- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 6,246
Over the years, we've had many men on the autism spectrum, with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or with borderline personality disorder (BPD) join the Skilled Seducer Forum.
Some of these men have integrated well. Some are still productive members of the community today.
However, a not insignificant portion of such men who join this forum repeat the same series of (often unintentionally) antagonistic behaviors.
These behaviors lead us to expel them from the forum for the good of the rest of the community.
If you are on the autism spectrum, and/or have ADHD or BPD, and you'd like to ensure you continue to have access to this forum and NOT end up getting yourself banned, READ THE BELOW AND FOLLOW IT.
RESPECT VS. CONFLICT
(very common problem among autistic, ADHD, and BPD men)
The men who participate on Skilled Seducer become familiar to one another over time.
They aren't all friends (though many do become friends), however a certain level of RESPECT is required.
Where there is not RESPECT, there is CONFLICT.
And where there is CONFLICT, people take sides.
As a new member, if you do not behave in a RESPECTFUL MANNER towards others, you will cause CONFLICT, which will force people to take sides.
Because you are new, they will take the sides of other members they know better than you, including members you are directly conflicting with.
This will EXPAND your antagonists beyond those you are immediately engaged with, to also include other members of the forum sympathetic to those members.
Moderators are also likely to side against you, regardless "who started" the conflict, because in the moderators' viewpoint, we will be looking at a forum that was conflict-free before you joined, then suddenly you joined and there was CONFLICT. Most likely directly involving multiple forum members, all centered upon YOU.
In other words, by behaving in DISRESPECTFUL WAYS toward existing members of the forum, you will trigger a kind of "social immune response" that causes others to band together against you in a growing conflict.
Disrespect that risks triggering this "social immune response" includes:
In other words:
If you want to participate here,
Mind your manners.
BEING AN ASKHOLE
(most common among autistic men)
A certain portion of autistic men tend to ask the same questions again and again, never being satisfied with the responses they get, dismissing all responses as unsuitable or impractical.
Sometimes they claim to have tested the solution already and found it lacking. Sometimes they're uninterested in testing it because they can't see a pathway to making it work.
This is an advice-oriented forum. We give each other advice, then test that advice. It's very grating to have someone supposedly asking for advice, who then rejects all advice, rarely bothers to even test the advice, then asks for more advice, only to repeat the process again and again.
If you want to make friends, TEST THE ADVICE YOU RECEIVE.
If you're unable to make it work, that's fine. Post a Field Report describing the outing you tested it in, exactly what you did, and what the result of your tests were. This will get you more specific advice and allow others to see mistakes you may be making that you may not even realize you are making.
Repetitively posting questions then dismissing all the advice just annoys everyone and makes them not want to help you.
NEEDING TO BE LOVED
(most common among borderline men)
BPD men have a strong need for adoration, adulation, and praise.
We get it; it's part and parcel with being BPD. You are "hungry for love", we might say.
The problem comes when BPD men become overly fixated on using this place as their validation font, and begin seeking validation in antagonistic, destructive, and self-destructive ways.
This includes:
When BPD men begin one of these "smear campaigns", they most often target senior members, as getting a "kill" on a senior member would presumably raise the BPD man's status within the group (or so it seems in the BPD man's psychology).
The result of this of course is that this behavior triggers the forum's "social immune system", turns everyone against the BPD man, and gets him booted out permanently.
To understand why this happens, and how you SHOULD be behaving as a member of a community, read here:
www.skilledseducer.com
THIS IS A SEDUCTION FORUM; WE HAVE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE
We are not falling for flimsy claims of victimhood, being "singled out", that "all the other members on here are charlatans", etc.
We've had dozens of guys wander on here, spark conflicts, then attempt these and many other angles to try to curry favor with moderators and get their supposed antagonists (always members with far more seniority than they have) booted off.
It doesn't work.
None of us was born yesterday.
If you think you're going to come onto a seduction forum and bamboozle us with D-tier manipulation tactics, you will just get banned.
