- Joined
- May 12, 2016
- Messages
- 231
What up gents, I'm gonna be writing my lay reports one by one here.
So the other night, I was out with some friends. It was about 5 of us out on a beautiful Tuesday night. We're all chatting and having a good time. Bar was pretty empty; however, there was a two pretty thangs on the other side of the room.
My friend taps me on the shoulder.
Friend: yo, those two girls are pretty cute. I'm gonna go in, can you wing me in a bit?
Me: Of course man, go do yo thang.
He approaches them.
From distance I see that he's not doing too well and he's struggling a bit as I see the closed body language from the two girls.
I'm not sure what it was, but he needed someone else with a bit more energy.
Trusting my gut I came in to the group with a lot of excitement.
Me: HEYY! Happy Tuesday
It's my friends birthday!
Girls: REALLY?!
Him: It iS?
Me: Nope. I just felt like celebrating.
Girls: Omg hahaha!
From here I turn my attention to the left one while my wing talk to the right one. Mines pretty neutral with me but in the corner of my eyes, I see my wing's conversation dying out with his girl. Bad sign.
Soon, he taps me on the shoulder and whispers in my ear.
Wing: Yo, my girls not feelings me and if I stay I feel like I'm gonna kill the set. I'm gonna leave.
Me: Alright man, no worries.
So here I'm stuck with two girls and keeping both of their attention for now.
Me: Alright let me guess how you two know each other.
Both girls: Okay!
Me: I get three chances. We're gonna make a bet.
Girls: What's the bet?
Me: If I lose I'll leave both of you and never talk to you again.
Girls: What?! but if you win?
Me: If I win, I'm gonna bring my other sexy friend over here. And you two are gonna buy us drinks.
Girls: You're quite a risk taker.
Me: Not if I know I'm gonna win.
Girls: Okay mr.cocky, shoot.
(Basically, I guess correct and I bring my friend over). Who's REALLY good with women as he fucked over 450+ women by that point.
About 5 minutes in we're in our separate conversations. And while I'm talking to my girl (about 5 minutes in), we both happened to turn to talk to our other friends and surprise surprise, my wing is already making out with the girl.
For a brief moment me and my girl kind of stares in disbelief not knowing what to do.
Me: Your friend really likes my friend.
Her: (Giggles)
Me: Let's leave them alone and get some fresh air.
Her: Okay.
I lead her outside to just have a normal conversation at the patio.
Me: So how many guys have you dated?
Her: What? What kind of question is that?
Me: I find you intriguing.
Her: Idk, but I did recently get out of a relationship.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that.
(Out of nowhere she throws a curve ball)
Her: Yeah, he was way taller and muscular than you. And he had six packs, do you have six packs?
Me: All i have in this world is my balls and my word.
Her: Clever. (Grins)
Me: Are you working tmrow?
Her: No I'm off all day tomorrow.
Me: Oh cool, I'm getting hungry we should grab some food somewhere.
Her: Sure.
This is where the second curve ball comes out.
My friend apparently left her unexpectedly.
Now here comes my girl's friend. She comes out and says "Where's your friend?! He just left me!!"
Right here, I decide to let them two talk it out and go back to my friends for a bit.
Me: Hmm, let me go check. You guys just chill here and talk to each other.
I go to my group of friends to find out MY FRIEND apparently had to DITCH her cause his OTHER girl showed up UNEXPECTEDLY. He basically had to hide his ass from being seen with another girl. (He was kind of in a serious relationship with her)
So NOW I'm stuck with my girl who clearly likes me but this other girl is now gonna be a problem.
I go back to the two girls and convince them to get food with me. I tell my girl's friend that I'll have my friend comeback to where we're eating, and let's just keep it moving for now. (He wasn't coming and she really fucking liked him)
So here I call up one of my buddies, who's horrible with women, but very fun to be around.
I call him up
Me: Yo!
Friend: WHATTUP
Me: Come down stairs right now, I need a wing
Friend: Serious? Alright I'm coming.
My friend comes down and I introduce him to my girl's friend as Jake.
Jake: Hi nice to meet you
Her friend: Doesn't even look up. Where's your other friend?!
Me: He's coming! Don't worry bout it geez.
Me: Alright let's go get some IHOP or something, I'm gonna call an Uber.
My girl: Why are we taking Uber? There's an Ihop right there across the street?
