Online Dating: How do you guys deal with matches not replying

[empath]

I keep waiting for matches to reply these girls reply once in a day or two days. Idk if thats the frequency with which these grils use the app.

If feels kinda bad and now I dont want to text to girls I have after Matched.

Like even at this moment I have 13-15 matches but they have not responded to my texts.

How to wheather they have deliberately ignored my texts or they are genuinely busy.

Also, how to deal with the frustration when someone does not reply.

Also, is there a way screen for matches that will be the waste of the time?

 

[Dimension]

Navigating online dating, particularly on platforms like Tinder, has become increasingly challenging.
It's greatly influenced by various factors such as the individual's mood, their receptiveness to conversation, and the impression conveyed by their profile.
Crafting a well-developed Tinder profile is essential in making a positive impact. Equally important is the ability to engage with potential matches using original and unique opening lines. Given the abundance of repetitive messages, it's imperative to stand out and avoid contributing to the monotony that many women encounter on the platform.

I have also sent you prive message, make sure to check it out!

 

[empath]

If I am getting matches this means my profile is good, right?

I am having problem after the matches.

 

[POB]

-apps are a sausage fest
-one of the girls I hooked up recently (not the hottest one) had 3k+ guys waiting in line for her
(she said she just didn't have the time to reply to all of them)

Solution? Get out the apps and approach IRL, use apps only as supplemental

 

[Police dog]

I am not an expert on dating apps with very limited experience myself but here are a couple moments:
1) everything POB said in the reply above
2) many girls have a memory span of a goldfish, that's why people advice to FaceTime asap

a good side note is that 90% of mens profiles on dating apps are a complete trash, if I was a girl I would never swipe on the either. E.g: - whole profile is 3 selfies in a car, photos with guns/fish/weed, only group photos where it's impossible to tell who is the owner of the profile, old men lying about their age, some stupid shit like memes, photos of your bookshelf, your old car, etc.

And let's be honest dating apps are 100% about looks and you can only leverage it so much with good angles and some editing. Most men there as well as in the real world are overweight if not straight up obese, short (should have said "not tall" - why swipe on 5'9 when there are tons of 6'0+) - which might be somewhat of an obstacle IRL but straight up dead end on the apps, dress terribly, and just not really handsome - you don't have to be a model looking but even for cold approach, it plays a significant factor, let alone online...

 

[Police dog]

Also, how to deal with the frustration when someone does not reply.

you will get used to it, on dating apps it's nothing, much more hurtful in cold approaches or being ghosted after 3 rounds of interviews for a certain company

 

[Police dog]

If I am getting matches this means my profile is good, right?

I am having problem after the matches.

depends on quality of those matches though, almost everyone can get whales and elephants, bots, fakes and hookers en masse

 

[rockstar]

This is normal. The vast majority of girls you match with will stop replying before you can get them out. That's just how apps are. You should expect something like 1 date out of 20 matches if your textgame is decent and you are following up with all girls (though really dependent on location, app, profile, etc).

You're frustrated because you expect them to reply. You should realize that most will stop at some point even with great texting. That's just how the world is.

You can screen for compliance though. For example, only responding to girls who message you first. Or deliberately sending message that are harder for girls to respond to. Or immediately ask for number/ig/snap. This will weed out less interested girls and save you texting time (but will also weed out some good leads)

 

[empath]

depends on quality of those matches though, almost everyone can get whales and elephants, bots, fakes and hookers en masse

Well some are fatties I will admit. But a lot are hotties whom I will avoid o a cold approach coz they look so hot. So, yeah quality is there.

I have tried making an account earlier as well but never got these kind of matches both quantity and quality.

So either number of girls has increased on these app or my profile is good.

I will go for later.

 

[empath]

I get it, so consensus is get used to getting ghosted.

But I have seen a guy getting laid from that app a lot. And fyi he is obese but i guess he has good game... Natural mostly.

So I think i am doing something wrong and there has to be a way.

 

[Bill]

create a more unique opener and in your bio give a suggestion to invest like ask their favorite restaurant

 

[empath]

Yes I try to read their bio and say unique opener whenever possible.

If not replying to messages while on the app its mostly because they are busy.

Because if they are annoyed by me they will unmatch me.

Now my process is simple now.

Try to banter over text.

Ask whether they like ice cream (everyone does) ask they lets grab.

If they agree give them my number and ask to text/call me.

If they don't agree.

Banter more say I like calls more then text and give number and ask them to call me.

Lastly, if they don't call at this step wait for their message.

If they message then banter more its comfort issue. Once its build suggest a meet up if they dodge it. Say cool lets hope someone else does not grab me.

And leave things at that.

Can there ve any improvement over this process?

 

[Atlas IV]

I get it, so consensus is get used to getting ghosted.

But I have seen a guy getting laid from that app a lot. And fyi he is obese but i guess he has good game... Natural mostly.

So I think i am doing something wrong and there has to be a way.

If he is obese, he is likely scraping the bottom of the Tinder barrel. Not exactly what I would call a "natural".

Honestly, your best bet is to get off Tinder and focus on cold approach. Like POB said, online dating is a sausage fest in 2024. Once you get your fundamentals down, you'll be getting such results that you'll wonder why you ever wasted your time with the apps.

 

[empath]

His dressing sense was good and he was good at conversations also over all a chill guy. I have seen the girls they not bottom barrels if not exactly a 10.

Mostly these girls are busy (best belief to have) and I get it still some girls will ghost me. Also, effort is on getting number and seducing them over the phone call now.

I want few easy lays so I have confidence in my sexual ability. So, when I chat up a girl over cold approach I know I am offering her a good sexual value.

Also, if I get dates this way I can work on my endgame first. I don't have time to got out 4-5 times every week right now but don't want to throw away girls from my life.