If you want to be here, you are going to have to play by the rules.
If you can't do that, then Reddit or the YouTube comments section await
That outta the way:
Let's have a great time on here, learn and grow together, and YES -- make FRIENDS!
(autistic men especially: a forum is not an inanimate resource you can simply mine for information like ChatGPT. It is a collection of humans, seeking camaraderie, warm and fuzzy feelings, and shared growth; if they weren't seeking these things, they wouldn't bother helping out for free. This is important to understand; while you may be here for the information, they are here for social and emotional reasons -- you must behave in ways that respect that to acquire the information you're in search of)
Warmly,
Chase Amante
Some of these men have integrated well. Some are still productive members of the community today.
However, a not insignificant portion of such men who join this forum repeat the same series of (often unintentionally) antagonistic behaviors.
These behaviors lead us to expel them from the forum for the good of the rest of the community.
If you are on the autism spectrum, and/or have ADHD or BPD, and you'd like to ensure you continue to have access to this forum and NOT end up getting yourself banned, READ THE BELOW AND FOLLOW IT.
RESPECT VS. CONFLICT
(very common problem among autistic, ADHD, and BPD men)
The men who participate on Skilled Seducer become familiar to one another over time.
They aren't all friends (though many do become friends), however a certain level of RESPECT is required.
Where there is not RESPECT, there is CONFLICT.
And where there is CONFLICT, people take sides.
As a new member, if you do not behave in a RESPECTFUL MANNER towards others, you will cause CONFLICT, which will force people to take sides.
Because you are new, they will take the sides of other members they know better than you, including members you are directly conflicting with.
This will EXPAND your antagonists beyond those you are immediately engaged with, to also include other members of the forum sympathetic to those members.
Moderators are also likely to side against you, regardless "who started" the conflict, because in the moderators' viewpoint, we will be looking at a forum that was conflict-free before you joined, then suddenly you joined and there was CONFLICT. Most likely directly involving multiple forum members, all centered upon YOU.
In other words, by behaving in DISRESPECTFUL WAYS toward existing members of the forum, you will trigger a kind of "social immune response" that causes others to band together against you in a growing conflict.
Disrespect that risks triggering this "social immune response" includes:
- Asking a member not to participate on your posts/threads (light disrespect or even none at all if done tactfully enough)
- Claiming another member does not know what he is talking about (moderate disrespect)
- Calling another member a liar or a fraud (moderate-to-heavy disrespect)
- Swearing at another member, calling him names, or threatening him (heavy disrespect)
You may tactfully ask a member not to participate on your posts/threads. We will not ban you for that. However, as we keep this forum quite troll-free, if you are having to do that, especially if you do it with more than one poster, it is going to begin to suggest to everyone here that there is a problem with YOU, not the (multiple) people you are conflicting with.
WRT "you don't know what you're talking about", "you're making things up", "you're a charlatan", etc.: it is not for new members to decide who is legitimate or who is a fraud. We have a ranking system for that and expect you to trust it. If you don't trust it, this is not the right forum for you. If you're not sure why, read the post on it:
www.skilledseducer.com
Insulting people or swearing is just straight up churlish, rude behavior. It is socially unintelligent and marks the insulter as lacking in sufficient rhetorical ability or social grace to argue his point without retreating to kindergarten-esque temper tantrums. While that may be acceptable on some of the free-for-all social media sites you participate in, it wouldn't be accepted in your classroom or workplace, and we won't accept it from you here.
WRT "you don't know what you're talking about", "you're making things up", "you're a charlatan", etc.: it is not for new members to decide who is legitimate or who is a fraud. We have a ranking system for that and expect you to trust it. If you don't trust it, this is not the right forum for you. If you're not sure why, read the post on it:
How Do I Know Members on the Forum Aren't Making Everything Up?