Me: that ihop is nasty as fuck. it's really horrible. I know one with the best customer service and really clean. It's only like 5 mins drive.
(It was near my place. That was the only reason why)
We get in the Uber and go to ihop.
Here my girl sits next to me, and her friend and my friend sits across from us.
At this point we're already cuddling and hugging each other.
I was little drunk and she was checking up on me.
Her: Are you okay? You want some water?
Me: I"m fine, I just drank a little more than what I usually drink.
Her: haha aw! Here eat some fries
(While this is going on, I have my hand on her hip and kind of rubbing the sides of her leg)
As I'm talking to my friend, she's having a conversation with her friend.
Me: Let me get another fry.
Her: Okay. And gives me another fry.
(While she's doing this, I slide my hand down to her butt and grab it)
Her: Hey!
Me: You have a nice ass (I whisper it to her ear)
Her: (Feeds me fries)
I excuse myself real quick to make a phone call to set up my logistics.
(While I'm gone, my friend tells me later in the night that my girl was talking to my girl about logistics as well. He told me my girl was telling her friend that she really liked me and wanted to see where the night goes.)
When I comeback, my friend paid the food and they had decided that they were going to leave us two alone.
(How convenient)
Me: Okay let's get out of here.
Her: Okay, where we going?
Me: Mm I'm not sure, I want coffee tho.
Her: This late?! It's 2AM.
Me: I know. Let's start walking.
(Basically I take her up to my house)
Her: This is a nice place.
Me: Thanks, I wanna show you something
(I take her to the balcony where you get the full view of the city)
Her: Wow!
Me: Cool huh?
(We start having small talk about ourselves, what we do for work, etc etc., I tell her I used to be in the military but now I own my own business and go to college part time)
Time to lead to the bedroom.
Me: Hey, let me show you some pictures on my computer.
Her: Okay, you wanna bring it out to the living room? (lol)
Me: Quit being silly, I'm not trying to waste electric bills. Come on.
Her: Fine.
This is where a barrage of shit tests start coming in.
She's sitting on my bed and just examines the room. And I have my stuff all over the chair that was in the room.
Her: Your room is dirty. No woman likes it when a man's room is dirty.
Me: So go clean it.
Her: No! I'm not gonna clean it.
Me: (Laughs) Come here, hold on let me turn off the lights before I show it to you.
Her: No! I need to text my friend to come pick me up. I'm only gonna stay for 10 more minutes.
Me: (Yeah right) okay but here! look at my picture.
(10 minutes of conversations about where I traveled to and reach a high point)
Me: Do you want something more comfortable to wear? I have basketball shorts.
Her: Yes please. (She goes to change into basketball shorts)
Me: What's your favorite song?
Her: Mmmm.. (she picks some random song I never heard before)
Me: Come here.
Her: Hm?
Here I start kissing her lightly, and she has no resistance for kissing.
We start making out and I turn off the lights.
Her: Okay you turned off the lights, it's time to sleep!
(She faces the other way and acts like I'm going to sleep)
Me: Okay. I start nibbling her ear and put my hand between her legs outside of shorts to rub right outside of her vagina.
Her: Stop! (Moans) I just want to sleep.
Me: I back off, try again.
Her: Can we just go to sleep please?
I think I was persistent for about 10 minutes, but didn't have the patience as I was a bit drunk too.
Me: Okay. Get out.
Her: What? Why?!
Me: It's obvious you wanna play some stupid ass game, and now I just want to sleep. And I can't sleep next to a girl I just don't want to be around.
Her: Nooo! I'm sorry.
Me: Okay fine, just go to sleep. But leave early tmorow morning. And I turn my back to her.
Her: Waittt! Don't turn your back!
(From here after a few minutes, I start kissing her again and put my hand outside of her underwear)
She starts moaning and panting and I start fingering her with two fingers and she starts going crazy.
Her: Andersen.. fuck..
Me: I slowly take her shorts off while kissing/fingering her.
Her: omg.. I'm gonna cum.
Me: (Here I stop fingering her)
Her: Fuck.. please fuck me.
And basically, I put my condom on and we start going at it for another hour.
After I'm done, we go to sleep and wake up to have one more session before I order her an Uber home.
I get the following text.
Her: Hey, I just got home. Thanks for the Uber ride
Me: Hey, I'm glad you got home safe. Text you soon!
