One Year of Being a 25/26 Year Old Multimillionaire

[BallSoHard]

Despite have had ONS, FWB, and LTRs before I got the bag my life took a very different turn after. Things I learned for better or worse:

1. Women are scared/attracted to powerful men. This is hurting me a lot so I focus on being approachable warm etc but I have ways to go. It just seems weird to most women in their 20s that I don’t have a boss or a job to go to and drink Crystal every night. I am capable of using vagabond disqualifiers plus lifestyle hiding - I’m broke, I live with my parents - but I really hate that as it is dishonest. Unfortunately, that is a better position than limiting myself to 500k/yr+ women or something. This problem is not the same I think as being the ‘corporate guy’ because that guy has money but no time, I’m the guy with both and a lot of women just hate dealing with that.
2. A lot of women don’t play provider games if they know the guy “gets it”. Bringing up all of my past sexual experiences _really_ pushes providing out of the conversation. Looks + style can help I know but talking about SEX directly is the best move I think. Especially if you can honestly describe how great those experiences were. This pushes the convo along WITHOUT investment - you are relating past things that happened to you without hiding, that is almost 0 investment imo.
3. Most girls even in their 30s have nothing to offer outside looks and I’m sure even the experienced guys agree a 9/10 that is not needy - social circle money - is a hell of a lot more attractive than a 10/10 who is all looks. It seems like 99% of women are very money needy for some reason. I just don’t understand it when all the male money games are legally required to accept women and the women only money games - Female Twitch streamer - cannot take men at all. There are no men’s studies departments where you can only hire male employees why are women so broke? They could at least be average.
4. Finding the right male friends is the most important thing I think more important than most of the things you do yourself.
5. Fitness matters a ton since you are no longer looks disqualified and can get approached rather than do the approaching. I would tell people to care a lot about this.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Most girls even in their 30s have nothing to offer outside looks and I’m sure even the experienced guys agree a 9/10 that is not needy - social circle money - is a hell of a lot more attractive than a 10/10 who is all looks. It seems like 99% of women are very money needy for some reason. I just don’t understand it when all the male money games are legally required to accept women and the women only money games - Female Twitch streamer - cannot take men at all. There are no men’s studies departments where you can only hire male employees why are women so broke? They could at least be average.

z@c+

 

[FunkMaster69]

Despite have had ONS, FWB, and LTRs before I got the bag my life took a very different turn after. Things I learned for better or worse:

1. Women are scared/attracted to powerful men. This is hurting me a lot so I focus on being approachable warm etc but I have ways to go. It just seems weird to most women in their 20s that I don’t have a boss or a job to go to and drink Crystal every night. I am capable of using vagabond disqualifiers plus lifestyle hiding - I’m broke, I live with my parents - but I really hate that as it is dishonest. Unfortunately, that is a better position than limiting myself to 500k/yr+ women or something. This problem is not the same I think as being the ‘corporate guy’ because that guy has money but no time, I’m the guy with both and a lot of women just hate dealing with that.
2. A lot of women don’t play provider games if they know the guy “gets it”. Bringing up all of my past sexual experiences _really_ pushes providing out of the conversation. Looks + style can help I know but talking about SEX directly is the best move I think. Especially if you can honestly describe how great those experiences were. This pushes the convo along WITHOUT investment - you are relating past things that happened to you without hiding, that is almost 0 investment imo.
3. Most girls even in their 30s have nothing to offer outside looks and I’m sure even the experienced guys agree a 9/10 that is not needy - social circle money - is a hell of a lot more attractive than a 10/10 who is all looks. It seems like 99% of women are very money needy for some reason. I just don’t understand it when all the male money games are legally required to accept women and the women only money games - Female Twitch streamer - cannot take men at all. There are no men’s studies departments where you can only hire male employees why are women so broke? They could at least be average.
4. Finding the right male friends is the most important thing I think more important than most of the things you do yourself.
5. Fitness matters a ton since you are no longer looks disqualified and can get approached rather than do the approaching. I would tell people to care a lot about this.

It’s generally because most women become nurses and or social workers and other jobs that don’t pay a lot of money. There are very few female CEOs. Unless they are actors or musicians, you’re always going to be richer one.

I don’t necessarily think that they’re scared of you, it’s more like your the ideal female fantasy. Believe it or not, men are much more emotional than women. We just don’t show it. Typically, we’re the ones that marry for love. Ladies marry for all sorts of reasons. Money is a huge one... tbh among my friends, the welathier ones get more long term relationships than the poorer ones. That doesn’t mean that you can turn into a fat slob, but you are in a higher category. They’re probably nervous around you because they don’t wanna fuck things up, or that they know you have option.

Btw, I’ve recently started my own business and I’m trying to become wealthy like you too. I’d love to hear more about how money has changed the game for you and weather it was worth it or not.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Thank you for your perspective @BallSoHard

I’m not surprised you have to deal with clinginess or girls auto-rejecting.

