- Joined
- Dec 5, 2014
- Messages
- 41
Greetings everyone,
I experienced something that caught me totally off-guard, a few days ago and I like your opinions/facts/advice on this matter.
__________
(My second FR here. I really should post more often on the boards)
Met up with a girl who is an orbiter in my social circle (I rarely run into her, but when I do, she gives me some IOI, so I thought "..ehh might as well ask her out, and see where it goes").
Let's call her 'R'
I show up, wait a few minutes while I stare at the passing traffic, she shows up about 10 minutes later carrying a few things with both hands (some vaseline and one of those plastic/rubber containers that you fill up with hot water, and use to keep to your hands warm. Forgot what it's called - sorry)
"Oh well, so much for greeting her with a hug." - me
I give 'R' a verbal greeting and jokingly comment on her need to keep her hands warm at 13:00 pm, while it's not so cold outside.
We walk for a bit and (red flag #1) she goes: "hey that's my friend" and calls her over. She introduces me to her and we exchange greetings.
'R' hands her friend the stuff she was carrying and I assume 'R's friend will keep the stuff for her till she comes back. But then...
"Didn't see that one coming" - I think to myself.
Ok. 5 minutes into this meet-up and we already waiting for her friend to join us.
Threw. Me. Off. Totally.
I recover from my shock, and we talk a bit.
Her: I heard you were dating someone.
Me: I heard that rumor too, but don't believe such stories.
Her: I heard it from the girl herself, but I forgot her name.
Me: Haha, no, I'm single and alone, it's so sad.
Her: But what about me, you're dumping me too.
Me: Ehh.. Nah, you know you know you'll always be my number one girl (she set a frame, so I just went along with it, for shits and giggles)
We talk a bit, till her friend comes back.
I'm stuck now, as I wonder how to handle this, so I shut up for a while and let them talk.
R: ...this is my BFF
Me: I can see that (as I laugh.... Had no clue what to say)
R: (to her friend) ...and this is Sam.. My BF...................F (she paused 3 seconds before saying the last F)
Friend: ...laughs...
We start walking and talking at some point we cross a small bridge that goes over a train track and R climbs onto a few pieces of wood along the sidewalk of the bridge (no, I did not let her get on the guard rail) and asks me if I'll catch her if she jumps, to which I jokingly reply, "nope, I'm probably gonna move out the way and let you land on the ground" and before I could say anything else, she jumps off the thing (it's not as high as it sounds), forcing me to catch her in a piggy-back positon. Now she's on my back, so I put her down as we laugh about it.
R's friend is the quiet type, like me, so I have no clue how to engage her accept to ask: "How do you deal with a crazy friend like R?"
Some touching and holding takes place between R and I, but I pull away first, cause I don't want to her friend to feel left out.
We all take a seat and we talk a bit more, while I wonder how to manage these two girls at the same time. But our meet-up is cut short when R remembers that she has to go meet up with her mother, so I walk them halfway to their destination, while R tells me about how much of a good kisser she is, but she can't give me a demonstration of her skill because her friend ''is with us''.
I failed to realise that she was trying to get me to isolate her for a one-on-one ''demonstration''.
I gave both of them hugs and dragged myself home, feeling like an idiot after I realised that I missed an escalation window.
___________
Thoughts and questions:
1. R totally threw me off when she invited her friend. How does one handle a situation like that?
2. I was stuck in my head too much, wondering how to handle the situation. Instead of just going with the flow and trying to isolate R
3. Serious error here - I barely talked to her friend.
____________
Feel free to point any mistakes that I made, I posted this because I'd like some feedback from you guys.
- Sam
I experienced something that caught me totally off-guard, a few days ago and I like your opinions/facts/advice on this matter.
__________
(My second FR here. I really should post more often on the boards)
Met up with a girl who is an orbiter in my social circle (I rarely run into her, but when I do, she gives me some IOI, so I thought "..ehh might as well ask her out, and see where it goes").
Let's call her 'R'
I show up, wait a few minutes while I stare at the passing traffic, she shows up about 10 minutes later carrying a few things with both hands (some vaseline and one of those plastic/rubber containers that you fill up with hot water, and use to keep to your hands warm. Forgot what it's called - sorry)
"Oh well, so much for greeting her with a hug." - me
I give 'R' a verbal greeting and jokingly comment on her need to keep her hands warm at 13:00 pm, while it's not so cold outside.
We walk for a bit and (red flag #1) she goes: "hey that's my friend" and calls her over. She introduces me to her and we exchange greetings.
'R' hands her friend the stuff she was carrying and I assume 'R's friend will keep the stuff for her till she comes back. But then...
"Didn't see that one coming" - I think to myself.
Ok. 5 minutes into this meet-up and we already waiting for her friend to join us.
Threw. Me. Off. Totally.
I recover from my shock, and we talk a bit.
Her: I heard you were dating someone.
Me: I heard that rumor too, but don't believe such stories.
Her: I heard it from the girl herself, but I forgot her name.
Me: Haha, no, I'm single and alone, it's so sad.
Her: But what about me, you're dumping me too.
Me: Ehh.. Nah, you know you know you'll always be my number one girl (she set a frame, so I just went along with it, for shits and giggles)
We talk a bit, till her friend comes back.
I'm stuck now, as I wonder how to handle this, so I shut up for a while and let them talk.
R: ...this is my BFF
Me: I can see that (as I laugh.... Had no clue what to say)
R: (to her friend) ...and this is Sam.. My BF...................F (she paused 3 seconds before saying the last F)
Friend: ...laughs...
We start walking and talking at some point we cross a small bridge that goes over a train track and R climbs onto a few pieces of wood along the sidewalk of the bridge (no, I did not let her get on the guard rail) and asks me if I'll catch her if she jumps, to which I jokingly reply, "nope, I'm probably gonna move out the way and let you land on the ground" and before I could say anything else, she jumps off the thing (it's not as high as it sounds), forcing me to catch her in a piggy-back positon. Now she's on my back, so I put her down as we laugh about it.
R's friend is the quiet type, like me, so I have no clue how to engage her accept to ask: "How do you deal with a crazy friend like R?"
Some touching and holding takes place between R and I, but I pull away first, cause I don't want to her friend to feel left out.
We all take a seat and we talk a bit more, while I wonder how to manage these two girls at the same time. But our meet-up is cut short when R remembers that she has to go meet up with her mother, so I walk them halfway to their destination, while R tells me about how much of a good kisser she is, but she can't give me a demonstration of her skill because her friend ''is with us''.
I failed to realise that she was trying to get me to isolate her for a one-on-one ''demonstration''.
I gave both of them hugs and dragged myself home, feeling like an idiot after I realised that I missed an escalation window.
___________
Thoughts and questions:
1. R totally threw me off when she invited her friend. How does one handle a situation like that?
2. I was stuck in my head too much, wondering how to handle the situation. Instead of just going with the flow and trying to isolate R
3. Serious error here - I barely talked to her friend.
____________
Feel free to point any mistakes that I made, I posted this because I'd like some feedback from you guys.
- Sam