Her: Good night~
So the other night, I was out with some friends. It was about 5 of us out on a beautiful Tuesday night. We're all chatting and having a good time. Bar was pretty empty; however, there was a two pretty thangs on the other side of the room.
My friend taps me on the shoulder.
Friend: yo, those two girls are pretty cute. I'm gonna go in, can you wing me in a bit?
Me: Of course man, go do yo thang.
He approaches them.
From distance I see that he's not doing too well and he's struggling a bit as I see the closed body language from the two girls.
I'm not sure what it was, but he needed someone else with a bit more energy.
Trusting my gut I came in to the group with a lot of excitement.
Me: HEYY! Happy Tuesday
It's my friends birthday!Girls: REALLY?!
Him: It iS?
Me: Nope. I just felt like celebrating.
Girls: Omg hahaha!
From here I turn my attention to the left one while my wing talk to the right one. Mines pretty neutral with me but in the corner of my eyes, I see my wing's conversation dying out with his girl. Bad sign.
Soon, he taps me on the shoulder and whispers in my ear.
Wing: Yo, my girls not feelings me and if I stay I feel like I'm gonna kill the set. I'm gonna leave.
Me: Alright man, no worries.
So here I'm stuck with two girls and keeping both of their attention for now.
Me: Alright let me guess how you two know each other.
Both girls: Okay!
Me: I get three chances. We're gonna make a bet.
Girls: What's the bet?
Me: If I lose I'll leave both of you and never talk to you again.
Girls: What?! but if you win?
Me: If I win, I'm gonna bring my other sexy friend over here. And you two are gonna buy us drinks.
Girls: You're quite a risk taker.
Me: Not if I know I'm gonna win.
Girls: Okay mr.cocky, shoot.
(Basically, I guess correct and I bring my friend over). Who's REALLY good with women as he fucked over 450+ women by that point.
About 5 minutes in we're in our separate conversations. And while I'm talking to my girl (about 5 minutes in), we both happened to turn to talk to our other friends and surprise surprise, my wing is already making out with the girl.
For a brief moment me and my girl kind of stares in disbelief not knowing what to do.
Me: Your friend really likes my friend.
Her: (Giggles)
Me: Let's leave them alone and get some fresh air.
Her: Okay.
I lead her outside to just have a normal conversation at the patio.
Me: So how many guys have you dated?
Her: What? What kind of question is that?
Me: I find you intriguing.
Her: Idk, but I did recently get out of a relationship.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that.
(Out of nowhere she throws a curve ball)
Her: Yeah, he was way taller and muscular than you. And he had six packs, do you have six packs?
Me: All i have in this world is my balls and my word.
Her: Clever. (Grins)
Me: Are you working tmrow?
Her: No I'm off all day tomorrow.
Me: Oh cool, I'm getting hungry we should grab some food somewhere.
Her: Sure.
This is where the second curve ball comes out.
My friend apparently left her unexpectedly.
Now here comes my girl's friend. She comes out and says "Where's your friend?! He just left me!!"
Right here, I decide to let them two talk it out and go back to my friends for a bit.
Me: Hmm, let me go check. You guys just chill here and talk to each other.
I go to my group of friends to find out MY FRIEND apparently had to DITCH her cause his OTHER girl showed up UNEXPECTEDLY. He basically had to hide his ass from being seen with another girl. (He was kind of in a serious relationship with her)
So NOW I'm stuck with my girl who clearly likes me but this other girl is now gonna be a problem.
I go back to the two girls and convince them to get food with me. I tell my girl's friend that I'll have my friend comeback to where we're eating, and let's just keep it moving for now. (He wasn't coming and she really fucking liked him)
So here I call up one of my buddies, who's horrible with women, but very fun to be around.
I call him up
Me: Yo!
Friend: WHATTUP
Me: Come down stairs right now, I need a wing
Friend: Serious? Alright I'm coming.
My friend comes down and I introduce him to my girl's friend as Jake.
Jake: Hi nice to meet you
Her friend: Doesn't even look up. Where's your other friend?!
Me: He's coming! Don't worry bout it geez.
Me: Alright let's go get some IHOP or something, I'm gonna call an Uber.
My girl: Why are we taking Uber? There's an Ihop right there across the street?