Makes sense you’re a unicorn lol.

Money & socially connected? Check

Still Young? Check

Has game? Oh no... Now we have a problem as you can’t be controlled

2 Questions:

1) How do you handle going from business, get shit fixed mode to sociable/dating?

I struggle to turn off / on so go through phases

Suspect you may also have tha based of your “working on getting warmer” comment

2) Do you have access to higher quality girls that you couldn’t get before?

Either through social circle, flash game etc or the type of conversation you can now have

 

[Chase]

Great perspectives here, @BallSoHard.

A few comments:

1. Women are scared/attracted to powerful men. This is hurting me a lot so I focus on being approachable warm etc but I have ways to go. It just seems weird to most women in their 20s that I don’t have a boss or a job to go to and drink Crystal every night. I am capable of using vagabond disqualifiers plus lifestyle hiding - I’m broke, I live with my parents - but I really hate that as it is dishonest. Unfortunately, that is a better position than limiting myself to 500k/yr+ women or something. This problem is not the same I think as being the ‘corporate guy’ because that guy has money but no time, I’m the guy with both and a lot of women just hate dealing with that.

For the approachability... pick a pastime with some relation to money that can explain your bosslessness.

Anything in the arts is good: "I'm a writer", "I paint", "I sculpt", etc.

It gives women an understandable reason why you don't have a boss or a conventional schedule yet don't have to live at home and aren't on the street.

There's another problem with "I came into money" in that it doesn't feel replicable to people and often triggers a weird/unique sort of envy. e.g., "Someone just dropped that bag in your lap? Well what happens if you lost it all? You'd just be broke? And if someone just dropped a bag in your lap, you should be generous and pass it along, drop some bags in others' laps. Like mine, for instance!"

Reading about what happens to lottery winners is both sad and fascinating... it doesn't happen like this to any extent to people who make their money a lot more gradually and via a lot of prolonged focused effort (probably both because their circles gradually evolve as their holdings do, and because those who've known them long-term have a chance to adapt to it, and are better able to tell themselves, "He got that by slaving his ass off").

Another alternative is opening up a place of your own: café, nightclub, hostel, art gallery, etc. Place doesn't even necessarily have to make a lot of money, so long as it isn't burning a hole in your pocket and puts you in contact with the sorts of women you want and gives you a thing women can use to understand you: "Oh, I see. He's an art gallery owner. That's nice!"

Owning something also gives you an opportunity to show off some wealth, without a clear indication of how much wealth. Which generally will make it easier for you to meet successful women, who will tend to recognize, "Okay, this guy owns this place I like frequenting, and the place is quite nice. So he must be somewhere around my league, perhaps." Especially with posher places like an art gallery or a nice nightclub or lounge.

It also gives you an interesting, unusual, yet clear identity ('art gallery owner'), which makes it much easier for women to form a picture of you in their minds. "Oh, I don't know any art gallery owners. I see all these different traits and quirks and qualities he has. That must be how art gallery owners are."

2. A lot of women don’t play provider games if they know the guy “gets it”. Bringing up all of my past sexual experiences _really_ pushes providing out of the conversation. Looks + style can help I know but talking about SEX directly is the best move I think. Especially if you can honestly describe how great those experiences were. This pushes the convo along WITHOUT investment - you are relating past things that happened to you without hiding, that is almost 0 investment imo.

Great thoughts here.

3. Most girls even in their 30s have nothing to offer outside looks and I’m sure even the experienced guys agree a 9/10 that is not needy - social circle money - is a hell of a lot more attractive than a 10/10 who is all looks. It seems like 99% of women are very money needy for some reason. I just don’t understand it when all the male money games are legally required to accept women and the women only money games - Female Twitch streamer - cannot take men at all. There are no men’s studies departments where you can only hire male employees why are women so broke? They could at least be average.

This is why I screen for girls with a.) good jobs and b.) master's degrees.

If she's already employed as a banker/accountant/architect/etc., I know she knows the value of money and can also take care of herself.

Further these chicks tend to be the ones you can actually have a halfway decent conversation with.

There aren't a lot of women you can talk about Bretton Woods and the petrodollar with, but if she's an economist or a finance gal you can.

4. Finding the right male friends is the most important thing I think more important than most of the things you do yourself.
5. Fitness matters a ton since you are no longer looks disqualified and can get approached rather than do the approaching. I would tell people to care a lot about this.

Both excellent and important things.

Neat thread.

Chase

 

[Rain]

Anything in the arts is good: "I'm a writer", "I paint", "I sculpt", etc.

It gives women an understandable reason why you don't have a boss or a conventional schedule yet don't have to live at home and aren't on the street.

