing and texts seem to be the hardest part when you’re both 18-23. A lot of girls are slow to invest in guys outside their SC.

 

[Kaida]

Late to the party but one of the biggest roadblocks I notice @Kaida with your texting is you never put yourself in the girls shoes. You're always thinking about close, close, close, close.... and don't pay attention to signals

Yeah, I’m thinking that too. Even just a second ago an fb texted me saying she just got out of class (we talked about meeting up last night) and I just sent her "good to see you settled in first day of class, wyd" like I basically started asking for her schedule right out of class. Then I saw this post and realized that was what I was doing... need to consider their current mood and feelings more

@Will_V @topcat What do you guys think now, is it dead or what?

Her last message was accepting compliance, even if her interest was waning. I’m thinking I could leave her on ice for a while (while marketing on social media) or send something to fix it

Any opinions on this?

I may see her at the club tonight since theres a big event going on, but she also mentioned not really liking clubs so I wouldn't bet on that.

 

[topcat]

Any opinions on this?

I may see her at the club tonight since theres a big event going on, but she also mentioned not really liking clubs so I wouldn't bet on that.

Back off and drop your intent on fucking her for a bit. If she gives you an AI open neutrally but friendly, if she doesn’t just be generally social and don’t bother with her. If you don’t see her and it’s still text based, leave it for a week or two, ping AND FOLLOW THE FUCKING PROCESS DUDE!

 

[Kaida]

I swear my guy needs to stop calling girls. Can't remember the last time I had to call a girl because a lot of Gen Z chicks can get paranoid with phone calls. I only ever do facetime or phone calls if the girl requests it.

Yeah ur right about the calls after, that was doing too much. But I think the facetime call was great especially since she responds so slow. I asked if she was down to facetime before before it as well.

Built a good connection from that and probably would have gotten the lay at least this week if my texting was better

Back off and drop your intent on fucking her for a bit. If she gives you an AI open neutrally but friendly, if she doesn’t just be generally social and don’t bother with her. If you don’t see her and it’s still text based, leave it for a week or two, ping AND FOLLOW THE FUCKING PROCESS DUDE!

Gotchu 🤝🏾

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

Yeah the calling in context is needy.

Problem is you’re trying to escalate the conversation (hard closing) without getting any investment first and therefore you are chasing.

What do you mean by getting investment first via texts or calls (my favorites)

Do you mean like getting her to invest in the interaction by saying somethings about herself or just her engaging more in a conversation

 

[topcat]

Do you mean like getting her to invest in the interaction by saying somethings about herself or just her engaging more in a conversation

both work, but essentially she’s contributing favourably to the conversation equal or greater to your own investment. When she starts investing more than you (or escalates her investment with your asks) then she’s in a better position to accept your soft close.

 

[Will_V]

Lot of good points here.

To be fair she did give him a signal that she may be down, but she wasn't ready that exact moment. No foul play imo because I've closed many girls like that

But one thing I've learned to do before doing those immediate ask is to give a feeler statement

"Feeling spontaneous?"

Yeah, I can see how it could work sometimes. But remember he's inviting himself to her room, not the other way around, without (it seems) even having gone on a date. That's risky. If you handle it very well it could work, and it probably works better in college where the vibe is more like a backpacker hostel than a private home.

But yeah out of all the rejections this one was the only one that might have been worth getting. And it needed to be handled better after the fact.

I swear my guy needs to stop calling girls. Can't remember the last time I had to call a girl because a lot of Gen Z chicks can get paranoid with phone calls. I only ever do facetime or phone calls if the girl requests it.

Same, I never call girls unless it's a bit of a hail mary thing. Won't say it doesn't work but messages are just way more chill imo.

Doing otherwise is risky and you can come across as a dude that doesn't get it, because some of these girls have legit anxiety when it comes to calls for some reason

Lol so true.

Ehhh I disagree on that. I think sometimes we can be too perfectionist when it comes to seduction. Can make mistakes here and there and be fine if you can recover

I've been rejected off my initial ask many times but still end up fucking the girls brains out

She might soft reject your initial ask.. you then pull back slightly then try and figure out if there's an objection. Get the objection to the surface and handle then you now have a date

This is a sales tactic popularized by Jordan Belfort's called Straight Line Persuasion (highly recommend this book out for frame control and objection handling)

Maybe my wording was wrong but what I was getting at here is that you don't want to be like the burglar just trying one door after another hoping something will come loose. A rejection not the same as an objection - a rejection is when you commit to a course of action and then she stops it. Objections always happen, and how you bring them out of her is important, how you pace her and reframe that objection is important, etc, and that's a normal part of seduction. But just trying one thing after another creates a vibe of being way too eager and not being in touch with her point of view.

I think I overdid the point about how one rejection can ruin things, it's more like that it puts you in a worse position which can make it difficult if things are already not going so well. So fair point.

Can sum this up by saying @Kaida . . . Calm the fuck down

You can push but when you get non compliance you must pull back and figure out the reason for non-compliance, address it, then you can escalate again

The girl likes you and you will get laid if you just chill a bit. Learn how to go slower, listen to girl before you actually speak and think about her current mood while you escalate the situation

Yeah this is the crucial thing - @Kaida you are obviously very attractive to these girls and don't have any issues getting interest, what you need to do now is start refining your game and experimenting with getting the same results with the least amount of effort. You can't get a girl fussing after you and chasing you around unless you lean back and give her some room. Room to worry about whether you like her, room to sit there checking her phone a million times to see if you've texted back, room to work hard to maintain your interest, room to offer herself to you like a little christmas present for the unwrapping. The things women do when they are way more invested than you is crazy and it feels so much better than chasing her around trying to pin down a date.