Me: that ihop is nasty as fuck. it's really horrible. I know one with the best customer service and really clean. It's only like 5 mins drive.
(It was near my place. That was the only reason why)
We get in the Uber and go to ihop.
Here my girl sits next to me, and her friend and my friend sits across from us.
At this point we're already cuddling and hugging each other.
I was little drunk and she was checking up on me.
Her: Are you okay? You want some water?
Me: I"m fine, I just drank a little more than what I usually drink.
Her: haha aw! Here eat some fries
(While this is going on, I have my hand on her hip and kind of rubbing the sides of her leg)
As I'm talking to my friend, she's having a conversation with her friend.
Me: Let me get another fry.
Her: Okay. And gives me another fry.
(While she's doing this, I slide my hand down to her butt and grab it)
Her: Hey!
Me: You have a nice ass (I whisper it to her ear)
Her: (Feeds me fries)
I excuse myself real quick to make a phone call to set up my logistics.
(While I'm gone, my friend tells me later in the night that my girl was talking to my girl about logistics as well. He told me my girl was telling her friend that she really liked me and wanted to see where the night goes.)
When I comeback, my friend paid the food and they had decided that they were going to leave us two alone.
(How convenient)
Me: Okay let's get out of here.
Her: Okay, where we going?
Me: Mm I'm not sure, I want coffee tho.
Her: This late?! It's 2AM.
Me: I know. Let's start walking.
(Basically I take her up to my house)
Her: This is a nice place.
Me: Thanks, I wanna show you something
(I take her to the balcony where you get the full view of the city)
Her: Wow!
Me: Cool huh?
(We start having small talk about ourselves, what we do for work, etc etc., I tell her I used to be in the military but now I own my own business and go to college part time)
Time to lead to the bedroom.
Me: Hey, let me show you some pictures on my computer.
Her: Okay, you wanna bring it out to the living room? (lol)
Me: Quit being silly, I'm not trying to waste electric bills. Come on.
Her: Fine.
This is where a barrage of shit tests start coming in.
She's sitting on my bed and just examines the room. And I have my stuff all over the chair that was in the room.
Her: Your room is dirty. No woman likes it when a man's room is dirty.
Me: So go clean it.
Her: No! I'm not gonna clean it.
Me: (Laughs) Come here, hold on let me turn off the lights before I show it to you.
Her: No! I need to text my friend to come pick me up. I'm only gonna stay for 10 more minutes.
Me: (Yeah right) okay but here! look at my picture.
(10 minutes of conversations about where I traveled to and reach a high point)
Me: Do you want something more comfortable to wear? I have basketball shorts.
Her: Yes please. (She goes to change into basketball shorts)
Me: What's your favorite song?
Her: Mmmm.. (she picks some random song I never heard before)
Me: Come here.
Her: Hm?
Here I start kissing her lightly, and she has no resistance for kissing.
We start making out and I turn off the lights.
Her: Okay you turned off the lights, it's time to sleep!
(She faces the other way and acts like I'm going to sleep)
Me: Okay. I start nibbling her ear and put my hand between her legs outside of shorts to rub right outside of her vagina.
Her: Stop! (Moans) I just want to sleep.
Me: I back off, try again.
Her: Can we just go to sleep please?
I think I was persistent for about 10 minutes, but didn't have the patience as I was a bit drunk too.
Me: Okay. Get out.
Her: What? Why?!
Me: It's obvious you wanna play some stupid ass game, and now I just want to sleep. And I can't sleep next to a girl I just don't want to be around.
Her: Nooo! I'm sorry.
Me: Okay fine, just go to sleep. But leave early tmorow morning. And I turn my back to her.
Her: Waittt! Don't turn your back!
(From here after a few minutes, I start kissing her again and put my hand outside of her underwear)
She starts moaning and panting and I start fingering her with two fingers and she starts going crazy.
Her: Andersen.. fuck..
Me: I slowly take her shorts off while kissing/fingering her.
Her: omg.. I'm gonna cum.
Me: (Here I stop fingering her)
Her: Fuck.. please fuck me.
And basically, I put my condom on and we start going at it for another hour.
After I'm done, we go to sleep and wake up to have one more session before I order her an Uber home.
I get the following text.
Her: Hey, I just got home. Thanks for the Uber ride
Me: Hey, I'm glad you got home safe. Text you soon!
Her: Good night~
