OUCH...The F word

[mjk1234]

Text transcript after a date with lots of "getting to know you" conversation:

Her: Thanks again I had fun...next time I'll be able to hang out later.
Me: It's cool...sometimes life gets in the way of fun.
Her: Dealing with drunk people all day wears me out!
Me: Then you had to deal with me. You deserve a medal!!
Her: No way, you were really fun to talk to silly!!! I think we will be really good friends! ))

I'm totally screwed :,(

 

[Good Vibes]

I wouldn't be concerned about that at all, just agree with her. You can develop a friends with benefits relationship. Just don't give up focusing on your game and don't take what a girl says as gospel. It may well be her way she thinks of getting a boyfriend, you just need to out frame her.

 

[Nova]

girls say that all the time for various reasons, most commonly to test you. so treat it as just that, a test. Don't let it get in your way or faze you, carry on as normal. I don't know what kind of vibe u gave off to her but as long as it was sexy then your good. Keep an eye on your vibe and fundamentals tho jut in case that has something to do with her talking about being friends.

 

[Tyme2k]

Maybe it's cause you didn't escalate on the first date?

 

[Nuncle]

As a side issue maybe don't put yourself down like in the penultimate line of that text exchange?

 

[mjk1234]

Nuncle, it was a joke and she clearly knew it was a joke. A little self-deprecating humor isn't always bad. I know her and I knew she would know it was a joke.

Things are progressing a little better...she's is going to take me out next Friday (and pay) and we also have tentative plans to go see a movie on some undetermined day.

Tyme, you're right, it's probably because I didn't escalate. Next time I see her, I'm kissing her. Period.

 

[Nuncle]

No, sure I know it was a joke.

Still, jokes like that can still stick and present slightly the wrong mental picture of you. Its the sort of thing I naturally say. But if you run that past an actual girl who's a friend she will most likely say "oooh no don't say that!!". That's what mine said anyway.

 

[Tyme2k]

I use self depricating on the regular actually. In a sense you say it with a cocky tone similar to how he formulated the text. In person I will put on a cocky smile that shows I'm saying one thing, but clearly mean the opposite. It's fun and adds flavor to the interaction. It makes you cocky at the same time not cocky.

I do however feel a girl who thinks you are not on her level might feel even stronger about this if you use humor like that. It's all situational.

 

[Mr. Hawaii]

She likely replied like that because of your joke. There aren't many options for her to reply. Nuncle is right, that kind of stuff works face to face, but over a text it seems as if you're seeking her to build you up, which she did. Her only options were to agree with you, likely joking, but still your choices after that route are limited; Or she could have disagreed, but after doing that she doesn't want to put herself so far out there, which is likely why she dropped the f word. i would have replied with something simple like a smiley.

 

[Nuncle]

Yes true I suppose it (self deprecation) depends on the context. If you've given her the cocky "bad boy" act on the date in question it could work.