OK, so this is my first post on here, so I'd like to to introduce myself. Like many others (I suspect!) I've been a lurker on the forum and the website for a little while, taking on as much information as possible, but not really tackling my own interactions as systematically or analytically as I ought to. I'm off travelling this Summer, however, and so this seems a perfect opportunity to properly kick-start my efforts to get better with people.
My aims (for the time being) are relatively humble: feel comfortable engaging with the people around me, whether just in a friendly way or with sexual intent; have more fun with the people I interact with - at the moment my game is pretty crude, and in need of refinement, so I figure that as I improve my interactions with people will also get richer; to get more options sexually/romantically for myself. Fairly standard really.
At the moment, I would say my fundamentals are pretty good - I'm told I'm good looking, I do a lot of sport, and other activities (which gives me ample opportunities to meet different people, and to lead a varied life), and I consider myself fairly successful at what I do. Current sticking points, however:
- approaching - naturally, as a newbie this is one of the first hurdles to be overcome. Especially with cold approach, I'm held back by the thought that people around might think I'm a bit of a creeper, e.g. approaching girls in a coffee shop out of the blue.
- allowing myself to be slotted into the 'boyfriend' category - I get a bit afraid of disqualifying myself as a boyfriend and trying to be more of a 'lover'. Again, more from a concern for reputation, and what other people might think.
- 'chat' - often doesn't flow very well. I can be quite quiet - currently working on translating this to being 'mysterious', but with mixed results. Generally interactions start out pretty well, but fizzle out with time as I fail to maintain interest and escalate.
- tendency to 'fall' for the girl very early on - told my first GF I loved her after only 4 weeks, reached similar emotional states with other girls I was only seeing casually (thankfully had the good sense not to tell them though). This was pre- reading one of Chase's posts on gaining/minimising own investment, which seems to have improved things somewhat. Probably also an abundance issue.
Other general background - I'm a Londoner, off to University in September. Still living with parents, and outside of the public transport network too, which can be a bit of a logistical nightmare! Had a couple of girls I've been with, one GF, but overall inexperience is another issue to be addressed.
Bit of a self-indulgent first post, but more meat and specifics to follow in the form of field reports etc. Here's to the start of something!
Odysseus
My aims (for the time being) are relatively humble: feel comfortable engaging with the people around me, whether just in a friendly way or with sexual intent; have more fun with the people I interact with - at the moment my game is pretty crude, and in need of refinement, so I figure that as I improve my interactions with people will also get richer; to get more options sexually/romantically for myself. Fairly standard really.
At the moment, I would say my fundamentals are pretty good - I'm told I'm good looking, I do a lot of sport, and other activities (which gives me ample opportunities to meet different people, and to lead a varied life), and I consider myself fairly successful at what I do. Current sticking points, however:
- approaching - naturally, as a newbie this is one of the first hurdles to be overcome. Especially with cold approach, I'm held back by the thought that people around might think I'm a bit of a creeper, e.g. approaching girls in a coffee shop out of the blue.
- allowing myself to be slotted into the 'boyfriend' category - I get a bit afraid of disqualifying myself as a boyfriend and trying to be more of a 'lover'. Again, more from a concern for reputation, and what other people might think.
- 'chat' - often doesn't flow very well. I can be quite quiet - currently working on translating this to being 'mysterious', but with mixed results. Generally interactions start out pretty well, but fizzle out with time as I fail to maintain interest and escalate.
- tendency to 'fall' for the girl very early on - told my first GF I loved her after only 4 weeks, reached similar emotional states with other girls I was only seeing casually (thankfully had the good sense not to tell them though). This was pre- reading one of Chase's posts on gaining/minimising own investment, which seems to have improved things somewhat. Probably also an abundance issue.
Other general background - I'm a Londoner, off to University in September. Still living with parents, and outside of the public transport network too, which can be a bit of a logistical nightmare! Had a couple of girls I've been with, one GF, but overall inexperience is another issue to be addressed.
Bit of a self-indulgent first post, but more meat and specifics to follow in the form of field reports etc. Here's to the start of something!
Odysseus