- Joined
- Nov 14, 2017
- Messages
- 346
I still have to post my findings of why I'm still 98% certain that an extended leave of absence of sorts from this continent is my best strategy for meeting more women, but in the meantime I got a text from Camilliah out of the blue which has turned into a situation I'm not sure what to do about.
Camilliah is a girl I originally knew from adolescence. At that time we liked each other at alternate times. In spite of my having been clueless, at one point she enlisted the help of a friend to rip off my clothes. Unfortunately, instead of this turning into a threesome with two cute black girls, I became the biggest idiot on the planet by shooing them off in the interests of a oneitis. (About the third most stupid thing I have ever done in my entire life.)
We drifted and totally lost touch for a number of years. I looked her up one day and we minimally got back in contact, and found her in a lesbian LTR (as of now like 15 year!). A more experienced friend read her as bisexual (which I suspect is the vast majority of "lesbians"). We went a number of years more where we'd very occasionally say hi, maybe suggest finally meeting again, only to drop it (usually my neglecting to follow up).
We finally did meet in March this year. First time, I got her home easily, but I was too scared to really escalate and didn't manage unknown time constraints effectively so nothing happened. Shortly after, I got into her home in her nearby city (which is maybe a 30 minute drive), but due to an infant plus my lack of creativity, this was only a brief visit and I didn't really get to escalate. That story is given more here and here. From there we discussed meeting again but logistics were not great and I didn't want to pursue meeting without the possibility of ample alone time, so it fell by the wayside and we've only been in very occasional contact since.
She did mention eventually getting the infant into preschool, which would free up some time. But I was busy with other girl matters around the time this was to happen so didn't follow up.
Well, the other day I heard from her out of nowhere, so of course I tried to jump on it:
Shortly after I sent that, I kicked myself for not having appended a meetup proposal or probe for logistics, as it left shit in her hands. But I also didn't want to "double text" (even though she's done so). I kind of wish I had, since I allowed things to turn south.
Or maybe she already has me firmly slotted into the "friend box". Or maybe she doesn't trust herself and absolutely doesn't want to cheat on the girlfriend (if indeed it would be - I don't know their rules).
Or is it just, she needs more comfort first after half a year of little contact?
So far I haven't answered. I really don't know how to answer.
Not that I don't want to be friends with her, but at this point in my life, I've spent far too much of it being an innocent friend to girls (when not avoiding them entirely), so I don't feel like engaging in purely asexual relations with her at this particular moment.
So, questions:
I realize my best chance to sleep with this girl was years ago, and I'm certainly not sitting here pining over her. I'm talking to several fresh girls, though unfortunately they're a lot less responsive and certainly don't contact me of their own accord like this one does. So I'm of the attitude, may as well try, but keep it low effort and don't bother to get into a meet that isn't conducive to seducing her. I'm just not sure what is my best next move from that perspective.
Camilliah is a girl I originally knew from adolescence. At that time we liked each other at alternate times. In spite of my having been clueless, at one point she enlisted the help of a friend to rip off my clothes. Unfortunately, instead of this turning into a threesome with two cute black girls, I became the biggest idiot on the planet by shooing them off in the interests of a oneitis. (About the third most stupid thing I have ever done in my entire life.)
We drifted and totally lost touch for a number of years. I looked her up one day and we minimally got back in contact, and found her in a lesbian LTR (as of now like 15 year!). A more experienced friend read her as bisexual (which I suspect is the vast majority of "lesbians"). We went a number of years more where we'd very occasionally say hi, maybe suggest finally meeting again, only to drop it (usually my neglecting to follow up).
We finally did meet in March this year. First time, I got her home easily, but I was too scared to really escalate and didn't manage unknown time constraints effectively so nothing happened. Shortly after, I got into her home in her nearby city (which is maybe a 30 minute drive), but due to an infant plus my lack of creativity, this was only a brief visit and I didn't really get to escalate. That story is given more here and here. From there we discussed meeting again but logistics were not great and I didn't want to pursue meeting without the possibility of ample alone time, so it fell by the wayside and we've only been in very occasional contact since.
She did mention eventually getting the infant into preschool, which would free up some time. But I was busy with other girl matters around the time this was to happen so didn't follow up.
Well, the other day I heard from her out of nowhere, so of course I tried to jump on it:
Earlier in the year she'd wanted to see these pictures but we didn't get around to it.
Shortly after I sent that, I kicked myself for not having appended a meetup proposal or probe for logistics, as it left shit in her hands. But I also didn't want to "double text" (even though she's done so). I kind of wish I had, since I allowed things to turn south.
I tried this in part because logistics for coffee are not perfect, but more so because I wanted to get her straight home instead of fuss with additional steps that could go wrong. It's not like we don't know each other or haven't been in each other's homes, so meeting somewhere else feels like taking a step backwards.[53 min.]
her: Let's get coffee
Saturday evening
me: They closed up all the decent coffee places near me, so grab us some on the way (well, me I rather hot chocolate
Ok, this is getting ridiculous. I almost feel like we are playing a game of:
I feel like if I go along with her plan to meet somewhere else, I lost the frame battle and we're not going to fuck.
Or maybe she already has me firmly slotted into the "friend box". Or maybe she doesn't trust herself and absolutely doesn't want to cheat on the girlfriend (if indeed it would be - I don't know their rules).
Or is it just, she needs more comfort first after half a year of little contact?
So far I haven't answered. I really don't know how to answer.
Not that I don't want to be friends with her, but at this point in my life, I've spent far too much of it being an innocent friend to girls (when not avoiding them entirely), so I don't feel like engaging in purely asexual relations with her at this particular moment.
So, questions:
- Am I correct in my feeling that meeting somewhere other than our homes at this point is bad news?
- If so, what can I try to get her to give in and meet at my (or her) place? I do have other excuses for my place beyond just the photos, but I get the feeling there's more going on here that I need to address.
I realize my best chance to sleep with this girl was years ago, and I'm certainly not sitting here pining over her. I'm talking to several fresh girls, though unfortunately they're a lot less responsive and certainly don't contact me of their own accord like this one does. So I'm of the attitude, may as well try, but keep it low effort and don't bother to get into a meet that isn't conducive to seducing her. I'm just not sure what is my best next move from that perspective.