 

[POB]

Wanna be good in apps?

First step: Spend some time getting pro looking pics.
They'll do 80% of the work for you pre-date.

Second step is: honing text gaming skills to get them in front of you.
Read Hector's book and search the forum for texting game posts.
(Skills did a guide...I have some threads where I discuss it too...my signature links to my blog where I posted some stuff too...but warning, some may be outdated).

Third step is picking a dating model and sticking to it untill you get good.
Again, search the forum.

Once that whole system is up and running properly, you'll have kinda of a funnel with a pipeline of chicks to choose from.
Most guys give up before it, because it takes TIME to build it right....time you could be using to approach IRL and maybe getting SDL or SNLs.

No right or wrong path here, just my 2 cents.

 

[raiden]

Set a timer. Spend 20 minutes per day replying to your messages and sending out feelers. When you're on the clock you won't worry about non responses. It'll be time up once you've messaged all of those who are responding.

I have poor fundamentals and can't run a good date to save my life (see my field reports). But I have been able to optimize to the extent that I get the privilege of getting to the date before I screw up. You should be able to do so too. But don't rely only on these apps or you could end up like me...

 

[Skills]

I keep waiting for matches to reply these girls reply once in a day or two days. Idk if thats the frequency with which these grils use the app.

If feels kinda bad and now I dont want to text to girls I have after Matched.

Like even at this moment I have 13-15 matches but they have not responded to my texts.

How to wheather they have deliberately ignored my texts or they are genuinely busy.

Also, how to deal with the frustration when someone does not reply.

Also, is there a way screen for matches that will be the waste of the time?

Best time to reply to matches is when you just match otherwise this trend to happen due to the sea of matches they get don't take it personally

 

[dsky]

I keep waiting for matches to reply these girls reply once in a day or two days. Idk if thats the frequency with which these grils use the app.

If feels kinda bad and now I dont want to text to girls I have after Matched.

Like even at this moment I have 13-15 matches but they have not responded to my texts.

How to wheather they have deliberately ignored my texts or they are genuinely busy.

Also, how to deal with the frustration when someone does not reply.

Also, is there a way screen for matches that will be the waste of the time?

Great job if you sent them a text immedietly upon seeing their picture and being matched. If they didn't respond (in a day or two) they weren't interested or your text was too normal and not interesting enough. I assume the pictures you posted you're having fun doing something exciting or nice portrait shots, not dick pics. Women don't like dick pics, not the kind that won't give you a disease.
It depends on what kind of girl / woman you texted. Hooks up for casual sex - it won't matter what you text. If she likes your picture you'll get a response. If it's a woman who's got her shit together and not looking for casual sex, up your text game to make sure they understand the kind of man you are - interesting, going places, fun, adventurous (don't mention sex). Make them understand you have a busy and exciting life, you are picky about who you chose to bring into it (could be them if they are of high enough standard). Be honest and authentic. Consider what you do that's so exciting in your life that you can ask them out for an instant date to come along. (the sex afterwards in an unsaid given). Be a fun guy and that will click. Send interesting text messages. Update your pics. If there's still no response there is nothing you can do. Move on. don't take it personally. Women get so many texts a day they have no time to respond. You're playing the lottery, rolling the dice that the moment you text: a) they are single and available; b) yours is the first text they see when they open the app; c) they like your pic; d) they like your bio (you're an interesting guy; e) you send them an interesting text.

 

[Beck Bass]

Apps are mostly pure luck of matching with a hottie on a time she can actually text and getting her out asap.
Most guys diddle daddle too much and lose the girl, like dude, if you matched, attraction is there (unless she swiped right by accident lol).

Also only swipe right if you really wanna bone the girl. Lots of guys swipe right on meh girls, then match, and are not that excited to text the girl, and the girl can kinda feel it on the messages already. Being a girl, what is she gonna do? Autoreject. Just ignore your text, or send a even worse, lesser effort message to you, if she's bored and got nothing else going on atm.

Your openers might need some tweeking, try to send the minimum amount of text you can but still show some personality. I generally would just compliment a girl on some photo of her, hinting on sexual, but still being classy, like heeey hottie but actually kinda unique. Showing you get her, like you're part of her clique, is important. And ask her out asap, like work out basically logistics and suggest a date.

And if no girls are putting any effort on replying to you at all, maybe you need to work on your pics as well, like you gotta stand out my dude, they have hundreds of fools texting them at a time. But it's mostly down to luck, bad pictures are bad pictures, but girls have a big variety of men they might find attractive.

Read Hector's book

Hell yeah, I read that and my Tinder game was on point from that on!
Texting is a hard skill and Hector made a really good job putting it on that book. Even if reading the book felt a bit alien, after I was done I had a whole other understanding of texting (girls). And it's interesting because when you think about it it's really obvious stuff that makes sense, but we never stop to think about it when we text, we just fixate on silly stuff

 

[Adventurer]

+1 to read Hector's book, it's amazing

My opener of choice is:

Hey <name>
(Next message)
How are you doing today ?

It does a lot of things at once :
-Proves you know proper grammar and punctuation (VERY important on apps, most educated girls use this as a screening tool)
-Low effort, not tryhard (99% of clever openers just don't work in my experience)
-Personnalised (there's her name in it)
-Call to action, she has to answer today. This is also very important so your message doesn't get drowned

After that, I use canned banter to get her contact asap.

With this method, I almost never get ghosted anymore, at least not in the opener. There's still a chance she doesn't like the banter line, or matches with Chad McBigdick in the meantime and meets him instead. It's not a big deal if you get a lot of matches, you just need a good process and play the number game

Also the reaction of girls to your opener is directly linked to the quality of your pictures. For this, I use IA, it's honestly a cheat code. The pics still look like you but put you in a much better light