- Joined
- Aug 23, 2013
- Messages
- 2,328
Hi all.
I received a PM from Darkknight which I originally started responding to, but then realized other people may find my response useful, as Darkknight asks a good question concerning an issue that I believe many of you have faced, and will face in the future.
Thanks. Happy to hear my posts are of help.
A stressful situation indeed and not an uncommon one - you will have similar situations in club settings (i.e. clubs are closing and you still haven't had the time to lay all the groundwork for a "smooth" pull yet).
And it is a tricky one. As you know, things can go both ways. I think it is important to have good rules of thumb here, and stick to them. Usually you are forced to make such calls in rough situation that may be stressful at times, where you are constrained by time. The solution is to have a rule and stick to it (that rule needs to be adjusted and based on what has given you the most success based on probabilities based on earlier success). Indecisiveness always leads to bad results and this what you want to avoid at all time.
In my case, I know I have a higher probability of getting her if I go for the kill right now. This is because my "in-person game" is strong and because I am pretty good at pulling right there and then. I know my text-game is total trash, and hence going for the kill right now is my best call. This may differ for other people, who may have far superior text game to me and who happen to have a very low flake rate. I still believe that it is better to go for the kill right away, but I can totally see someone make a case against such proposition.
Very good question.
To respond to your question: there is something in-between going "all direct" and waiting/going for a second meeting another time. As you probably know going for a second date, although good in theory has many flows such as it is open up for flakes and other issues.
You can set up an instant date or even extract (if you think you have compliance to do it - must admit, that this would be more of a hailmarry thing to do) in an indirect way!
This is where PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY comes in handy.
For example:
- Use the sunny day as an excuse to "hey let's not go home right away but enjoy the good weather".
- Or use the great conversation if you are having one as an excuse to have an instant date (this is my go-to) "hey we should keep this chat going, lets grab something to eat/drink/coffee) etc.
- You can also set up any other plausible deniability such as in my case (I am a tea enthusiast) talking about different types of teas from different place and how to brew them, how they taste and how they feel on your body (tea is actually a girl-hobby believe it or not) and showing them my crazy Chinese tea set, which intrigues girls. I then use this as an excuse to pull (actually I have had girls asking me if they can come to me to try my teas....). You can do the same with art (bacchus/dan does this), wine collections, and whatever cool stuff you have at home (must however be something women are interested in - e.g. your warhammer collection won't work)
With the latter strategy, you need to set up the plausible deniability preferably in the middle of the interaction and not at the moment when you need to pull. But I know this is not always doable, hence you can still try to set it up right before pulling. In my experience it is less efficient, but can work and if it doesn't, you can still opt for the second option that you suggest - i.e. taking her number. In other words, it may not work, but no damage is done.
The idea is that you want to go for option 1 (instant date pull) while having option 2 (taking her contact, see her later) open if option 1 is not working. To guarantee the most success with option 1, you need to maintain strong compliance and a strong frame (i.e. avoid going direct) when attempting to isolate/extract her.
Plausible deniability is what you need to read up on! and is the solution to your problem.
To sum up: my rule of thumb is: always try to push things forward rather than playing it too safe (exception occurs and of course, it is all situational - but in general this is a good rule). However, I always do some in a way to avoid any collateral damage, should my plan not work.
Hence, in your case, I would attempt to go for some instant date of some sort (by asking her for a low compliance instant date such as eating or drinking something nearby) and keep things "indirect" (keeping your frame and your level of compliant) through plausible deniability.
Pulling, extraction and isolation is done through deniability - this is how you escalate logistically with indirect game.
Hope this responds to your question.
Best,
Teev/Alek
I received a PM from Darkknight which I originally started responding to, but then realized other people may find my response useful, as Darkknight asks a good question concerning an issue that I believe many of you have faced, and will face in the future.
Thanks. Happy to hear my posts are of help.
A stressful situation indeed and not an uncommon one - you will have similar situations in club settings (i.e. clubs are closing and you still haven't had the time to lay all the groundwork for a "smooth" pull yet).
And it is a tricky one. As you know, things can go both ways. I think it is important to have good rules of thumb here, and stick to them. Usually you are forced to make such calls in rough situation that may be stressful at times, where you are constrained by time. The solution is to have a rule and stick to it (that rule needs to be adjusted and based on what has given you the most success based on probabilities based on earlier success). Indecisiveness always leads to bad results and this what you want to avoid at all time.
In my case, I know I have a higher probability of getting her if I go for the kill right now. This is because my "in-person game" is strong and because I am pretty good at pulling right there and then. I know my text-game is total trash, and hence going for the kill right now is my best call. This may differ for other people, who may have far superior text game to me and who happen to have a very low flake rate. I still believe that it is better to go for the kill right away, but I can totally see someone make a case against such proposition.
Very good question.
To respond to your question: there is something in-between going "all direct" and waiting/going for a second meeting another time. As you probably know going for a second date, although good in theory has many flows such as it is open up for flakes and other issues.
You can set up an instant date or even extract (if you think you have compliance to do it - must admit, that this would be more of a hailmarry thing to do) in an indirect way!
This is where PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY comes in handy.
For example:
- Use the sunny day as an excuse to "hey let's not go home right away but enjoy the good weather".
- Or use the great conversation if you are having one as an excuse to have an instant date (this is my go-to) "hey we should keep this chat going, lets grab something to eat/drink/coffee) etc.
- You can also set up any other plausible deniability such as in my case (I am a tea enthusiast) talking about different types of teas from different place and how to brew them, how they taste and how they feel on your body (tea is actually a girl-hobby believe it or not) and showing them my crazy Chinese tea set, which intrigues girls. I then use this as an excuse to pull (actually I have had girls asking me if they can come to me to try my teas....). You can do the same with art (bacchus/dan does this), wine collections, and whatever cool stuff you have at home (must however be something women are interested in - e.g. your warhammer collection won't work)
With the latter strategy, you need to set up the plausible deniability preferably in the middle of the interaction and not at the moment when you need to pull. But I know this is not always doable, hence you can still try to set it up right before pulling. In my experience it is less efficient, but can work and if it doesn't, you can still opt for the second option that you suggest - i.e. taking her number. In other words, it may not work, but no damage is done.
The idea is that you want to go for option 1 (instant date pull) while having option 2 (taking her contact, see her later) open if option 1 is not working. To guarantee the most success with option 1, you need to maintain strong compliance and a strong frame (i.e. avoid going direct) when attempting to isolate/extract her.
Plausible deniability is what you need to read up on! and is the solution to your problem.
To sum up: my rule of thumb is: always try to push things forward rather than playing it too safe (exception occurs and of course, it is all situational - but in general this is a good rule). However, I always do some in a way to avoid any collateral damage, should my plan not work.
Hence, in your case, I would attempt to go for some instant date of some sort (by asking her for a low compliance instant date such as eating or drinking something nearby) and keep things "indirect" (keeping your frame and your level of compliant) through plausible deniability.
Pulling, extraction and isolation is done through deniability - this is how you escalate logistically with indirect game.
Hope this responds to your question.
Best,
Teev/Alek
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