Online dating as "training wheels"?

[PinotNoir]

Hey guys, just a quick question.

So, I've been approaching as much as I can (about 2 times per week), but my time is so limited these days, and I haven't been getting as many numbers/dates and getting dates converted to lays as easily as I want.

After reading Chase's recent and excellent article on Asymmetric Returns, I know that it's just part of the game. Betting on a lot of little "losses" vs betting on one big "win."

However, due to time, I'm wondering if I should try online dating as "training wheels."

What do you guys think?

Do you think that online dating will ruin my "training" (as I see it)? Will it hurt or help me?

I don't want to undo what I've been working at and learning, if you understand, but I also don't enjoy "dry spells" (what guy does?).

Do you view online dating as a "crutch" or as "training wheels"?

Thanks,
PN

 

[Whizzy]

Hey PinotNoir!

Honestly I've tried online dating before and if you're strapped for time I wouldn't recommend it. Online dating actually takes more time than just walking up to a girl and saying "hi". Also as has been noted several times, the girls who tend to go for online dating tend to not be the cream of the crop. I started off with online dating myself and personally wish I had started with cold approach instead

 

[DesiBro]

Training wheels are supposed to make riding a bike easier. Online dating doesn't make pick-up easier, so it's not a good training wheels.

 

[Light]

Online Dating is a different kind of game.

You should definitely try it, and practice on it as well. But just remember it is a different game vs pick up. They are not the same.

The only skill you can carry forward is "Deep Diving" and "Investment", but converted into text conversation.

 

[PinotNoir]

Thanks guys! I'll think about it. I just wanted to hear opinions before I decide (and blow $$ on it).

 

[Doctor]

Maybe try something like Tinder? It seems the big attraction there is that it's quick and easy, although still likely a lot more hassle than cold approach. Plus it's kind of socially acceptable at the moment so you might get more hot girls on there. Might be worth a shot.

 

[Whizzy]

I have noticed that as well. Tinder seems to have overall significantly hotter girls in my area than traditional dating sites

 

[Nuncle]

Very useful for testing out things like:

Commanding
Being sexual
Barrelling through stuff like "I only want a serious man who wants to settle down"
Teasing
Investment

and so on, especially via IM chat.

Also, if you put up a great photo (yours or someone else's!) the amount of women throwing themselves at you gives a good insight into what it is like for a girl who is inundated with offers all the time.

 

[NarrowJ]

I haven't had an active online profile in about 8-10 months or so, but I'd reiterate what most of the guys have already said about the quality of the women you'll meet.

Sites like match.com will have higher quality women (this is just in my experience, which is fairly limited). Also with pay sites like that, you'll find although the women are of higher quality, 95 percent of them are looking strictly for something long-term. They wouldn't pay for a site to find a guy for a quick hookup, when they can just go out to the bar any given Friday or Saturday night and have plenty of guys to choose from for that.

If you want to meet some slutty chicks and get your dick wet, then by all means try the free sites like POF and OKC. I also hear Tinder is good for that, but I haven't ever used it. The free sites have quite a lot of unattractive women, so make sure to set your search parameters so that you're not looking at the thousands of women on there with chunky body types.

Also, as mentioned, it takes a ton of time to write messages only to get maybe half of them or less to even respond to your initial message. The best way I found to use it was to create a really good profile, don't message anyone, and just login periodically to keep yourself near the top of the search results. When a woman messages you first, it's usually on from there, because they don't usually do that unless they are REALLY intrigued by your profile. Also, I used to go through and view girls profiles but NOT send them a message. Then a day later I'd get a message from them asking why I viewed them and didn't message, and if it's because I didn't like what I saw. That's another good one that starts you out ahead of them.

All in all, I don't think it's necessarily bad if you need experience with going on dates and practicing the tactics and techniques that we use after the approach. Just make sure you're still doing approaches too though.

NJ

 

[Thinkingenigma]

I'm with Light. Online game should not be your first foray into the dating scene. Day game is where it's at for learning the most transferable skills. Online game uses a subset of game skills, but if you aren't good at building comfort IRL, you aren't going to get anywhere.

If you do want to give online dating a try, one thing that I've been doing recently that I've gotten good results with is to use the "locals" feature on the OKC app, and just spend a minute or two just constantly swiping to the right. Do this once a day, and you'll rack up a ton of matches very quickly. That gets you a ton more exposure on the site. From there, just message anyone who visits your profile or matches with you. I've gotten about a 90% reply rate and I've managed to set up dates with 50% of the girls that I've messaged (6 since I started this a week ago. Will update with lay results once I actually go on the dates). It functions as a kind of preselection so you don't have to spend too much time on it. I've spent a grand total of about an hour or so doing this in the last week. That said, this probably works better in a big city. I'm in LA, so I don't know how well this would work in a smaller town with fewer girls.