There's another problem with "I came into money" in that it doesn't feel replicable to people and often triggers a weird/unique sort of envy. e.g., "Someone just dropped that bag in your lap? Well what happens if you lost it all? You'd just be broke? And if someone just dropped a bag in your lap, you should be generous and pass it along, drop some bags in others' laps. Like mine, for instance!"

Any others off the top of your head besides 'writer/paint/sculpt'?
Crypto trader? Forex trader? They're kinda not as edgy as art etc though, so guessing that would not work as well, if at all?
Also, do you only say 'writer/paint/sculpt' if you actually do that?

Another alternative is opening up a place of your own: café, nightclub, hostel, art gallery, etc. Place doesn't even necessarily have to make a lot of money, so long as it isn't burning a hole in your pocket and puts you in contact with the sorts of women you want and gives you a thing women can use to understand you: "Oh, I see. He's an art gallery owner. That's nice!"

Owning something also gives you an opportunity to show off some wealth, without a clear indication of how much wealth. Which generally will make it easier for you to meet successful women, who will tend to recognize, "Okay, this guy owns this place I like frequenting, and the place is quite nice. So he must be somewhere around my league, perhaps." Especially with posher places like an art gallery or a nice nightclub or lounge.

It also gives you an interesting, unusual, yet clear identity ('art gallery owner'), which makes it much easier for women to form a picture of you in their minds. "Oh, I don't know any art gallery owners. I see all these different traits and quirks and qualities he has. That must be how art gallery owners are."

If you own a cafe she may ask "how did you get the money to buy a cafe?" "came into a bag of cash" like you wrote above is then the honest answer? Maybe it doesn't get asked that often but it might if it turns into something more than a ONS.

Also, if you owned a cafe or art gallery etc, but never worked in one, wouldn't that be something else that would come up in conversation:
Her: 'What made you want to own a cafe, did you used to work in one?"
You: 'Nah never worked in one.'
You: 'Nah I don't own any art and I don't paint, I'd rather watch tv." !
Wouldn't that be incongruent? Wouldn't alot of people own a cafe/art place because they worked there and worked their way up maybe to supervisor and/or took out a loan to pay for their own cafe/gallery/lounge for example? Or because they like cafes/art as their passion as opposed to doing it to fit inside a social box?

The other thing, if you own a cafe like this, without having worked in one/worked your way up, then you're the 'owner' but do you have any real power/dominance? I mean, you paid money for it, as opposed to managing it day to day yourself in the context of the OP, so no he would hire a manage to manage it and therefore would not have the experience to tell an employee or supervisor no thats wrong to steal this or store this like that and correct their erros/manage them.

5. Fitness matters a ton since you are no longer looks disqualified and can get approached rather than do the approaching. I would tell people to care a lot about this

Both excellent and important things.

I don't understand what the OP meant with this "Fitness matters a ton since you are no longer looks disqualified"

 

[Chase]

@Rain,

Any others off the top of your head besides 'writer/paint/sculpt'?
Crypto trader? Forex trader? They're kinda not as edgy as art etc though, so guessing that would not work as well, if at all?
Also, do you only say 'writer/paint/sculpt' if you actually do that?

Arts are good because they're romantic. Creativity, passion, etc.

'Trader' (of any kind) is not romantic. It's just a job. It also sounds kind of technical, and in women's minds technical = nerd = uncool.

If you can upgrade that to "I used to be on Wall Street", then you're hitting a different attraction trigger (status). Which is also useful.

Anytime you're thinking about anything used to build an identity for yourself, the first thought needs to be on what the primary framing of this thing is, and whether that frame is attractive or not attractive.

It's not just for attracting women, either. Men on average are also fascinated with the same kinds of professions women are fascinated with, and bored by the same professions women are, unless those men are specifically interested in a profession.

Most guys are going to be more intimidated by the successful painter (creativity) or the successful Wall Street guy (status) they meet at a party than they are the successful middle manager at a Fortune 500 company, even if that latter guy makes the same amount of money, due to the former guys having attraction signals in their careers/identities and the latter guy not.

If you own a cafe she may ask "how did you get the money to buy a cafe?" "came into a bag of cash" like you wrote above is then the honest answer? Maybe it doesn't get asked that often but it might if it turns into something more than a ONS.

Unless @BallSoHard was literally walking down the street and found a bag of cash there is probably some narrative he can tell about how he had to work or sweat or be in exactly the right place at exactly the right time or, alternately, that he has been blessed by the gods with extraordinary good luck, and that is how he came into money.

It's generally unwise to act like you "just happen to have" possessions, because it makes you unrelatable.

And as soon as you're unrelatable, people start feeling like you don't deserve what you have, and that what you have should actually be something they have.