This is a question we see from time-to-time from new members. Sometimes it is asked earnestly. Sometimes it comes out as cognitive dissonance, where a new member argues members who have greater seniority than he has are lying, exaggerating, or charlatans. The new member may be: Genuinely...
www.skilledseducer.com
Insulting people or swearing is just straight up churlish, rude behavior. It is socially unintelligent and marks the insulter as lacking in sufficient rhetorical ability or social grace to argue his point without retreating to kindergarten-esque temper tantrums. While that may be acceptable on some of the free-for-all social media sites you participate in, it wouldn't be accepted in your classroom or workplace, and we won't accept it from you here.
In other words:
If you want to participate here,
Mind your manners.
BEING AN ASKHOLE
(most common among autistic men)
A certain portion of autistic men tend to ask the same questions again and again, never being satisfied with the responses they get, dismissing all responses as unsuitable or impractical.
Sometimes they claim to have tested the solution already and found it lacking. Sometimes they're uninterested in testing it because they can't see a pathway to making it work.
This is an advice-oriented forum. We give each other advice, then test that advice. It's very grating to have someone supposedly asking for advice, who then rejects all advice, rarely bothers to even test the advice, then asks for more advice, only to repeat the process again and again.
If you want to make friends, TEST THE ADVICE YOU RECEIVE.
If you're unable to make it work, that's fine. Post a Field Report describing the outing you tested it in, exactly what you did, and what the result of your tests were. This will get you more specific advice and allow others to see mistakes you may be making that you may not even realize you are making.
Repetitively posting questions then dismissing all the advice just annoys everyone and makes them not want to help you.
NEEDING TO BE LOVED
(most common among borderline men)
BPD men have a strong need for adoration, adulation, and praise.
We get it; it's part and parcel with being BPD. You are "hungry for love", we might say.
The problem comes when BPD men become overly fixated on using this place as their validation font, and begin seeking validation in antagonistic, destructive, and self-destructive ways.
This includes:
- Exaggerating one's contributions and innovations
- Claiming as one's own renamed or rebranded tactics taken from others
- Inflating one's value to the community
- Accusing others of stealing one's ideas or techniques
- Accusing others of being complete charlatans or frauds
When BPD men begin one of these "smear campaigns", they most often target senior members, as getting a "kill" on a senior member would presumably raise the BPD man's status within the group (or so it seems in the BPD man's psychology).
The result of this of course is that this behavior triggers the forum's "social immune system", turns everyone against the BPD man, and gets him booted out permanently.
To understand why this happens, and how you SHOULD be behaving as a member of a community, read here:
New to Forums? HOW TO BEHAVE to Make Friends & Not Be a Drama Queen
Welcome to the Boards! You’re new here, and that’s exciting. There’s a TON of very valuable information in this forum, some exceptionally high level members, plenty of other enthusiastic playboys who will be happy to join forces with you on your journey, and many excellent times ahead. Not...
www.skilledseducer.com
THIS IS A SEDUCTION FORUM; WE HAVE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE
We are not falling for flimsy claims of victimhood, being "singled out", that "all the other members on here are charlatans", etc.
We've had dozens of guys wander on here, spark conflicts, then attempt these and many other angles to try to curry favor with moderators and get their supposed antagonists (always members with far more seniority than they have) booted off.
It doesn't work.
None of us was born yesterday.
If you think you're going to come onto a seduction forum and bamboozle us with D-tier manipulation tactics, you will just get banned.
If you want to be here, you are going to have to play by the rules.
If you can't do that, then Reddit or the YouTube comments section await
That outta the way:
Let's have a great time on here, learn and grow together, and YES -- make FRIENDS!
(autistic men especially: a forum is not an inanimate resource you can simply mine for information like ChatGPT. It is a collection of humans, seeking camaraderie, warm and fuzzy feelings, and shared growth; if they weren't seeking these things, they wouldn't bother helping out for free. This is important to understand; while you may be here for the information, they are here for social and emotional reasons -- you must behave in ways that respect that to acquire the information you're in search of)
Warmly,
Chase Amante
