Hey Bigjo,
Figured I'd chime in after talking with Chase and showing him all of the screenshots of our coaching for the sake of business transparency and to show him the truth of the situation, since it's his business ultimately.
Firstly, I want to say that I'm sorry you feel this way. It's clear you feel abandoned and lacking in results. And I do wish that I could have helped you more than it looks like I did.
Unfortunately, I'm limited in my power. I can't force you to approach girls. I can't force you to listen to me.
Even more unfortunate, you made this issue public. Now you have forced a public response and I doubt that you're going to feel any better after hearing my reply, at least initially.
I responded to your "standing up to me" text on Instagram and you haven't even looked at it.
So I'll write another response, but this one will be even harsher, because you've made this public.
Just remember,
you chose to make this public.
It was your choice to talk badly about coaching and my coaching is by extension reflective of Girls Chase. Transitively, you are speaking badly about Girls Chase. This puts doubt into people's minds and hearts about how we can help them. The truth rises above all else, so if your frustrations were rooted in truth, then I would gladly accept the criticism. I have been an imperfect coach before, but I was always earnest in my efforts and my advice was *almost always* spot on. And this case is no different - I analyzed your problems accurately and you refused to do the work, but still chose to speak badly about Girls Chase and now you have forced this response. I repeat this to make it very clear that you chose this path.
I hope that this response initiates a "it's gonna get worse before it gets better" cleansing in your mind. It's gonna suck getting embarrassed by my response. You chose to heckle the comedian on his stage, his circle of mastery, and will reap the results of that action. But sometimes, those shitty circumstances can be the best teachers. Experiences like these are not easily forgotten and I hope with all of my heart that you grow and learn from this. I truly did care for you and wanted you to get better. I got annoyed with you at times, yes, but I don't have to like you to make you better. My advice is still there and is yours if you choose to take it.
Let us begin.
First, the basics.
The only clients in my history as a coach who don't get results are the clients who
1. Don't do the work
2. Don't listen
And you did neither.
Yet you expected results. I only know a few details of your life, but my best guess is that you're spoiled. You have more money than the average person and your life has been, in some respects, a bit easier. I don't mean to say your life is easy - no life is easy. We all suffer. But you are spoiled and your response to your results shows that.
You did almost no work. If I recall correctly, you did less than 5 real life approaches. You also asked out a hot bar manager who was not only older than you, but married.
Industry chick - Check
Hot - Check
Older/experienced - Check
Married - Check
Pretty much top tier difficulty shit.
She did some light flirting with you, probably mostly out of politeness and a bit of "aww he's flirting with me" reciprocation. You asked her out and she showed you her ring.
She meant you no harm, but you took it quite hard.
Did you expect to succeed?
Lofty expectations.
You lament that I didn't help you with your approach anxiety. As Chase pointed out, I actually had an 'on-call' moment with you and responded instantly to your struggling to approach. Here's the screenshot
I give you some mindfulness advice (breathing) and then tell you what to do.
But then another situation arises.
Is this me "abandoning" you? Or teaching you that you need to learn how to do it on your own? I already gave you the tools. We discussed approaching before these texts. We were going over lots of topics for months now.
Time to do work. No handholding. I've had little success convincing people out of AA if my first few attempts fail, no matter how much I try to help. If I have to be on the phone with you to convince you to go do it, then you're going nowhere. I'll do that once and then you need to do it yourself. I have my strategies, but at some point, grow some fucking balls and go do it.
Maybe we need some more examples of me being harsh to you, but first let's see your own opinion on me "being harsh."
You asked for harshness and when you got it, you cried. It's okay. Life is tough. I have cried a lot and probably will cry in the future a lot as I learn the lessons I need to learn to solve my problems. But you asked for it.
Now, here's some examples of me being harsh and abandoning you.
That was about the industry chick, the manager.
But here's a time when I do hit you with some honesty
Remember I told you about expanding your vocabulary for more interesting conversation? I told you to read some books.
You got bored and wanted another solution. I told you to try some other books, fantasy, sci-fi, etc. Did you listen? Probably not.
You would always bug me after one or two days not answering for me to get to your question and annoyed the ever loving shit out of me, but I didn't call you annoying or lash out at you. And yet you would pretend you were okay with it a different time
Don't tell someone you're okay with me taking longer to respond and then bug me when I don't respond immediately. You would constantly say "hey man can you respond to my message?" and yet send texts like these.
