Opener idea

[KJ Francis]

"Look."

Field tested by a one year old in a library... That's instinct.

Unrejectable compliance with lowest possible effort, leads to situational (in this case, about a book)

Could get her to look at you first (compliance 1), then point to shelf item or anything (stacked compliance). It feels best suited for urgency, like something of interest passing by that will be out of sight soon.

 

[KJ Francis]

And catch her eye a millisecond after she looks at you rather than already be looking at her

 

[ulrich]

And then?

You still have to set the frame of why you are talking to her (as opposed to someone else).

 

[KJ Francis]

Anything you can point at make her look at?

2 for 1 bananas. Want to go halfsies? Just kidding... I thought you were cute and wanted to meet you real quick.

***

There's a red one over there... Are you sure that's the right color for you?

***

Apples are in season! Did you ever visit an orchard as a kid? Take a look... Hand me one? Come with me... Open your mouth... Don't call the cops!

Pre-opener compliance stacking... She can't say no to "look".

 

[ulrich]

Good! You got it covered!

My concern was that some newbie saw this and though “just pointing out counts as an opener”…

God knows some guys are like that…

 

[KJ Francis]

I am a newbie lol thank you for reviewing.

 

[KJ Francis]

Lower effort alternative to point - head nod up with glance (to the point of interest) and eyebrows raised then lowered... like a "check it out..."

 

[Skills]

"hey" "Stop" and what you are saying "look" are not openers are attention grabbers pre opener....

 

[KJ Francis]

"hey" "Stop" and what you are saying "look" are not openers are attention grabbers pre opener....

Attention grabbers... I will search this term for more examples, thank you. This might help with early AA, to get some micro feedback that she may be receptive...

I like "stop" for the same 'command', reason, though stop could be rejected.

So like:

"Hey" (she looks)
Non verbal gesture/point (she looks)
"Apples are on sale... Hand me one?"

With more inserted before that last compliance in reality, but compared to:

"Look" (she Obeys)
Non verbal gesture/point (she looks)
"Apples are on sale... Hand me one?"

 

[KJ Francis]

Side note, this came from a female one year old opening a slightly older male. She had social butterfly momentum and was going around saying hi to kids after becoming bored with story time.

It made me wonder if female approaching tapers off with age due to negative reaction (I.e. guy does not grab the frame and take the lead from there), so she stops doing it. I had a friend say she said "nice peaches" to a guy in a store and he froze. Not her job to establish intent.

 

[ulrich]

It made me wonder if female approaching tapers off with age due to negative reaction (I.e. guy does not grab the frame and take the lead from there), so she stops doing it. I had a friend say she said "nice peaches" to a guy in a store and he froze. Not her job to establish intent.

One year old does not need to calibrate for social nor sexual frame.

She can ask for whatever, adults listen. That frame wears off as she grows into an adult.

 

[KJ Francis]

One year old does not need to calibrate for social nor sexual frame.

She can ask for whatever, adults listen. That frame wears off as she grows into an adult.

That makes sense... A "frame" is barely there... more like chaos

Another thought on "stop" attention grabber. Feels very dominant, maybe good paired with pro-social behavior (see Alek's recent article). So like "Stop. You're going to hurt yourself"... Slow down and smell the flowers lol

I need Tony D to slap me and say stop procrastinating. Go approach a fucking girl.