You already made a post about how you're getting all these lays and it's all getting a bit blasé, how about trying a more laidback approach with some of them?

 

[Kaida]

You can't get a girl fussing after you and chasing you around unless you lean back and give her some room. Room to worry about whether you like her, room to sit there checking her phone a million times to see if you've texted back, room to work hard to maintain your interest, room to offer herself to you like a little christmas present for the unwrapping. The things women do when they are way more invested than you is crazy and it feels so much better than chasing her around trying to pin down a date.

That sounds so attractive and is honestly the end goal of all of this for me. I think I’ve hammered “move fast move fast” in my head too hard, and forget to slow it down to her pace.

But is it really as simple as just laying back and doing less while letting her like you? Dont I need more experience (and tactics) on how to dangle the carrot

For example, in the texting above I have no idea how I could get her so invested that she’s just offering herself to me. I just know how to lead her to and I still even mess up on that.

And even now I’m just getting back from the club and I got the number of a very attractive girl that somehow knows my name off snapchat even though I’ve never seen her before (I post myself often on there) and the first thing I think of doing is flirting like normal, soft closing and hard closing.

Thats all me, she’s not offering herself to me like a present in that process, even though thats something I would love.

I’m going through a mini dry spell now as well and its frustrating. Literally all my 4 fbs have gone non compliant because of my texting, and I’m making needy mistakes with girls I definitely should have gotten like the one just now. Girls I really like and who really like me blocking me on everything due to low attainability I couldn’t really help. Reputation issues due to some needy mistakes with girls last semester etc etc.

Wish I could just lay back and the girls and my fbs would chase me and just beg to be in my room like you said. But obviously I’m not there yet

 

[Will_V]

That sounds so attractive and is honestly the end goal of all of this for me. I think I’ve hammered “move fast move fast” in my head too hard, and forget to slow it down to her pace.

Yeah man you've done well to throw yourself into it and that's why you've gotten the success so far. You've proven that you're a dude that women find attractive. But you have to now refine things to get better results.

But is it really as simple as just laying back and doing less while letting her like you? Dont I need more experience (and tactics) on how to dangle the carrot

No it certainly is not that simple.

For example, in the texting above I have no idea how I could get her so invested that she’s just offering herself to me. I just know how to lead her to and I still even mess up on that.

In that case you hadn't gone on a date or had sex, so it's very hard to make her really want something she doesn't know much about. On the date you could build a connection, rapport, and sexual tension with her. That is what will make her want you - your presence, the sexual frames you set, the teasing, the touch/escalation, and the sex. The phone is a pretty bad way to do any of that.

The real issue with that texting there was simply your impatience. Her texting isn't that bad, you just jumped on any opening, like literally your next message after her saying 'now I'm awake' is trying to set up the date in a pretty forceful way. How about some banter, some teasing/jokes, a little bit of connection building.

For example you could go: "u a sleepyhead! just finished gym, feeling great .. got much planned for the day?"

She could then talk about the gym, she could talk about what she's got planned, it's a no-pressure question. And that'll keep the rapport while transitioning toward logistics and giving you idea of if there's an opening without it even seeming like you're asking about the date.

When she asked what time you want to go, you should have sensed her investment was low .. she's just woken up again, and her response basically amounts to a vague 'maybe'. That means you have to build things up a little bit without dropping the ball. Something like:

' had a long night did we .. I might be free a bit later on, got much planned for the rest of the day?'

Keeping a little bit of banter going, being laidback and giving her the opportunity to tell you when she's free and wonder what you're up to, matching her energy and pacing her, this makes all the difference between coming across as a chill dude with stuff going on, vs being a thirsty dude just waiting for her to wake up so you can give her the ice cream. You want her to feel like you're interested but you're still measuring her up, and you've got all these other girls to take care of so you aren't in any hurry.

That also means keep your investment around the same as hers.

- If she messages, message back, don't call.
- If she responds in 1 hour, respond around the same time after that.
- If she writes a short message, keep yours fairly short too.

This all makes her feel like you're both interested in eachother about the same, it's not just one sided, you're in sync. And it makes her feel the tension of having to fill the spaces rather than you doing it.

And even now I’m just getting back from the club and I got the number of a very attractive girl that somehow knows my name off snapchat even though I’ve never seen her before (I post myself often on there) and the first thing I think of doing is flirting like normal, soft closing and hard closing.

Well, you should do that, just be patient and walk her through things at a chill pace.

I’m going through a mini dry spell now as well and its frustrating. Literally all my 4 fbs have gone non compliant because of my texting, and I’m making needy mistakes with girls I definitely should have gotten like the one just now. Girls I really like and who really like me blocking me on everything due to low attainability I couldn’t really help. Reputation issues due to some needy mistakes with girls last semester etc etc.

Yeah man you gotta treat these girls well after they give you what you want, if you want to see them again. There's still a seduction that has to happen each time you have sex - even if you don't go on a date you still have to build a vibe, connect with her, pace her energy, flirt and warm her up, give her foreplay, and reward her with a little bit of care and consideration after the fact. And that happens every time. If you do that right they will always be aching to see you again, like you're the weekend and every day is friday.

You are supposed to be a girl's holiday from mundane reality, a place where they are free to express themselves, open up and be satisfied, and feel wonderful and reinvigorated. Learning how to do that takes plenty of attention, skill, and patience - you have to be curious and interested in them, listening to all their signals and learning what they mean, building tension and teasing her until she throws away the burden of her self control, remaining mysterious enough to intrigue her so she can't stop thinking about you on those long nights alone in her bed. Seduction is an art, and all art requires a certain level of devotion to achieve mastery.