Thanks guys,
fwiw, some of them are actually quite cute.
I think I was just having a bit of an existential crisis this afternoon from my daygame frustrations.
I'll probably have another stupid question tomorrow
Cheers
To add to my reply in jest ..
If you literally aren't turned on at all by a woman, why would you go to bed with her? Nobody's paying you to do it, there are psychological effects, and there's always a nonzero risk of something going wrong. For me the experience of enjoying myself with an attractive woman is worth that (albeit tiny) risk, but certainly I will never put myself in the position of risking reproduction with a woman I find repulsive.
But the idea that a woman has to be perfect before you'll take her to bed is misguided - you'll miss out on all kinds of experiences. For me, if I'm just trying to get laid, she still has to be pleasant and reasonably attractive.
...
If you're having trouble going up to a woman and saying hi, you need to expand your concept of what it is you're after. It sounds like you've put too much ego into the outcome - it's great to be driven to go for hot girls but the reality is that when you need to learn, you need exposure. And also, to learn, one must be able to immerse oneself in the immediate experience - that of creating an enjoyable conversation and interaction out of nothing - and be able to be fully focused on it and satisfied with it.
But instead you are having anxiety, which is basically the fear of failure, partly because you have a lot of expectations of success. You must get used to failure, to processing failure properly. Evaluating your performance, learning lessons and accepting the outcome in the knowledge that it helps you get a better result next time. I have taught myself to enjoy failure - I get a rush from standing there after a bombed approach, knowing people have seen it and are probably expecting me to fall apart, but instead they see the beatific tranquility and inner satisfaction of someone that their reality, rushing forward to fill the space that I opened, cannot touch.
The art of seduction is a combination of things that you may not have considered - the art of connection, the art of curiosity, the art of contagious self-affirmation, and more. When a man finds himself unable to say hello, my first question is - which of these moved him in the first place? Probably none, or it would not have been easy to stop him at all. The ego gets in the way of all of these, either by placing demands or recrimination, depending on where he is at.
When I approach, I strive to lose my ego - I consign myself to fate in the knowledge that my desire is real and that it validates itself. Like the truth, it stands on its own feet and doesn't need to be propped up. I merely have to allow it to express itself properly, in every word and movement. I am not concerned with myself, or my reputation, but with the clarity with which I was able to actualize my self expression, because that is the only thing that makes me truly exist.
...
Focus on little things. Go up and say 'hello' merely to observe the explosion of chaos that your mind expects will happen within you. If it happens, feel it and listen to it, observe where it came from, with what conceptions and judgements. Where in your body does it reside? How does it move through your body? What effects does it have? Is it even unpleasant? What if you did nothing to stop it, but just watched it calmly?
But more than likely, it won't happen - but you'll be brought sharply into the present, perhaps with your heart beating fast or legs trembling a little, but knowing that even that was not enough to stop you from looking behind the curtain of your possibilities, and seeing for a brief moment that all the obstacles you thought existed between you and they were only mirages that vanished before you.