Also, if you owned a cafe or art gallery etc, but never worked in one, wouldn't that be something else that would come up in conversation:
Her: 'What made you want to own a cafe, did you used to work in one?"
You: 'Nah never worked in one.'
You: 'Nah I don't own any art and I don't paint, I'd rather watch tv." !
Wouldn't that be incongruent? Wouldn't alot of people own a cafe/art place because they worked there and worked their way up maybe to supervisor and/or took out a loan to pay for their own cafe/gallery/lounge for example? Or because they like cafes/art as their passion as opposed to doing it to fit inside a social box?

I'm not sure I understand your thinking with these questions...

Many (maybe most) of the people I know who own cafés or bars never worked in one before owning it.

Of the people I know who want to own cafés or bars someday, but don't own one yet, none have ever worked in one.

Most people wouldn't approach the owner of an NBA team and ask him, "So what made you want to own an NBA team? Did you used to play in the NBA?" Or approach someone who owns an apartment complex and ask him, "So why'd you buy this apartment complex? Did you use to work for an apartment complex?"

People buy stuff all the time for lifestyle or cash flow reasons.

That said, I doubt someone with no creative streak who spends his time watching TV would own a gallery... or, I dare say, have the finances to own a gallery...

The other thing, if you own a cafe like this, without having worked in one/worked your way up, then you're the 'owner' but do you have any real power/dominance? I mean, you paid money for it, as opposed to managing it day to day yourself in the context of the OP, so no he would hire a manage to manage it and therefore would not have the experience to tell an employee or supervisor no thats wrong to steal this or store this like that and correct their erros/manage them.

Does the civilian Commander-in-Chief of a military actually have any real power/dominance over that military? Or does the military just do whatever it wants and ignore the CiC?

Does the former banker who owns an NBA team have any real power/dominance over that NBA team? Or does the team just ignore him and do things how it wants?

You seem to have a "work your way up" mentality toward things.

There are some people who work their ways up to leadership/ownership of things.

There are a lot more people who leverage wealth to purchase things they want, even without having worked their ways up.

I'd think you know this, being into trading... I'm sure you're familiar with Gamestop. How'd the current CEO of Gamestop get that role? He didn't work his way up as a Gamestop employee. He used money he made in another venture and bought a large stake in Gamestop, then had himself appointed CEO.

Nobody in Gamestop is running around going, "Revolt! He has no power here! He hath not risen from the Gamestop ranks!"

I don't understand what the OP meant with this "Fitness matters a ton since you are no longer looks disqualified"

Believe he's saying get fit so women do not automatically disqualify you for your fat face, double chin, and unseemly belly.

i.e., reduce the number of things women can disqualify you over, to increase the odds you succeed with them.

Chase

 

[Rain]

Arts are good because they're romantic. Creativity, passion, etc.

The OP hasn't mentioned if they've done any painting or sculpting etc. Should they say they do, even if they don't? For their identity? ie lie or "flirt" as you said in another thread recently.

'Trader' (of any kind) is not romantic. It's just a job. It also sounds kind of technical, and in women's minds technical = nerd = uncool.

If you can upgrade that to "I used to be on Wall Street", then you're hitting a different attraction trigger (status). Which is also useful.

Anytime you're thinking about anything used to build an identity for yourself, the first thought needs to be on what the primary framing of this thing is, and whether that frame is attractive or not attractive.

I think West Indian Archie wrote something about accounting and how that would not be good identity for women attraction level, but can't find that post so don't quote me on that one!
But anyway, I'm doing it from home, not on any wall street. Is there any other alternative then saying "I used to be on wall street" or would I be better to make some money and do something along the cafe idea you already mentioned?

With the power/dominance, that was about if someone basically owns a cafe, or as you suggested an NBA team, yet they just own it, they're not the coach ,they're not the cafe manager, they just own it to make money and might not have the experience/clout to use that power?
Also, if they choose to let someone manage the day to day running.... can they maintain that power without being involved every day? I'm guessing yes.

The people you know that never worked in a cafe, but want to own one. Have any of them mentioned why they want to own a cafe?

 

[Chase]

@Rain,

I wouldn't lie about doing something I've never done, no.

If you have no arts and no passions and no status from work, and the only thing you do is sit at a screen and move money around, then the answer to "What do you do?" should be something like, "Oh my work is really boring, I just sit in front of a screen and move stuff around, it's not really important."

The owner is going to screw things up if he tries to micromanage too much, unless he has direct experience in the thing. But it is owners who hire the people who work there, owners who promote them, retain them, or fire them; owners are involved in or directly make all the high level decisions, such as the positioning of the café or whether to relocate the NBA team to City X; you are never going to have more clout than the owner in something he owns. You cannot usurp control of a café owned by someone else. He can fire you, and if you won't leave the premises (because, after all, you're usurping), he can call the police and have them remove you for trespassing.

The people you know that never worked in a cafe, but want to own one. Have any of them mentioned why they want to own a cafe?

The response is always "I think it'd be cool" or "because I like cafés."

Chase