It's like an annoying girlfriend saying have a good night out and then messaging me every two seconds to get attention.
It's mixed messages.
Plus, you didn't earn the right to instant responses. You were paying me pennies. Sure, is $100/month a lot for some people? Yeah, but I'm worth way more than that (and this situation is telling me I think I need to raise my prices again soon).
I charge $527 for one hour of phone coaching and even gave you a FREE Hour of video coaching last year. Hell, I think I ended up giving you an hour and a half IIRC. In your message on this forum you said "I did proper coaching with him, too," but forgot to mention I gave that to you FOR FREE during my birthday. You solved that little puzzle I put up on Instagram and I told everyone I would pick ONE winner for a free hour of coaching. But what did I do? I gave everyone who solved it a free hour. That ended up being about 12 different people. A 12 hour course costs $4000, but I gave 12 people one hour each FOR FREE. Including you. But you didn't mention that, did you? Of course not.
And this reveals your biggest issue.
You don't give the world much and yet you expect lots in return. You expect me to coach you like I would my best student, but you only do message coaching and you don't even do the work I tell you to do. I go above and beyond to help you for the money you give me, and you spit in my face by insulting me and the company on our own forum as some act of "defiance" against Evil Hector. You want pussy but you aren't a man worthy of pussy. You spend damn near a year pining after a girl who you only talked to over the internet and never even actually saw over video. Only pictures and a voice call. I told you to stop wasting your time and you wouldn't listen. You only stopped, IIRC, because she started ghosting you.
You put so much energy into unworthy things and so little energy into that which is worthy.
I don't think you even care about people, really. Though, you have some redeeming qualities of self reflection, as seen here.
But you still feel the way of the original message. That root of hatred for people for not giving you what you want and not treating you like a king. Maybe you were royalty in a previous life and expect to be treated as such in this life. Well, you need to earn that position of power and right now, you have not much worthy of the title.
I helped you with some questions last month and when I realized you didn't pay, THAT'S when you came to me upset about your results and didn't pay me for the work I did do.
Want to know the worst of it?
I had no fucking clue you felt this way. At all. Your post on this forum sounds like someone who was getting treated like shit and finally spoke up to the injustices you were being subjected to. Dude....I had ZERO fucking idea you were feeling this way. All your messages were love emojis, thank you's, and such and so forth. Am I supposed to mind read that you are upset with me? Honestly, I don't think you are upset with me. I think you're upset with yourself but convinced yourself I was the issue and now have latched onto that scapegoat because it makes you feel better.
It's not you! It's not you, of course not!
It's coaching. Coaching doesn't work.
And especially coaching from Hector. He abandons you and doesn't help you even when you pay him so much!
You are avoiding the problem.
I think you are entitled, spoiled, and on top of that, you lack virtue. You clearly do not have the empathy and love for people that it requires to be good with people. The more I learn in this journey the more I understand that people who leech and suck from others usually get treated exactly the way they deserve. You are not without virtue, but it is lacking severely. Ontop of needing to actually do the work and be patient, you need to be a better person. Give and others will give back. If they don't, then they don't, but you still need to give. Emotions, love, kindness, caring - all of it. Give it to people and your results will be boundless. But you currently give the world almost nothing. You have intelligence but do nothing of importance with it. Give people something that is worthy and people will give to you back things that are worthy. It is a natural law.
Until then, you will continue to suffer in loneliness and despair.
It's your choice.
This is my final lesson to you. I've spent an hour writing this message and will receive no payment for it, despite this probably being the best lesson I've ever given you.
I do it to defend the name of our company and myself, but also to help you. I hope you realize that after the feelings of shame dissipate.
If you learn from this message, it will be worth millions. If you don't , it will be worthless words on a page.
Your choice.
Gold or shit.
You have potential. Many people have potential. But unless you take responsibility for your own growth, you will never realize it.
You did get one thing right in your message. Don't put anyone on a pedestal. You can get to the level of anyone who has ever existed, if you put in the work. Don't kiss my ass or anyone's ass.
But if someone IS better than you at something and they are helping you, then listen and listen well.
You can be someone's student without worshiping them. Your worship was your mistake, not mine.
I wish you all the happiness and luck in the world, man. May you have everything you want and more.
Good luck and goodbye.
Hector
