Opening situations and fast thinking

[TylerDurden]

Hi, I've been trying to get over my approach anxiety.

I worked on my fundamentals and I notice some nice looks as I pass by, but I can't capitalize on it.
For example, just as I was leaving a bar, I said "excuse me" to a girl so I could get through, and she said "go on" while giving me the most warm smiles and eyes she could probably give. And I didn't have the reflexes/reaction to make something,
ANYTHING would have been good, I know, but saying:
"excuse me"
"go on"(nice look)
"oh hello I'm X" seems incredibly awkward.

Should I think faster? have a backup plan? 5 minutes after that I thought I should have said something like "I was just leaving but if you keep looking me like that I think I'll stay a bit longer" or something on those lines (is that good?).
How can I get that thinking time from 5 minutes to "instant"?

I stumble upon a lot of these "do now or never" situations.
Should I just go direct? I have problems thinking a relevant direct like fast (something I genuinely like about her). "You are beautiful, I'm X" just won't cut it will it?

Also, If a girl passes walking by and gives me a nice look and keeps walking, how can I stop her?

Thanks for any advice

 

[Clout]

You hit it on the head to be honest:

ANYTHING would have been good

You don't have to be perfect to get results and if you wanted to be smooth a sexy smile with 'hi' as if you just noticed she is beautiful or a 'actually...I think I prefer it right...here' then introduce yourself. It is better to say/do anything than nothing, at least you have a chance.

 

[NarrowJ]

Never say "excuse me" when opening a girl, because it implies that you're inconveniencing her. A simple "hello" would do the trick. At least, this is advice Chase has given.

Good luck

 

[PrettyDecent]

Clout had a pretty clever comeback.

Also note that she's giving you a pretty clear signal, and it might be the time to take the interaction physically somewhere else immediately. I might have taken her hand and moved us over to a different part of the bar (it really could be anywhere, the point is she is investing more) to further the interaction. You could say something, I guess, but showing her with you're face "alright sweetheart, follow me" with a playful smile might have done it. Of course, easier said than done, especially in a random and unexpected situation where a girl is demanding compliance. Which is probably why it felt so weird in the first place...

 

[TylerDurden]

@Clout: Yes I guess I'll just have to face the risk of being awkard or non-smooth until I can get it. Also, clever remark for those situations

@NarrowJ: I was saying excuse me because I actually wanted her to move so I could get through (actually, I'm from argentina and it was "permiso" and "pasa" in spanish). Didn't even register her until I had her looking at me.

@prettydecent: Going phisical might have been a good idea. Thanks

 

[dvjackson]

General rule of social game, don't be afraid to say the first thing that pops into your head. Whenever you think of something to say and a voice in your head says "no, that'd be stupid"... ignore that voice.

In the long run you'll gain much more from being too open and forward than you will from being reserved and only say what you think is "correct". At the very least you'll have more stories to tell.